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Chapter I.—At Sea:—Early Troubles—Cabin’d, Cribb’d, Confin’d—Travelling Companions—“Ordered Abroad by the Doctor”—“In the Bay o’ Biscay O”—Ship Stewards—Racing under Difficulties—A Selfish Amusement—Musical Discords—The Ship’s Newspaper—Our Ship goes too Fast—Why Ship Captains are Tories—Ixion goes Mad—Burial at Sea—The Parson “quite at Sea”—A Congregation Guaranteed—Look Out for Sharks!—“Let the Soup pass, Sir”—The “Scarlet Lady.”

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Chapter II.—At Sea:—“Working off the Dead Horse”—“Poor Old Man!”—“May your Shadow never Grow Less!”—The “Blatant Beast”—The “Generous” Gambler—A Fiery Celt—The “Classic” Dolphin—“Get your Letters Ready”—“A Man of Peace now”—Mixing his Degrees—Good enough for the Colonies!—“Now Fridolin was a Pious Youth”—A Bootless Errand—Cross Signals—Tristan d’Acunha—A Parson Wanted—“The Rolling Forties”—A Hot January Morning.

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Chapter III.—In Victoria:—The Black Death in Melbourne—Melbourne—Education—A Caustic Smile—“All Work and no Play”—“A New Way to Pay Old Debts”—“Happy Land” in Victoria—“Hush! prohibited”—An Opening for “Gentlemen”—“Hallelujah Claim”—The Black Spur—A “Soafler”—Comforting the Widow—Hard Fare—Pioneering—Lovely Marysville—The Five Deadly Poisons—Back to Melbourne.

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Chapter IV.—In Tasmania:—Cologn–ial Smells—Launceston—A Tonsorial Palace—Harvest in February—The Land of Snakes—Der Dichter spricht—“The Dangers of the Seas”—“Sweet Vale of Avoca”—A Charming Village—Where’s Falmouth?—A Lonely Burying-place—A Narrow Escape—Snakes!—“Scotched, but not Killed”—“Acres many, People few”—The Rabbit and the Thistle—Breaking the Pledge—Hobart the Beautiful—Jericho to Jerusalem via Bagdad—Farewell, Tasmania.

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Chapter V.—In New South Wales:—Off to Sydney—“What d’ye think of our Harbour?”—A “Southerly Buster”—Oysters on Trees—A rather particular Couple—Mount Victoria—A Tremendous Leap—A wicked Parrot—“Bail up”—The Laughing Jackass—Let Sleeping Bull-dogs Lie—An Election in Sydney—Beer and Bible—Through Wagga-Wagga—In the Bush—Track-making—Sighing for Old England—“Tommy”—Albury and Wodonga, a contrast—The Bush-rangers.

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Chapter VI.—In Australia:—Victoria, Protection—The Dog subsisting on its own Tail—Cabby over-rides the Tramway—His Profit was not “quite enough”—Protection with a Vengeance—“Quite right to Cheat the Government”—Free Trade, New South Wales—A Genuine “Native Industry”—How Population is attracted—A Prosperous Colony—Demand for Agricultural Labourers—“Young Australia.”

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Chapter VII.—On the Pacific:—Homeward Bound—Ten Months’ Drought—Auckland—Fiji—Kandavu Harbour—A Fearful Voice—Sharks and Dark Skins—Dropping a Day—A Colonial Doctor—Man Overboard—Honolulu—A Square Meal—Dressmaking in Honolulu—A “Brownie”—“Yes, for a Dollar”—A Plague of Centipedes—A Bilious “Down-Easter”—Jefferson Brick, Junior—“Mister”—“A Personal Favour!”—Through “The Golden Gate”—Earning a Cent anyway.

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Chapter VIII.—In America:—San Francisco—The Palace Hotel—Chinese Washermen—The National Habit—Flats and Sharps—Qualifications for a State Governor—John Chinaman in California—The Missing Link—Little Min-ne, a Chinese Bride—Am claimed as a Chinaman—Pacific Sea-Lions—The last of “Mister”—Across America—A Magnificent Country—The Noble Red Man—A Long Arm and Quick Eye—John Bright—A Tremendous Crash—The Trapper’s Story—How Taurus “Meets the Train”—The Alkali Plains—Salt Lake City—“I guess I’ll take your Gold”—Rock Groups—“No, Sah!” said Sambo.

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Chapter IX.—In America:—“Eat and be satisfied”—Chicago—Niagara—Ruthless Desecration—“He must raise his Salary”—The “American Language”—The Hudson—The Celestial Harmonies—A Dealer in Justice—“Rich, but Honest”—“Dear” America—Baggage Arrangements—Philadelphia—The Centennial Exhibition—An Argument for Protection—Artisans’ Wages and Holidays—Protection doomed—Cadgers—Freedom, for Tongue and Foot—Something hot!

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Chapter X.—In Egypt:—Suez—Hassan—Donkeys for Nine—The Languishing Nobleman—Backsheesh—Painting the Lily—Forced Labour, a painful Sight—Agriculture À la Adam—School Interrupted—In the Bazaars—The Jewellers—A Bridal Party—Sultan Hassan—Familiar Devils—Up the Great Pyramid—The Heaven-sent Stick—A Wash and a Shave—To Sakkara—A Great City—At Sakkara—Tomb of the Sacred Bulls—The Tomb of a High Priest—A Graphic Biograph—The Eternal Backsheesh—A Camelcade.

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Chapter XI.—In Egypt:—Pious Orgies—Howlers and Dancers—Miss Whateley’s Schools—“She only steals the Eggs now!”—In Shubra Avenue—A Useful Animal—A Morning Ride—Sultan Selim—“Sir, I am a Christian”—A Holy Fakir—A Statue four thousand years old—Irrigation—Venerable Orphans—Home to Vote.

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Chapter XII.—In Egypt;—Port Said—Hawkers—Bohemiennes—Marines—The last Unmarried Lady—The Harbour—A discerning young Arab—The Red Ribbon Army—“Once a Member, always a Member”—The Spider—“One must be civ-il!”—Our Blue Jackets.

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Chapter XIII.—The Suez Canal:—Arabi in Exile—A ’cute Governor—The French outwitted—“Thomas Cook and Son”—A Black-Guard—Tel-el-Kebir—The Land of Goshen—The Suez Canal—Lord Palmerston—Immense Traffic—Lake Timsah—Predictions—Red Tape—Absurd Restrictions—Lesseps’ Position—A Suggestion—The Dual Control—Arabi Bey—Mutinous Conduct—Irregular Court-Martial—How Arabi recruited his Army—“L’etat c’est moi.”

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Chapter XIV.—Alexandria:—Ras-el-Tin—The Forts—A Courageous Merchant—Alexandria in Ruins—Alexandria not Bombarded—Anglo-Indians—Brindisi—Quarantine.

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INDEX.

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