  Professor Theophilus Socrates Snook One day paid a visit to Susan, his cook, And, beaming upon her with kindliest look, Said, "Susan, my dear, please gaze at this book. In here you may learn of elephantiasis, And also the hookworm, uncinariasis; Of craw-craw and chiggers, of ainhum and sprue, And all that I've written about them is true. Now, Susan, to me you've been faithful, my dear, In keeping my house for many a year; For years nearly twenty you've been now with me, Cooking my victuals just as they should be, And truly I think a reward I should pay To one who has labored from day unto day. So when I discovered a wondrous new germ, Which causes young children to wiggle and squirm, I thought that this bug for you I would name And bring you great glory and honor and fame. It's a wondrous discovery, this ungomariasis, "No, thank you, your honor," said Susan Bawben, "I had the bugs once and don't want 'em again. And if you onsist upon callin' me BUGS, I'll lave you alone wid your books and your drugs." |
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