CHAPTER XXXIV. BELOW STAIRS.

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While matters were moving on thus excitedly above stairs there was an unusual commotion in the lower regions, effected by the machinations and deceptions of that arch-flirt, Dolf. He had succeeded in accomplishing what no sable gallant had ever done before; he had softened Clorinda's obdurate heart, and made her think it possible that at some future time she might be persuaded to place her fair self, and what she prized more, her money, in Dolf's keeping.

But the worst of it was, Dolf's susceptible fancy led him strongly in another direction, even while his discretion warned him to follow up the success he had achieved with the culinary nymph. Victoria was a stylish, handsome young mulatto, and Clorinda was, undoubtedly, pure African to the very root of her genealogical tree. African from the soul of her broad foot to the end, I cannot say point, of her flat nose. Indeed, it is quite possible that Dolf's yellow skin went for something in her admiration; but unfortunately Dolf preferred the cafÉ-au-lait complexion also, and had a masculine weakness in favor of youth and good looks.

Poor Clorinda certainly did present a rather dry and withered aspect; her hands bore rough evidence of the toil with which she had earned the money her sable lover coveted, and their clasp was very unsatisfactory to a man whose flirtations had hitherto been with ladies' maids. She was sadly destitute of the airs and graces with which Victoria fascinated the grand sex so freely upon all occasions; Clo's curly tresses held quantities of whiteness, and she could only hide it under gorgeous bandannas, which were now wofully out of fashion among the colored aristocrats, and gaze enviously at Victoria's long curls, feeling her fingers quiver to give them a pull when that damsel fluttered them too jauntily in her eyes.

There had always been trouble enough between the two, but after Dolf's arrival the kitchen department grew very hot and uncomfortable, and even the wary Dolf himself, skilled as he was in Lotharian practices, frequently had great difficulty in steering clear of both Scylla and Charybdis.

Clorinda was much given to devotional exercises, and went to meeting on every possible occasion; while Victoria, with the flightiness of her years, laughed at Clo's psalm-singing, and interrupted her prayers in the most fervid part by polka steps and profane redowas. In order to propitiate Clorinda, Dolf had accompanied her to meeting much oftener than his inclinations prompted, expressing the utmost desire to be remembered in her prayers, all the while denouncing himself as a miserable sinner not worth saving.

But good women with a weakness for helping masculine sinners are alike in one thing, no matter what their color may be—wickedness has a strange attraction for them. It was the peril in which she considered Dolf, that made Clo so lenient towards him; it would be such a triumph to win him from his wicked ways, and lead him up to a height where he would be secure from the craft of the evil one, and what was more important, beyond the wiles of that yellow girl Victoria, who was regarded by her fellow-servants as a direct emissary of the prince of darkness.

Clo labored faithfully with 'Dolf, though it must be confessed she allowed her religious instructions to be diversified with a little more love-making than would have been quite sanctioned by her class leader, and for the first time in her life became extravagant in the matter of dress, wearing the most gorgeous bandannas every day, and even adopting an immense crinoline, which she managed so badly that it was constantly bringing her into grotesque difficulties, to Victoria's intense delight.

Of course these females, like their betters, never quarreled openly about Dolf, but they found endless subjects of dispute to improve upon, and sometimes that adroit fellow got into serious difficulty with both by attempting to mediate between them.

On occasions the sable rivals would hide their bitterness under smiles and good nature, and appear almost affectionate after the influence of a sudden truce; but Dolf learned to dread those seasons of deceitful calm, for they were the sure precursors of an unusually fierce tempest, which, blowing in opposite directions, it was impossible for him to escape.

These three restless persons went out one evening to pay a visit to some sable friends in the neighborhood, where the colored gentry often met and had choice little entertainments; where the eatables came from perhaps it would not have been wise for their employers to inquire.

Old Mrs. Hopkins and her fascinating daughter, Miss Dinah, were the possessors of this abode, and Clo and Victoria had for some time been promising Dolf a visit there. That night seemed a favorable occasion for the expedition, as a store of fruit pies, blanc mange and chicken salad, had that day been moulded by Clo's own expert hands, and half a jelly cake set aside in the closet ready for the basket which took so many mysterious journeys in Mrs. Hopkins' direction.

"I nebber sends back pieces to de table," said Clo; "it's wulgar."

"In course it is," returned Dolf; "I'se sure nothing would orritate master more."

Vic attempted no deceptions on her conscience; she liked jelly cake, and did not trouble herself about the manner in which it was obtained; since her earliest remembrance stolen delicacies had never given her a moment's indigestion, or the least approach to moral nightmare.

They went over to visit Mrs. Hopkins and Miss Dinah, and the evening was made a festive one, with Clo's pies, the hard cider which Mrs. Hopkins provided, and other delicacies which composed a sumptuous entertainment.

But as ill-luck would have it, two or three other friends strayed in, and among them was a young woman as much given to coquetry as Dolf himself; and before a great while Dolf's love of flirtation got the better of his prudence, and plentiful doses of the hard cider rendered him reckless. In spite of the indignation which both Clo and Victoria displayed, he was exerting all his fascinations on the newcomer, while her neglected beau sat looking like a modern Othello, with every glance expressive of bowie-knives at least.

When the damsel went out with Miss Dinah, for an extra bench from the wash-house, Dolf accompanied them, and directly the company were startled by a direful commingling of laughter and doleful shrieks.

Clo flew to the door and opened it; Victoria peeped over her shoulder; there was that perfidious Dolf encircling the stranger damsel with his right arm, and making bold efforts to lay hold of the wash-bench with his left.

Dolf looked up and saw Clo; he was not so much under the excitement of the cider that he could not understand the risk he ran.

"Dare is pretty conducts!" exclaimed Clo.

"I shud tink so," chimed in Victoria. "If you please, Miss Clorinda, I tink I will locomote home; I ain't accustomed to sich goings on myself; dey isn't de fashion in de Piney Cove basement."

Clorinda got her bonnet and tied it on her head with an indignant jerk.

The outraged damsels would hear no persuasions, and Dolf was forced to accompany them back, and a very uncomfortable time he had of it.

First they abused the impudent young pusson they had left behind, and nearly annihilated Dolf when he attempted a word in the young woman's favor.

"I 'clar," cried Clo at last; "Mr. Dolf, yer go 'long as crooked as a rail fence; what am de matter, are yer jest done gone and no 'count nigger any how?"

Dolf only gave a racy chuckle.

"I guess goin' into the wash-room turned his head," said Vic.

"De siety I'se enjoyin' at dis minit," said deceitful Dolf, "is enough to turn de head of any gemman."

"Oh, we know all 'bout dat," said Vic.

"In course you does," returned Dolf, forgetting Clorinda, and trying to seize Vic's hand, but so uncertain were his movements that she readily escaped him.

Clorinda saw it all; it was fuel to the flame which consumed her.

"Miss Victory," said she, "yer needn't push me into de brook."

"Who's a pushin' of yer?" retorted Victoria, with equal acidity.

"Yer was, yer own self."

"I didn't—so dar! Guess somethin' ails yer head too, de way yer go on—pushin' indeed."

"I scorns yer insinivations," said Clorinda, "and despises yer actuations!"

"Jis' don't go pitchin' into me and callin' me names," retorted Vic; "'cause I won't stand it."

"Ladies, ladies!" interposed Dolf. "Don't resturb de harmonium of our walk by any onpleasant words."

"I ain't a sayin' nothin'," said Vic.

"Yer've said more'n I," returned Clo, "and I ain't gwine to be pushed inter de ditch by nobody—thar!"

Clorinda was naturally more irritated than Vic, because Dolf had made no effort to seize upon her hand, which trembled to give him a pardoning clasp.

"Nobody wants ter push yer," said Vic.

"I don' know 'bout dat," said Clo, solemnly; "I b'lieve if I was murdered in my bed I shud know whar ter look for de murderer."

"Sich subjects, Miss Clorinda, is not fit for yer lubly lips," said Dolf; "don' gib dem houseroom, I begs."

"Mr. Dolf," returned Clorinda, with a severity that pierced like a warning through the elation of Lothario's brain; "don' try none ob dem flightinesses wid me; I ain't one ob dat sort."

"What sort?" asked Victoria.

"Neber yer mind," said Clo, with majesty; "neber yer mind, miss; children don' comprehensianise sich like."

"I onderstands Miss Clorinda, and I venerates her sentimens," observed Dolf; "but when a gemman finds hisself in sich siety as dis, de language of compliments flows as naturally ter his lips as—as—cider from a junk bottle."

This well-rounded period softened both the damsels a little; Dolf got Clo on his right arm and Vic on his left; the support was not unwelcome to himself just then; and he managed to keep them both in tolerable humor until they nearly reached the house.

Whether Dolf stumbled, or Victoria gave a sly, vicious push, it was difficult to tell in the darkness, but Clorinda went suddenly down full length in the path.

Victoria gave a laugh of derision, and this gratification of her malicious feelings in the misfortune of her rival, put her in high good-humor.

Dolf hastened to help Clorinda up, but his movements were a little uncertain, and the first thing he did was to set his foot through the crown of her bonnet, which had fallen back from her head.

"I'se killed," shrieked Clo.

"Do scream low, like a 'spectable ole woman!" cried the unsympathising Vic; "yer'll hab de whole house out."

"I don't keer," moaned Clorinda: "I don't keer."

"Why don' yer get up?" demanded Victoria.

"I'll 'sist yer, I'll 'sist yer," said Dolf, making another sidelong movement.

Clorinda endeavored to help herself, but the effort was a failure, and there she lay covered with confusion, for she could not think of giving the real cause of her continued prostration. The truth was she had knocked one high heel from a pair of Mrs. Harrington's French boots, which that lady was not likely to miss before morning; and had sprained her ankle in the process, a very unpleasant situation for a modest and churchgoing darkey to find herself in, late at night, and her lover looking on.

"Be yer gwine to lay dar all night!" asked Vic.

"I kin't get up, I tell yer," said Clo.

"Is yer bones broke?"

"Smashed. One of 'em am smashed," answered Clo, ruefully.

"No, no; Miss Clory, not as bad as dat," said Dolf; "don't petrificate us wid sich a idee. Jis let me sist yer now."

"No, no," cried Clorinda; "wait a minit—my foot—my foot!"

"Hev yer hurt it?" demanded Vic; "let me zamine."

"It's my ankle; can't yer understand?"

"No, I kin't onderstand nothin' 'bout it, only yer makin' a outrageous ole fool o' yerself, and freezin' us to death. Mr. Dolf, 'spozen we go in."

"Yer wouldn't desart a sister in distress," said Dolf, dancing about the prostrate form, unable to comprehend why Clo would not permit him to assist her; while she huddled herself in a heap, in true spinster fear of showing her ankles or exposing the borrowed boot.

"Now, Clo," cried Victoria, "jis git up; I won't stand dis fooling no longer."

"Help me," said Clo; "do help me."

"Hain't Mr. Dolf ben a tryin' dese ten minits!"

"No, no! Bend down here, Vic. Mr. Dolf, if yer's a gemman I ax yer to shut yer eyes."

"My duty is to sarve de fair," said Dolf, turning his back and peeping over his shoulder, very curious to know what could be the difficulty.

Clo whispered in Victoria's ear with agonised sharpness,

"Dem boots am so high, an' my ankle is guv out, jes ondo de buttons!"

A stone might have sympathised with her maidenly distress, but that wicked Victoria burst into absolute shrieks of laughter.

"Oh, oh, oh! yer ole fool!" she cried, between her shouts of merriment. "Yer too ole for new fashions—telled yer so!"

Clorinda's outraged modesty was forgotten in the fury which Victoria's lack of sympathy caused.

"Jis let me git up!" cried she. "I'll fix yer; I'll frizzle dem long beaucatchers like a door mat, an' stamp on 'em."

"What am it?" demanded Dolf.

As well as she could speak for laughing, Victoria began "She's just choked up her foot in Miss Harrington's high pinercled boots!"

"Hush up!" interrupted Clo. "I'll pisen yer if yer don't shut yer impudent mouth."

"Ki! ki! ki! oh, laws, I shall die! Ole folks hadn't orter try to be young uns. I've telled yer so, Clo, fifty times," shrieked the yellow maiden; "'tain't no wonder yer snickered, Dolf; borrered feathers! he, he! Vic!"

Clorinda sprang to her feet with a yell of triumph and rage, and limping toward Victoria, caught that yellow maiden by her much-prized tresses, and for a few moments the battle between the rivals raged furiously.

Clo quite forgot her religion in the excitement, and her language might have shocked the elders had they heard it, while Victoria struggled bravely to save her tresses from extermination.

"De hall door's a openin'," cried Dolf, struck with a brilliant thought; "I believe it's marster comin' out."

The battle ceased. Dolf ran towards the house and the combatants after him; Clorinda limping like a returned soldier, but Dolf never stopped till he was safe in his own dormitory, not caring to trust himself in the presence of either of the infuriated damsels.

Indeed, the next morning it required the special interference of Mrs. Mellen herself to settle the matter, and several days passed before perfect harmony was restored in the lower regions at Piney Cove.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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