DEPORTMENT AT TABLE is the most important single item in the total of good manners. Yet, the requirements are very simple—so simple indeed that there is little excuse for those who fail in them.

It should hardly be necessary to say that the position must be one of well-balanced erectness. A man’s hands should be kept in his lap when not busy. So of a woman’s—formerly. Of recent years, a new custom has crept in, and it is common to see a woman’s forearm or elbow resting at ease on the table.

The napkin is only partly unfolded, and laid across the lap. In the case of a woman, it covers her gloves, which she has taken off on seating herself. At the end of the meal, the crumpled napkin is laid beside the plate. But, when making an extended stay with friends, the napkin is folded if the host and hostess fold theirs in preparation for use at another meal.

The knife is employed only for cutting purposes, being then held in the right hand. It is afterward put down, while the fork is transferred to the right hand for passing food to the mouth. When not in use both knife and fork are left on the plate. They should not be held in the hands, or laid down on the table. They are to remain on the plate also if it is sent for another helping. When eating is ended, knife and fork are laid together on the plate—parallel, points to the center, and the fork tines down.

The fork should be used throughout with the tines downward. It is only used spoon-fashion for small vegetables such as peas. The fork rather than a spoon should be used for eating ices, melons, and the like. It is used to fold lettuce and other salad leaves, which must not be cut with a knife.

The knife is used only for cutting, and is afterward laid down on the plate.

Beverages in glasses or cups are tested by sipping from a spoon, which is then laid down. Afterward one drinks directly from the container. The spoon must never be allowed to stand in a cup or glass. For taking soup, the spoon is pushed forward, not drawn toward one. The soup plate is never tipped. The liquid must be taken into the mouth from the side of the spoon never from the end.

Boiled eggs are properly eaten with a spoon, of course, as are jellies, custards and the like, grape-fruit and various fruits served with cream, and cereals.

A finger-bowl is properly used on finishing a fruit course. A slight rinsing of the finger-tips suffices, after which they are wiped on the napkin.

Butter is not served at formal dinners.

At all other meals a special plate is laid for bread and butter, and a small knife of silver for spreading the butter. The bread is broken with the fingers, a mouthful at a time and separately buttered. Cake is eaten either in the fingers or with a fork.

Cheese is cut into small pieces. Each piece is placed on a mouthful of bread or cracker, and then eaten from the fingers.

Apples, pears, etc., are quartered, peeled, cut in mouthfuls, and then eaten from the fingers. Smaller fruits with pits are eaten from the fingers. Each pit is taken from the mouth in the closed hand and deposited on the plate.

Asparagus is eaten with a fork. That part of the stalk not easily cut by the fork is left. But burr artichokes are eaten from the fingers a leaf at a time, after it has been dipped in the sauce. Only the heart demands the use of a fork.

Celery, olives and radishes are eaten from the fingers. So, also, are crystallized fruits, almonds and other nuts.

When leaving the table at the conclusion of a meal elsewhere than in one’s own house, the chair is left without being pushed back close to the table.