THE POLITEST MAN of whom history has record was a Norwegian. A stranger in a town of Norway asked a passing native the way to a certain address. The native raised his hat, bowed, and said:

“Sir, I am very sorry, but I do not know.”

The stranger passed on. A few minutes later, he heard the sound of some one running behind him. He faced about, and recognized the native, who came, halted, and after a few deep breaths, said, while bowing with uplifted hat:

“Sir, after leaving you, I met my brother-in-law, and I regret to tell you, Sir, that he also does not know.”

In spite of this story with its Norwegian hero, first place is usually given to the French in matters of politeness. There is an old story that illustrates with remarkable precision the national traits of French, English and German. This has to do with the manner of lighting a cigar. The Frenchman strikes a match, offers the flame to his companions, then makes a light for himself. The Englishman lights his own cigar first, and then offers the match to his companions. The German lights his own cigar, then throws the match away. The brief recital contains something deeper than mere humor in its analysis of national characteristics. The consideration of the Frenchman for others is indeed the essential basis for all true courtesy. Genuine politeness has its root always in a very real regard for the feelings of others.

The ancient proverb declares that cleanliness is next to godliness. In fact, so far as concerns casual associations, cleanliness is the more important. We have ordinarily nothing to do with the morals of those whom we encounter for a few fugitive moments, but the most fleeting companionship with a dirty person is offensive, while a perfect cleanliness is always pleasing in its effect.

As a matter of fundamental courtesy toward others, we are required to keep ourselves clean. Such cleanliness may be excellent as a hygienic measure, but one most eminent physician has declared that bathing is not essential to health, and he offers in proof of his assertion the great number of old persons there are in the world.

But those aged unwashed would be repulsive in refined society. Their condition would distress others. Quite involuntarily, they would thus be guilty of discourtesy.

The principle of consideration for others that exalts cleanliness as a virtue is the principle that actually fashions all the essential forms of politeness. At a decent dinner-table, one must not smack his lips, or make loud noises in taking soup from the spoon, for the simple reason that such behavior will annoy others. Often, a sympathetic person, absolutely untaught in the niceties of etiquette, will do the right thing by a natural instinct of kindliness, where another individual of polite breeding will do the wrong from sheer lack of that fellow-feeling which gives understanding.

Nevertheless, while the noblest courtesy must spring always from the heart, common convenience has settled on definite methods of deportment for various occasions. Ignorance of these details as to proper conduct is not a matter to be contemned, but one to be regretted, because a person thus ignorant, no matter how kindly his intention, must often disturb others by failure to do the expected thing in the expected way. In other words, he lacks knowledge of what are termed the proprieties. It is with the intention of offering assistance to those finding themselves in doubt as to the niceties of deportment that this book has been prepared.

It is arranged with the contents in alphabetical order, so that the topics are self-indexed.

In addition to the bulk of information set forth in the following pages, there needs only one direction of importance.

This is based on the ancient saying: “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” Practically every community has its local customs, and these are always to be respected. There is nothing more snobbish than criticism by a stranger of social forms that are well established. It is always his duty to respect them and to observe them. Otherwise, he displays that lack of consideration for others which is the root of all rudeness. One sympathetically disposed toward his fellows who avails himself of the information in this book may rest confident in the assurance that he is indeed the possessor of good manners.