In February the interruption ceased. Mabel was better. She was well enough for John to take her to the Riviera. Jane was, as they said, "off" again. But not all at once; not without suffering, for the seventh time, the supreme agony of the creator—that going down into the void darkness, to recall the offended Power, to endure the tortures that propitiate the revolted Will. Her book was finished in March and appeared in April. Her terror of the published thing was softened to her by the great apathy and fatigue which now came upon her; a fatigue and an apathy in which Henry recognized the beginning of the illness he had prophesied. He reminded her that he had prophesied it long ago; and he watched her, sad and unsurprised, but like the angel he invariably was in the presence of physical suffering. She was thus spared the ordeal of the birthday celebration. It was understood that she would give audience in her study to her friends, to Arnott Nicholson, to the Protheros and Tanqueray. Instead of all going in at once, they were to take it in turns. She lay there on her couch, waiting for Tanqueray to come and tell her whether this time it was life or death. Nicky's turn came first. Nicky was unspeakably moved at the sight of her. He bent over her hand and kissed it; and her fear misread his mood. "Dear Nicky," she said, "are you consoling me?" He stood solemnly before her, inspired, positively flaming with annunciation. "Wait—wait," he said, "till you've seen Him. I won't say a word." Nicky had never made himself more beautiful; he had never yet, in all his high renouncing, so sunk, so hidden himself behind the splendour that was Tanqueray. "And Prothero" (he laid beauty upon beauty), "he'll tell you himself. He's on his knees." The moments passed. Nicky in his beauty and his pain wandered outside in the garden, leaving her to Prothero and Laura. And in the drawing-room, where Tanqueray waited for his turn, Jane's family appraised her triumph. Henry, to Caro Bickersteth in a corner, was not sure that he did not, on the whole, regret it. These books wrecked her nerves. She was, Henry admitted, a great genius; but great genius, what was it, after all, but a great Neurosis? Not far from them Louis Levine, for John's benefit, calculated the possible proceeds of the new book. Louis smiled his mobile smile as he caught the last words of Henry's diagnosis. Henry might say what he liked. Neurosis, to that extent, was a valuable asset. He could do, Louis said, with some of it himself. Brodrick, as he surveyed with Tanqueray the immensity of his wife's achievement, wondered whether, for all that, she had not paid too high a price. And Sophy Levine, who overheard him, whispered to Frances that it was he, poor dear, who paid. Tanqueray got up and left the room. He had heard through it all the signal that he waited for, the sound of the opening of Jane's door. Her eyes searched his at the very doorway. "Is it all right, George?" she whispered. Her hand, her thin hand, held his until he answered. "It's tremendous." "Do you remember two years ago—when you wouldn't drink?" "I drank this time. I'm drunk, Jinny, drunk as a lord." "I swore I'd make you drink, this time; if I died for it." She leaned back in the corner of her couch, looking at him. "Thank heaven you've never lied to me; because now I know." "I wonder if you do. It's alive, Jinny; it's organic; it's been conceived and born." He brought his chair close to the table that stood beside her couch, a barrier between them. "It's got what we're all praying for—that divine unity——" "I didn't think it could have it. I'm torn in pieces." "You? I knew you would be." "It wasn't the book." "What was it?" he said fiercely. "It was chiefly, I think, Mabel Brodrick's illness." "Whose illness?" "John's wife's. You don't know what it means." "I can see. You let that woman prey on you. She sucks your life. You're white; you're thin; you're ill, too." She shook her head. "Only tired, George." "Why do you do it? Why do you do it, Jinny?" he pleaded. "Ah—I must." He rose and walked up and down the room; and each time as he turned to face her he burst out into speech. "What's Brodrick doing?" She did not answer. He noticed that she never answered him when he spoke of Brodrick now. He paid no heed to the warning of her face. "Why does he let his beastly relations worry you? You didn't undertake to marry the whole lot of them." He turned from her with that, and she looked after him. The set of his shoulders was square with his defiance and his fury. He faced her again. "I suppose if he was ill you'd have to look after him. I don't see that you're bound to look after his sisters-in-law. Why can't the Brodricks look after her?" "They do. But it's me she wants." He softened, looking down at her. But she did not see his look. "You think," said she, "that it's odd of her—the last thing anybody could want?" His face changed suddenly as the blood surged in it. He sat down, and stretched his arms across the table that was the barrier between them. His head leaned towards her with its salient thrust, its poise of impetus and forward flight. "If you knew," he said, "the things you say——" His hands made a sudden movement, as if they would have taken hers that lay nerveless and helpless, almost within their grasp. She drew her hands back. "It's nearly ten o'clock," she said. "Do you want me to go?" She smiled. "No. Only—they'll say, if I sit up, that that's what tires me." "And does it? Do I tire you?" "You never tire me." "At any rate I don't destroy you; I don't prey on you." "We all prey on each other. I prey on you." "You? Oh—Jinny!" Again there was a movement of his hands, checked, this time, by his own will. "Five minutes past ten, George. They'll come and carry me out if I don't go." "Who will?" "All of them, probably. They're all in there." "It's preposterous. They don't care what they do to you themselves; they bore you brutally; they tire you till you're sick; they hand you on to each other, to be worried and torn to pieces; and they drag you from anybody who does you good. They don't let you have five minutes' pleasure, Jinny, or five minutes' peace. Good Lord, what a family!" "Anyhow, it's my family." "It isn't. You haven't got a family; you never had and you never will have. They don't belong to you, and you don't belong to any of them, and you know it——" She rose. "All the same, I'm going to them," she said. "And that reminds me, how's Rose?" "Perfectly well, I believe." "It's ages since I saw Rose. Tell her—tell her that I'm coming to see her." "When?" he said. "Some day next week." "Sunday?" He knew, and she knew that he knew, that Sunday was Brodrick's day. "No, Monday. Monday, about four." |