And, after all, Monday, that is to say the day at Richmond, never came. On Monday morning when Violet got up she was seized with a slight dizziness and sickness. It passed off. She declared that earthquakes shouldn't stop her going to Richmond, and dressed herself in defiance of all possible disturbance. Ransome took the Baby over to Wandsworth, to his mother, to be looked after. At ten o'clock he joined Winny and Maudie and Fred Booty at St. Ann's Terrace, where they had arranged that Violet was to meet them. Following on her bicycle, she would be there at ten sharp, when the five would go on to Richmond by the tram that passed Winny's door. Ransome had no sooner left Granville than Violet slipped out to the chemist's at the corner. Ten o'clock struck, and the quarter and the half hour, and Violet had not appeared at St. Ann's Terrace. Ransome proposed that the others should go on without him; he said he thought there must be something wrong, and that he had better go and see what had happened. They argued about it for a while, and finally Maudie and Fred Booty started. Winny refused flatly to go with them. She was convinced that they would meet Violet on the road to Southfields. She must have had a puncture, Winny said. But they did not meet her. And there was no sign of her downstairs at Granville. "Hark! What's that?" said Winny, listening at the foot of the stair. "Oh, Ranny!" From the room above there came a low, half-stifled sound of sobbing and groaning. He dashed upstairs. In a few minutes he returned to Winny in the front sitting-room. "What's the matter? Is she ill?" she said. "No, I don't think so. She won't tell me. She's horribly upset about something." "Shall I go to her?" "No; better not, Winny. Look here, she won't come to Richmond. She says we're to go without her." "We can't, Ranny." "I don't know. Upon my word, I think we may as well. She'll be more upset if we don't go. She says she wants to be left to herself for one day." A sort of tremor passed over her eyes. They did not look at him; they looked beyond him, as if somewhere they saw something that frightened her. "You mustn't leave her, Ranny," she said. He laughed. "She doesn't want me. She's just told me so." "Whether she wants you or not you've got to stay with her." She said it sternly. "I say, you needn't talk like that. To hear you any one would think I fair neglected her." She bit her lip. Her eyes wandered in their troubled way. She looked like a thing held there under his eyes against its will and seeking some way of escape. "I don't think you neglect her, Ranny," she said at last. "Well, then, what do you think?" She turned. "I think I'm going for a little spin somewhere by myself. I shall come back in time for dinner. Then I shall go down to Wandsworth and fetch Baby." "I'll do that." "No, you won't. You'll stay with Violet," she said. "And what about your holiday?" "My holiday's all right. Don't you worry." She was out of the house and in the garden. Mechanically he wheeled her bicycle out into the road. He was utterly submissive to her will. She mounted, and he ran by her side; she pressed on her pedals, compelling him to run fast and faster; she set her mouth hard, grinning, and forced the pace, and he ran at the top of his speed and laughed. At the end of the Avenue she turned, waved to him gaily and was gone. Upstairs on her bed, in the room of the love knots, Violet lay and writhed. She lay on her face. She had wetted her pillow with her tears; she had flung it aside and was digging her hands into Ransome's pillow with a tearing, disemboweling motion. Every now and then, with the regularity of a machine, she gave out a sob and a groan that shook her. He found her so. She turned on her side as he entered, and showed him her face scarlet and swollen with crying. "What have you come for?" she said. "I told you to go." "I haven't gone. I'm not going." "But you've got to go. You shall go. D'you hear? I won't have you hanging about, watching and tormenting me. What are you afraid of? What d'you think I'm going to do?" She turned and raised herself on her elbow and stared about her as if at a host of enemies surrounding her, then she sank back helpless. "Won't you tell me what it is, Vi?" he said, tenderly. He sat beside her, leaning over into her hot lair, and made as though he would have put his hand on her shoulder. She writhed from him. "Why can't you let me be," she cried, "when I don't want you? I don't want you, I tell you, and I wish you'd go away. You've done enough harm as it is." He rose and went to the foot of the bed and stood there, regarding her somberly. "What did you mean by that? What harm have I done you?" She had flung herself down again. "You know—you know," she moaned into the pillow. "My God, I wish I did!" Then he remembered. "Unless—you mean—" "You ought to know what I mean without my telling you." "Well, if I do, you needn't cast it up to me. I married you right enough, Vi." "Yes, that's what you did. And that's why I hate you." "It seems to me a queer reason. But, come to that, what else could we do?" She sat up, pulling herself together like a woman who had things to say and meant to say them now. "We could have done as I wanted. We could have gone on as we were." "That's what you wanted, was it?" "You know it was. I never asked you to marry me. I asked you not to. And you would—you would. I didn't want to marry you." "And why didn't you want? That's what I'd like to get at?" "Because I knew what it would be." "Has it been so very bad then?" She sat up straighter, wringing her hands as if she wrung her words out. "It's been awful—something awful. All the things I don't like—all the time. And it's made me hate the sight of you. It's made me wish I'd died before I'd seen you. And I want to get away. I want to get out of this horrid, hateful little house. I knew I would. I knew—I knew——" "My God—if I'd known——" "You? If you'd known! I wish to God you had. I wish you had just! If that would have stopped you marrying me. Oh, you knew all right; only you didn't care. You never have cared. I suppose you think it's what I'm made for." "I don't follow. It may be all wrong. I'll allow it is all wrong, all the time. What I want to know is what's up now?" "Can't you see what's up? Can't you think?" He thought. And presently he saw. "You don't mean to say it's—it's another?" "Of course it is. What else have I been talking about?" "Are you sure, Vi?" He was very grave, very gentle. "Sure? D'you think I wouldn't make sure, when it's what I'm afraid of all the time?" "Don't you want it? Have you never wanted it?" "Want it? Want it? I'll hate it if it comes. But it won't come. It sha'n't come. I won't have it. I won't live and have it. I shall die anyway." "Oh no, you won't," he said. But she flung herself back and writhed and sobbed again. He sat down and watched with her. In silence and utter hopelessness he watched. Presently she lay motionless, worn out. At one o'clock Winny knocked at the door and said dinner was ready. Violet stirred. "What's the good of sitting staring there like a stuck ox?" She raised herself. "Since you are there you can get me that eau-de-Cologne." He brought it. He bathed her hands and forehead and wiped them with his handkerchief. She dragged herself downstairs and sat red-eyed through the dinner, the materials for the picnic which Winny had unpacked and spread. The day wore on. Violet dragged herself to her bed again, and lay there all afternoon while Ransome hung about the house and garden, unable to think, unable to work, or take an interest in anything. He was oppressed by a sense of irremediable calamity. At four o'clock he made tea and took it to Violet in her room. She sat up, weak and submissive, and drank, crying softly. She turned her face to him as she sank back on her pillow. "I'm sorry, Ranny," she said; "but you shouldn't have married me. I'm not that sort. I told you; and you see." He could not remember when she had ever told him. But it was clear that he saw. For he said to himself, "They say a lot of things they don't mean when they're like this." |