I was obliged to nurse myself a little, as the strong fortress of Bhurtpore was, we understood, to be our next job.[9] Having but in part led the last party in, I became a volunteer to lead the Forlorn Hope at Bhurtpore. This offer his excellency, Lord Lake, accepted, with encomiums on my zeal, and a promise that, if I escaped, I should have a commission. We arrived before this place about the 29th day of December, encamped about two miles from it, and immediately commenced our operations against it. Holkar was lying under its walls, with his immense body of cavalry, who committed every kind of cruelty on the camp-followers that fell into their hands, such as cutting off their hands from the first joint of the wrist, cutting off their noses, ears, &c.; but seldom killing them outright.

During the preparation for the siege, when off duty I amused myself with going out to the advanced piquets, where there were continual skirmishes with Holkar's cavalry, who were always loitering about, day and night. On one of these occasions I nearly paid dear for my imprudence. I ventured far beyond the piquet, in hopes of picking off a fellow who was showing off his horsemanship. As I was mounted on a good horse, and was well armed, I rode after him, gaining ground fast; but, on looking behind, I found myself a considerable distance from the piquet, and that several horsemen had got between us, to prevent my return. To have run away would have given them encouragement: no other remedy was left but to dash through them. Our piquet, seeing my situation, got a six-pounder, and fired a long shot at them. During the consternation caused by the ball striking near them, and smothering them in dust, I made the best use of my horse's legs, got safe to the piquet, and never ventured so far from home again.

On the 1st day of January, 1805, we broke ground against this strong fortress and town. I was again on the working party, my wound being nearly closed. We halted near a wood; and, a party having been sent on to reconnoitre, we at last pitched upon a place, and commenced our nocturnal labours. We had not been at work ten minutes, when they heard our working tools, and commenced a most terrific cannonade. We were ordered to desist, and to lie down behind the earth we had thrown up, which, fortunately for us, was of a sufficient thickness to be musket-ball proof, or we must have suffered dreadfully; for their little rough iron balls flew about as thick as bees. The cannon-shot were generally high: some that fell short rolled, and were brought up by our little mound of defence. They kept it up gloriously for half an hour, conceiving that we intended to take them by surprise; but, from the reports of this fortress containing 100,000 soldiers, and the enormous sum of nineteen crore of rupees, our orders were to approach it by regular siege. I fear I shall be thought rather tedious in relating the disastrous events at this place; but we must take the gall with the honey. The firing having ceased, except at intervals, we recommenced our labours; and glad indeed were we to set blood again on the move. The night was bitterly cold, and the ground damp; but we kept ourselves in exercise with our work, and by daylight we had completed our trenches, and four-gun breaching battery, within five hundred yards of the town wall. The moment the day dawned, our night's work was observed. The fort was again in a blaze; flags were hoisted; the parapet of the town wall was one general mass of spears and little flags, as far as the eye could reach; and the heads of soldiers studded the ramparts with variegated colours—their turbans being generally of the most prominent dyes—red, yellow, and pink. Such shouting, roaring of cannon, whistling of shot, grumbling of rockets, and waving of flags and spears, made me reflect for a moment on the folly of having ever sold my "leathers," to participate in such a scene; but this thought was soon buried in the shouts of defiance from our trenches. We did not show hands, as we had none to spare; but as we were, of course, anxious to see what kind of a place this said Bhurtpore was, we took every opportunity of peeping, whenever we saw a gun fired, crying out, "Shot," which was a signal to bob our heads. On the firing subsiding in the slightest degree, we continued our work, and at length completed our batteries and magazines, and widened our trenches to seven feet, leaving just sufficient room to pass and repass, so as to communicate with our principal depÔt under shelter. During the whole of this day, the enemy kept up an almost incessant fire, both with great guns and small arms, and we had some few men wounded. A soldier of the light company, named Murphy, stood upon the bank, exposing himself, and drawing upon us the fire from the fort. Some of us remonstrated with him on his imprudence, when Paddy coolly replied, "Never fear, honey; sure I have got my eye on them; and, if they kill me, bad luck to me if I don't be after paying them for it when I get into that same fort." In the course of the day he was shot in the finger, for his disregard of our advice, which, he said, was "just because he was looking another way at the time."

In the evening we got our guns into battery, erecting two small batteries of twelves and sixes. A constant fire was kept up by the enemy during the night, and blue lights were to be seen at intervals, as though to inform us that they were on the watch. From the debauched habits of the Mussulmans, in any situation in life, they seldom retire to rest till very late; and then, indeed, so stupefied with eating and smoking auffeem (opium), that they are incapable of being roused to any active duty. From their constant use of this intoxicating drug, they are dull companions when the spirit is absorbed and dead within them; but, when revived, I know no set of people more talkative, communicative, and jovial. Often have I listened with delight to an old Mussulman soldier's relation of his campaigns and stories. We heard drums and music the whole night, now and then accompanied by the inharmonious roar of their guns. The guns used in India by the natives are of cast iron; but, from their using ball beat out instead of cast, the guns labour and roar dreadfully, and the rough surface of their balls tears the muzzles to pieces.

When the morning bestrewed its bright rays abroad, we threw a little further light upon the subject, by opening our breaching-battery with a salvo, accompanied with such terrific cheering and shouting, as seemed to startle the new-risen sun, which at that identical moment peeped from behind its golden curtains to see what was the matter. The enemy, after a moment's pause, were seen in a tremendous bustle, mustering their full force; and their heads were so thick, that, had our shelling-battery been ready, we might have made dreadful havoc among the motley group. They shouted, yelled, screamed, groaned; small arms whistled, cannons, roared; and, in an instant, the fort was enveloped in smoke. It was altogether a most terrific scene. At this moment a soldier called out, "Shipp, have you made your will?" I said "Yes; which is, that I will lead you into that fort undaunted, for all their smoke and rattle."—"Well done, Jack!" said one; "That's a hearty!" said another; and many a joke followed; but, to confess the truth, I thought it no joking matter, but wished most earnestly that I could say, with Macbeth, "I have done the deed." Notwithstanding this, I saw no cause for fretting. Without parents, or ties of any other kind, I felt that I was fully justified in acting

"As if a man were author of himself,
And knew no other kin."

My ambition was to signalize myself in the field of honour; and, if it was to be my fate to fall, I consoled myself with the reflection, that I could not die in a better cause than fighting for my king and country. These were my real feelings; but the business that was going on during the whole of this day, afforded me but little time for reflection. Towards evening, however, we were relieved from the trenches, and obtained some rest.

The next day I took another peep at the Pins, who were in immense numbers in front of our piquets. My fingers itched to be among them, but my last escape withheld me. It was truly tantalizing to see these fellows chuckering their horses not more than a quarter of a mile from our post; but what irritated us still more was, that these miscreants, that evening, sent into our camp about twenty grass-cutters, belonging to the 8th Dragoons, some with their right arms cut off at the wrist-joint, and others with the loss of their noses and ears. These poor creatures paid dearly for their disobedience of general orders, which forbade any grass-cutter from going out alone; but, for the love of plunder, they will at all times risk their lives. It will appear scarcely credible to the general reader, when he is informed, that to every fighting-man in an Indian army, there are at least ten camp-followers. The majority of these live by plundering the adjacent villages round the camp and on the march; robbing every hut and field within ten miles round. There is no possibility of checking them, or preventing these abuses. Amongst these fellows are thieves of every description, and the most notorious are jugglers. They commence their nocturnal pilferings in a state of nudity, oiling themselves all over to prevent their being held if caught; they then creep on their hands and feet like dogs, and frequently imitate them in barking and howling, as well as most other animals, more particularly goats, sheep, and asses. In the course of my narrative, I shall have occasion to mention several instances of this nature that happened to myself.

On the following morning, I went again on duty in the trenches. We retired into the wood before mentioned, which had a path of communication with the trenches, though it was a considerable distance from the grand breaching-battery. Our operations against the fort continued active and resolute; but our balls made but little impression upon the mud bastions and curtains. Many of them scarcely buried themselves, and others rolled down into the underworks of the enemy, and were kindly sent back to us. It is almost folly to attempt to effect a practicable breach in a fort built of such materials. The crust you knock off the face of a bastion or curtain, forms a great barrier to your approach to a solid footing. Young engineers are too apt to judge, from the appearance of the fallen mud, that the breach is practicable; when, the first step the storming-party takes, they find they sink up to their necks in light earth. A woful instance of this nature I shall have to advert to more particularly in the course of my narrative; and, if it prove a timely hint to the inexperienced, I shall be rewarded. Stone forts are soon demolished; when undermined well at the bottom, the top will soon follow, and they cannot easily be repaired; but mud forts defy human power.

We this day erected howitzer and mortar-batteries; and, when they first opened, they struck terror and consternation into the enemy, who fled in every direction, to avoid those destructive engines; but, in a few hours, they dug holes in the ramparts, which they got into whenever they saw those unwelcome visitors on the wing; and, unless the shell happened actually to fall on them, they escaped in this way. But our shelling in those days was a mere bagatelle to what it is now. A shell in five minutes was then enormous; now, twenty in one minute is by no means extraordinary, and these twice as big as in the times of which I speak.

This day the enemy was pretty passive; no doubt, making places of refuge. Our shells, if thrown further into the town, must have been most destructive, for the population was evidently prodigious, from the number of fighting men. The houses frequently appeared on fire, and several small explosions took place daily; no doubt small magazines. These little incidents generally created cheering by the besiegers, and redoubled firing by the enemy. In the course of the day we saw the rajah for the first time: he was on the shabroodge, or royal bastion, with his suite, reconnoitring with a spy-glass. The officer commanding the howitzer battery laid a shell for the shabroodge, which struck the very top of it, and soon dislodged his highness and suite. In a moment not a soul was to be seen. On this bastion was an enormous gun, about a seventy-two-pounder, which before had been laid up in embryo, but which, as a mark of revenge for our having disturbed his highness, was now got ready. From its gigantic size they could not depress it sufficiently to bear upon our batteries, or it must have torn them to pieces. At last off it went; the report was like that of an earthquake, but the ball went a good quarter of a mile over us. Several other shots were, in the course of the day, fired from it, but the balls never came nearer. Our soldiers, finding it did no harm, christened it Civil Tom; but, from the enormous dust it kicked up, the enemy thought it did wonders for some time; until, at last, finding out their mistake, they turned its gigantic muzzle towards camp, and actually threw a ball close to the flag opposite Lord Lake's tent, more than two miles from the fort. The only real mischief Civil Tom ever did (which, by the by, was rather uncivil) was killing a poor water-carrier's bullock, and carrying away the poor man's right arm. This was more than a mile from camp.

The night passed away without anything of moment, we still keeping up a regular and constant fire, to prevent the enemy from rebuilding what we had had so much trouble in knocking down, and at times indulging them with a few whistling shells to keep them awake.

We now began to grow impatient to see what was inside this boasting fort, for we had pretty well seen what was outside. The breach soon began to wear a stormable appearance, when we discovered that they had thrown out two small guns for the purpose of a cross fire and cutting off our storming party, and to annoy and rake our breaching-battery. For removing this evil we threw out two six-pounders, and we had not fired many shots and given them more than a dozen shrapnells, when a tremendous explosion took place, which finally removed the annoyance.

In the evening I heard the engineer say to Captain Nelley, commanding the breaching-battery, that he imagined we should, on the following evening, put a stop to their vaunting. "The next evening!" I muttered to myself. I was standing close to Captain Nelley, who turned round to me and said, "Shipp, how do you like that information?" I replied, "I wish it was this night, Sir." This I did wish most sincerely, for I felt that, having once resolved to undertake the desperate service in which I had volunteered, the sooner I was in action the better.

"Between the acting of a dreadful thing,
And the first motion, all the interim is
Like a phantasma, or a hideous dream;
The genius and the mortal instruments
Are then in council; and the state of man,
Like to a little kingdom, suffers then
The nature of an insurrection."

I have heard some men say that they would as soon fight as eat their breakfasts; and others, that they "dearly loved fighting." If this were true, what bloodthirsty dogs they must be! But I should be almost illiberal enough to suspect these boasters of not possessing even ordinary courage. I will not, however, go so far as positively to assert this, but will content myself by asking these terrific soldiers to account to me why, some hours previously to storming a fort, or fighting a battle, are men pensive, thoughtful, heavy, restless, weighed down with apparent solicitude and care? Why do men, on these occasions, more fervently beseech the divine protection and guidance, to save them in the approaching conflict? Are not all these feelings the result of reflection, and of man's regard for his dearest care—his life, which no mortal will part with if he can avoid it? There are periods in war which put man's courage to a severe test: if, for instance, as was my case, I knew I was to lead a forlorn hope on the following evening, innumerable ideas will rush in quick succession on the mind; such as, "For aught my poor and narrow comprehension can tell, I may to-morrow be summoned before my Maker?" "How have I spent the life he has been pleased to preserve to this period? Can I meet that just tribunal?" A man, situated as I have supposed, who did not, even amid the cannon's roar and the din of war, experience anxieties approaching to what I have described, may, by possibility, have the courage of a lion, but he cannot possess the feelings of a man. In action man is quite another being: the softer feelings of the roused heart are absorbed in the vortex of danger, and the necessity for self-preservation, and give place to others more adapted to the occasion. In these moments there is an indescribable elation of spirits; the soul rises above its wonted serenity into a kind of frenzied apathy to the scene before you—a heroism bordering on ferocity; the nerves become tight and contracted; the eye full and open, moving quickly in its socket, with almost maniac wildness: the head is in constant motion; the nostril extended wide, and the mouth apparently gasping. If an artist could truly delineate the features of a soldier in the battle's heat, and compare them with the lineaments of the same man in the peaceful calm of domestic life, they would be found to be two different portraits; but a sketch of this kind is not within the power of art, for in action the countenance varies with the battle: as the battle brightens, so does the countenance; and, as it lowers, so the countenance becomes gloomy. I have known some men drink enormous quantities of spirituous liquors when going into action, to drive away little intruding thoughts, and to create false spirits; but these are as short-lived as the ephemera that struggles but a moment on the crystal stream, then dies. If a man have not natural courage, he may rest assured that liquor will deaden and destroy the little he may possess.

Our two companies were relieved for the night, for the purpose of resting ourselves and preparing for the ensuing evening's attack. On this occasion one of our poor fellows was killed by a shot from the fort, and he was ordered to be immediately buried. When we were about to leave the trenches we found him still lying there, when the sergeant was called, and asked by his officer, why he had not been buried, according to orders. The sergeant, an Irishman, answered, "Faith! your honour, he has grown so mighty stiff since he went dead, that he would neither ride nor walk; he threw himself off my back twice; but I am just after ordering a fatigue-party to march him there, whether he will or not."

The same sergeant was chided a short time before for shooting an unarmed man. His officer told him it was a cowardly act to shoot a poor fellow without arms. "Arms! your honour, I beg your honour's pardon, he had two; ay, faith, and fists at the end of them; and he was just after going to be mighty saucy besides. Besides, your honour, did not a spalpeen shoot at and hit me at Deig, without so much as bidding me the time of the morning, or by your lave, or with your lave? Fait! they must expect no palaveration or blarney from Dennis Gaffen." To relate the anecdotes of this man would fill a volume; but, as the two little ones mentioned may bear the reading, I will insert a few more in their proper places.

I slept soundly, and early in the morning commenced cleaning and new-flinting my musket, and pointing my bayonet, that it might find its way through the thick cotton-stuffed coats of our enemies. All Mussulman soldiers wear these coats during winter. The cotton is about two inches thick, and the coats are worn rather loose, so that you can with difficulty cut through them; and I am persuaded that many of them are ball-proof, and that bayonets and spears are the only weapons against them. In the course of the day I walked down to the batteries, to well ascertain the road I had to take to the breaches. Our batteries continued, with unabated exertions, to knock off the defences; and everything, from appearances, seemed calculated to insure complete success. My heart was all alive this day, and I wished for the sombre garments of night. This was the 9th day of January, 1805. The greatest secrecy was observed as to the storming party; no general orders were issued, nor was there any stir or bustle till the hour appointed—nine o'clock. Orders and arrangements were communicated to officers commanding regiments and companies, and in the same private manner conveyed to us. The gun fired as usual at eight o'clock. This was the signal to move out. I kissed and took leave of my favourite pony, Apple, and dog, Wolf, and I went to my post at the head of the column, with my little band of heroes, twelve volunteers from the different corps of the army. Reader, you may believe me when I assure you, that at this critical juncture everything else was forgotten in the enthusiasm of the moment, except the contemplation of the honourable post confided to me. "What!" thought I, "I, a youth, at the head of an Indian army!" I began to think it presumption, when so many more experienced soldiers filled the ranks behind. I thought that every eye was upon me, and I did not regret the pitchy darkness of the night, which hid my blushing countenance. All was still as the grave, when I distinctly heard somebody call, "Sergeant Shipp!" This was Lieutenant-Colonel Salkeld, adjutant-general of the army, who brought with him a golundauze, who had deserted from the fort, and who, for filthy lucre, was willing to betray his countrymen. This man was handed over to me, he having undertaken to lead me to the breach. If he attempted to deceive me, or to run from me, I had positive orders to shoot him; consequently, I kept a sharp look-out on him. We then, in solemn silence, marched down to the trenches, and remained there about half an hour, when we marched to the attack in open columns of sections, the two flank companies of the 22nd leading, supported by the 75th and 76th European regiments, and other native infantry. I took the precaution of tying a rope round the wrist of my guide, that he might not escape; for, firing at him at that moment would have alarmed the fort. Not a word was to be heard; but the cannon's rattling drowned many a deep-drawn sigh, from many as brave a heart.

I was well supported, having my own two companies behind me. Colonel Maitland, of his majesty's 76th regiment, commanded this storming-party, and brave little Major Archibald Campbell his corps. The former officer came in front to me, and pointed out the road to glory; but, observing the native whom I had in charge, he asked who he was; and, on being informed, said, "We can find the way without him; let him go about his business." I remonstrated, and repeated to him the instructions I had received; but his answer was, "I don't care; if you don't obey my orders, I will send you to the rear." I did obey, and on we moved to the attack. Immediately behind me were pioneers, carrying gabions and fascines to fill up any cavities we might meet with. The enemy did not discover our approach till within fifty paces of the ditch, when a tremendous cannonade and peals of musketry commenced: rockets were flying in all directions; blue lights were hoisted; and the fort seemed convulsed to its very foundation. Its ramparts seemed like some great volcano vomiting tremendous volumes of fiery matter; the roaring of the great guns shook the earth beneath our feet; their small arms seemed like the rolling of ten thousand drums; and their war trumpets rent the air asunder. Men were seen skipping along the lighted ramparts, as busy as emmets collecting stores for the dreary days of winter. The scene was awfully grand, and must have been sublimely beautiful to the distant spectator.

We pushed on at speed, but were soon obliged to halt. A ditch, about twenty yards wide, and four or five deep, branched off from the main trench. This ditch formed a small island, on which were posted a strong party of the enemy, with two guns. Their fire was well directed, and the front of our column suffered severely. The fascines and gabions were thrown in; but they were as a drop of water in the mighty deep: the fire became hotter, and my little band of heroes plunged into the water, followed by our two companies, and part of the 75th regiment. The middle of the column broke off, and got too far down to the left; but we soon cleared the little island. At this time Colonel Maitland and Major Campbell joined me, with our brave officers of the two companies, and many of the other corps. I proposed following the fugitives; but our duty was to gain the breach, our orders being confined to that object. We did gain it; but, imagine our surprise and consternation, when we found a perpendicular curtain going down to the water's edge, and no footing, except on pieces of trees and stones that had fallen from above. This could not bear more than three men a-breast, and if they slipped—which many did—a watery grave awaited them, for the water was extremely deep here. Close on our right was a large bastion, which the enemy had judiciously hung with dead underwood. This was fired, and it threw such a light upon the breach, that it was as clear as noonday. They soon got guns to bear on us, and the first shot (which was grape) shot Colonel Maitland dead, wounded Major Campbell in the hip or leg, me in the right shoulder, and completely cleared the remaining few of my little party. We had at that moment reached the top of the breach, not more, as I before stated, than three a-breast, when we found that the enemy had completely repaired that, by driving in large pieces of wood, stakes, stones, bushes, and pointed bamboos, through the crevices of which was a mass of spears jobbing diagonally, which seemed to move by mechanism. Such was the footing we had, that it was utterly impossible to approach these formidable weapons; meantime, small spears or darts were hurled at us; and stones, lumps of wood, stink-pots, and bundles of lighted straw, thrown upon us. In the midst of this tumult, I got one of my legs through a hole, so that I could see into the interior of the fort. The people were like a swarm of bees. In a moment I felt something seize my foot; I pulled with all my might, and at last succeeded in disengaging my leg, but leaving my boot behind me. Our establishing ourselves on this breach in sufficient force to dislodge this mass of spearsmen, was physically impossible. Our poor fellows were mowed down like corn-fields, without the slightest hope of success. The rear of the column suffered much, as they were within range of the enemy's shot. A retreat was ordered, and we were again obliged to take to the water; and many a poor wounded soldier lost his life in this attempt. Not one of our officers escaped without being wounded, and Lieutenant Creswell was almost cut to pieces. We, as may be supposed, returned almost broken-hearted at this our first failure in India. Our loss was a melancholy one; and the conviction that the poor wounded fellows we were compelled to leave behind would be barbarously massacred, incited our brave boys to beg a second attempt. This was denied: had it been granted, it must infallibly have proved abortive; for there was, literally, no breach. The disastrous issue of our attack caused the enemy to exult exceedingly; and the shouting and roaring that followed our retreat, were daggers in the souls of our wounded and disappointed soldiers, who were with difficulty restrained from again rushing to the breach. I found that I had received a spear-wound in the right finger, and several little scratches from the combustibles they fired at us. Pieces of copper coin, as well as of iron, stone, and glass, were extracted from the wounds of those who were fortunate enough to escape. We were, in the course of the night, relieved, and went to our lines to brood over our misfortunes.

I found, the next morning, to add to my feelings of distress, that the old wound in my head had opened afresh; the wound on my shoulder, having injured the bone, was also extremely painful; but that on my finger, being a flesh-wound, did not trouble me much. The general orders of the day following were highly flattering to us all, placing the blame, if any, where it ought to be. Our engineer, finding the spot we had attempted strong and impracticable, changed his position more to the eastward, where the difficulties were not so formidable. During these new operations, our breaching-guns, four in number, were sent to the park to be re-bushed, their bushes having been injured from the constant firing and heat.

Thus ended our first attempt to take the strong fortress of Bhurtpore by storm.