Sir Roger Casement, it appears, landed in Ireland from a collapsible boat. And by a strange coincidence his arrival synchronised with the outbreak of a collapsible rebellion.

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Hard soap can now be obtained in Germany only by those who purchase bread tickets. The soft variety cannot be obtained at all, the whole supply, it seems, having been commandeered by the Imperial Government for export to the United States.

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£175 worth of radium was lost last week in Dundee. The ease with which bar radium can be melted down and remoulded in the form of cheap jewellery affords, according to the local police, a clear indication that this was the work of thieves.

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A conscientious objector has stated that he had even given up fishing on humanitarian grounds. We fear that his fish stories may have caused some fatal attacks of apoplexy among his audiences.

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According to Sir Thomas Barlow "the importation of bananas has had a far-reaching effect on the digestion of our children." Only last Monday week the importation of six bananas had just that kind of effect on the digestion of our own dear little Percy.

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Portugal has decided to expel German sympathisers of whatever nationality. Other clubs please copy.

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From the Eastern Counties comes news that in last week's Zeppelin raid twenty turnips were "completely destroyed." And so the grim work of starving England into submission goes relentlessly on.

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"That boy there," said the Lord Mayor at the Mansion House, in addressing some children from an orphanage, "can easily become a Lord Mayor." Cases of this sort are really not hard to diagnose when you are familiar with the symptoms, and the Lord Mayor had, of course, noticed the hearty manner in which the lad was attacking his food.

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The latest Shakspearean discovery announced by Sir Sidney Lee is that the Bard was a successful man of business; but the really nice people who have lately taken him up have resolved not to let the fact prejudice them against him after all these years.

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"Absence of the Polecat from Ireland" is the title of a vigorous article in the current number of The Field. While agreeing in substance with the writer, we cannot refrain from commenting on this unexpected departure of a peculiarly moderate organ from its customary restraint in dealing with the political questions of the day.

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The Editor of The Angler's News makes public the request that fishermen will provide him with the particulars of any exceptionally big fish which they may catch. Strangely enough he does not suggest that the data should be accompanied, for purposes of verification, by the fish themselves. It is refreshing to know that there is a man left here and there who is not trying to make something out of the War.

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One of the Zeppelins that recently visited England dropped one hundred bombs without causing a single casualty, and a movement is on foot to present the Commander with a pair of white gloves.

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"What I wish to show Mr. Norman," says Mr. G. K. Chesterton in The New Witness, "is that the fantastic pursuit of the idÉe fixe ... leads to a reductio ad absurdum." One has often had occasion to notice the rapidity with which a young idÉe fixe will dart down a convenient reductio ad absurdum when closely pursued.

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A writer in the current number of The Fortnightly Review has elaborated the theory that the War can be won without difficulty by breaking through the German line in the West. It is the ability to grasp these simple but fundamental truths that distinguishes the military genius from the War Office hack.

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The majority of the larger railways have now announced their intention of serving no more meals on trains. While the reason has not been officially stated the authorities are said to be of the opinion that Zeppelins have on several occasions been able to reach important termini by following the smell of cookery.

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The Perils of the Tyne.

"A ship's apprentice who attempted the rescue of a man in shark-infested waters to-day, at Newcastle, received the Shipping Federation's diploma and medal."

Morning Paper.

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The Infallible Experts.

"In general (continued Count Andrassy), the battle has ceased to be of the nature of a siege, as it was intended to be at the beginning. It is a long-drawn-out and deadly combat between the French and German armies, and the victory of one will undoubtedly be the defeat of the other."—Yorkshire Post.

"It is a reasonable conclusion from these facts that ... the principal attack, supposing that it should actually have taken place, has already been made."

Col. Feyler in "The Sunday Times."

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Delphinium Hybrids.

"What looks much handsomer than a sow of Delphiniums in the borders of your garden, and once planted they are always there."—Garden Work for Amateurs.

The only drawback is that it is apt to make such a litter.

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"Before we are through with it, we may be obliged to have a war outright with Mexico, because the Defacto Government is none too friendly to us."—Bournemouth Guardian.

It is not perhaps generally known that President Defacto is a direct descendant of that well-known ruler, SeÑor A. Priori.

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"Outside Dublin the county is tranquil. Mr. Asquith, and three minor cases of disturbance are reported."—Evening News.

We deprecate this attempt to import political prejudice into the situation.

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"Two ladies obliged to remain in furnished house, Bournemouth, till let, offer free weekly accommodation to middle-aged healthy lady and dog in difficulties through war."

The Common Cause.

Even the pets are feeling the pinch of the Common Cause.

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THE DIVINER.

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