The Volunteers have at last been recognised. There has been nothing like it since the great recognition-scene in Electra.
The case has been reported of a Stepney child which has developed a disease of the brain, as the result of an air raid. Similar cases are said to have been observed in the neighbourhood of Fleet Street.
It now transpires that the music of St. Paul's Cathedral emanates from an organ of German construction. There seems to be some doubt as to whether an explanation is due from The Westminster Gazette or The Times.
The mysterious shortage of butter in Germany, which has resulted in measures being drafted limiting the consumption to 4 ozs. per week per adult, is now explained. Count von Bernstorff has used up all the available supplies on Congress.
The General Omnibus Company has made the announcement that it will not employ any women drivers for its omnibuses. The company's officers fear that if women were so employed there would be an absence of that racy repartee which alone prevents traffic from reaching a condition of indescribable congestion.
The demand for second-hand pianos now for the first time in the history of the trade far exceeds the supply. It is not only in Germany that War and frightfulness go hand-in-hand.
The capture of Mush by the Russian army of the Caucasus is an event the importance of which has not been fully recognized. It is undoubtedly the place from which the Turkish official reports of victory have been issued.
The Marconi Company have announced that "deferred plain language telegrams" will again be received. More truckling to the Tory Press!
A traveller returning from East Africa reports that, notwithstanding the military operations that are taking place in various parts of the country, rhinoceroses appear to be increasing in numbers. It is explained that the falling-off in the European demand for potted reed birds is responsible for the phenomenon.
It is announced that the Cabinet are to take a portion of their salaries in Exchequer Bonds. Not to be outdone the members of the Reichstag are said to have agreed to soil their fingers with dirty British gold rather than hinder the German Government's operations for correcting the depreciation of the mark.
The suggestion has been put forward that, as a timely War economy, well-to-do people should give up their hot-houses. There seems to be a division of opinion, however, as to whether the hot-house plants should be given their liberty, or (as economy would seem to dictate) be killed for the table.
Australia has suspended the trade-marks of 450 German articles. It would be interesting to know if the most historic German trade-mark, "Made in the United States," is among these.
"Mr. Julian Kimball (of Covent Garden and the London Opera House)," says the Musical critic of The Daily Mail, "is a singer you can watch as well as listen to." The desirability of concealing the faces of some of our principal singers in the past is undoubtedly one of the reasons why England has lagged behind in the musical art.
A well-known candidate for the East Herts Division is said to be urgently in need of motor cars. His opponents however point out that the need to economise in petrol was never more urgent than at present.
Speaking on the question of the shortage of freights Mr. Runciman stated, a few days ago, that he did not know that ostrich feathers took up much room. Has he never been to a matinÉe?
In the same connection a member of the Ladies' Kennel Club writes: "I let them take my husband for their horrid old War without grumbling, but when they tell me that poor little Nanki-Poo can't have his ostrich-feather pillow to lie on I think it is too much!"
Midget (as he comes to). "I expect the War's been a bit bad for your regular business, Mister?"
Second. "Not it. The boot-makin' trade's as good as ever."
Midget. "Oh, you're a boot-maker, are you? Funny—I made certain you was a cab-washer."
"The profits of the Bradford Dyers' Association exceed the most sanguinary expectations."
Morning Paper.
The influence of the War, again.
S.P.C.A., please note.
"Dogs are generally from 9 to 18 inches long and the teeth from 3 to 8 inches long; the service pattern are from 12 to 15 inches long with 6 inch teeth. For straight dogs the ends of the teeth should be slightly further apart than at their root. Dogs when heated red-hot can be twisted till their teeth make any required angle with each other, generally a right angle; they are then known as skew dogs."
Military Engineering.
"The offensive eggs were first placed in a mangle, and the slow, crude, and obnoxious process was gone through of crushing them. The pugnacity of the smell arising from this progress became appalling."—Grocers' Journal.
Fit to knock one down, in fact.
"Lady, 45, domesticated, Protestant, furniture, wishes Correspondence with Respectable Widower and Bachelor; view matrimony."—Southport Visitor.
One of the two gentlemen will have to be content with the furniture.
