Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 5, 1916

RESOLUTIONS.

Various

I will not breakfast in my bed

With downy cushions at my head;

That would be very wrong—and so

Away the eggs and bacon go!

I will not read in bed at night

And burn the dear electric light;

Nor buy another costly hat;

Oh no! I'm much too good for that.

But I will rise before the dawn

And weed and cut and roll the lawn;

My border I will plant with veg,

Abundantly from hedge to hedge.

And all the day I'll practise thrift

And no more happily will drift

In deeper debt, as once, alas!

—But what an awful year I'll pass.

The Art of Sinking.

"Altogether we sank one gunboat, five steamers (one of 3,000 tons), and 17 large sailing ships, three trains, and one railway embankment."—Manchester Guardian.

Very Light Marching Order.

From a notice issued to recruits for the New Zealand Expeditionary Force:—

"You should report wearing a pair of serviceable boots, and bring with you your toilet outfit—no additional clothing is required."

"In a conversation with members of the Press Mr. Ford said now was the time for peace on the basis of the status quo anti bellum.
Scotch Paper.

He always spells it that way.

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