  The Turks are now reported to be retiring through the desert, and the Germans are realising that you may take a horse to the place where there's no water, but you cannot make him drink. "Rapid progress," we read, "is being made in the American movement to supply soldiers at the battle fronts in Europe with Bibles printed in their own languages." We trust that one will be supplied to the Kaiser, who, if he ever had one, has evidently mislaid it. Suggested title for Germany and her allies—The Hunseatic League. The Vossische Zeitung, talking of the proposed blockade, says, "The dance will begin on February 18." Germania's toe may not be light, but it is fantastic. You may know a man by the company he keeps. The Kaiser's friends are now the Jolly Roger and Sir Roger Casement. Messrs. Hagenbeck, of Hamburg, are sending Major Mehring, the German Commandant at Valenciennes, an elephant. So we may expect shortly to be told by wireless that a large Indian body has gone over to the Germans. Earl Grey, speaking at Newcastle on the War, said that a German passenger on the Vaterland remarked to him, "Can you wonder that we hunger? We have been hungry for two hundred years and only had one satisfying meal—in 1870. We have become hungry again." The pity, of course, is that so few Germans can eat quite like gentlemen. The Dorsets, we are told, have nicknamed their body belts "the dado round the dining-room." In the whirligig of fashion the freeze is now being ousted by its predecessor. Much of the credit for the admirable feeding of our Expeditionary Force is due, we learn, to Brigadier-General Long, the Director of Supplies. As a caustic Tommy, pointing to his "dining-room," remarked, "one wants but little here below, but wants that little Long." The Deutsche Tageszeitung informs its readers that "the men of the North Lancashire Regiment recently attempted to force a swarm of bees to attack German soldiers, but the bees turned on the British and severely stung one hundred and twenty of them." After this success it is reported that the Death's Head Hussars are adopting a wasp as a regimental pet. Talking of regimental pets, the lucky recipient of Princess Mary's Christmas gift that was packed by the Queen is Private Pet, of the Leinster Regiment. With reference to the private view of a collapsible hut at the College of Ambulance last week it is only fair to say that there is good reason to believe that not a few of those already erected will shortly come under this description. The Russian Minister of Finance, M. Bark, paid a visit to this country last week, and it is rumoured that he had an interview with another financial magnate, Mr. Beit, with a view to forming an ideal combination. Says an advertisement of the Blue Cross Fund:—"All horses cared for. Nationality not considered." This must save the Fund's interpreters a good deal of trouble. The Corporation of the City of London reports that diminished lighting, so far from increasing the dangers of the City streets, has reduced them, the accidents during the past quarter being only 331 as compared with 375 a year ago. However, a proposal that the lights shall now be entirely extinguished with a view to reducing the casualties to nil has not yet been adopted. A gentleman has written to The Globe to complain that at Charing Cross Station there are signs printed in German indicating the whereabouts of the booking-office, waiting-room, etc. We certainly think that, while we are at war, these ought, so as to confuse the enemy, to point in wrong directions. Germany is now suffering from extreme cold, and the advice to German housewives to cook potatoes in their jackets is presumably a measure of humanity. To Mr. Watt's enquiry in the House as to how many German submarines had been destroyed, Mr. Churchill replied, "The German Government has made no return." Let us hope that this is true also of a good few of the submarines. Der Tag, it is announced, is to be withdrawn from the Coliseum. They could do with it, we believe, in Germany. Theatrical folk will be interested to hear that in the Eastern Theatre of War there has been furious fighting for the passes. Turk. "I say, you fellows! Do you see the other Allies are pooling their Funds? Capital idea!"
Are we to understand, that, so far, we have only called out the socks and body-belts?
Without wishing to be needlessly offensive to either of these bodies, we venture to suggest that they should combine their deliberations.
The land police must be guarded even more vigorously if "no copper at all" is to slip over. |
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