In view of the grave importance of the present political situation, the price of Punch will remain as heretofore.
"The risk of flying is very greatly exaggerated," says Mr. Winston Churchill. Then why funk a General Election?
Some people have such a nasty way of putting things! Liberal gentleman to Unionist gentleman: "Well, have you taken the pledge?"
Attempts are now being made to establish penny postage between England and France. The Germans are said to feel flattered that we should still consider the privilege of corresponding with them worth two-pence-halfpenny.
The public indignation against the woman who damaged the "Rokeby Venus" continues unabated, and most inhuman propositions are being made. One gentleman has even been heard to suggest that the woman ought to be made to serve her term of imprisonment in the Royal Academy.
General Villa's statement that, unless the ransom he demands is paid at once, he will expose the body of the son of General Terrazas to the fire of the Federals confirms the opinion prevalent in this country that General Villa is not really a very nice man.
"THE BENTON INQUIRY
PROMISE THAT JUSTICE WILL BE EXECUTED."
Observer.
We were under the impression that this execution had taken place, some time since in Mexico, for Justice has not been seen there for a long time.
A Norfolk doctor declares that the sting of a bee is a most effective cure for both rheumatism and sciatica. It is also an infallible cure for inertia.
The yearly volume of judicial statistics just issued shows a marked decrease in business in all the courts except the Divorce Court; and there is some talk of the legal profession erecting a statue of a co-respondent as a mark of their appreciation.
Persons who like to be seen reading a two-penny newspaper are now in a quandary since the price of The Times has been reduced, and it is again rumoured that, in order to cater for this class, an unsuccessful halfpenny paper is about to raise its price to twopence.
Sussex has been suffering from an epidemic of sheep-stealing. The police theory is that the sheep are carried off at night in motor cars—the silly creatures, accepting with alacrity the novel offer of a ride in an automobile.
Several prominent authors having stated that their best ideas come to them while taking a tub, quite a number of unsuccessful scribes have, we hear, almost made up their minds to the experiment of one bath a week.
In an Introductory Note to the serial publication of The Woman Thou Gavest Me, entitled "Why I wrote the Story," the Master attempts to shift the blame—or, anyhow, to apportion the responsibility. One day, it seems, Mr. Caine heard the story which forms the basis of the novel. He first told it to a Cabinet Minister, who was "visibly touched." He next tried it on a tailor, who was "just as obviously affected." Then comes this delicious passage:—"After that I called on my publisher and, not being able to get the story out of my thoughts, I told it to him as well. His eyes filled, his head dropped, and he was as deeply touched as I and the tailor and the Cabinet Minister had been." It is generally understood that Mr. Heinemann has since had a complete recovery.
LOOKING WELL FORWARD.
First Survivor from Wreck (to Second Survivor.) "'Ow much ought we to ask off the music-'alls when we get back—'undred-an'-fifty quid a week or two 'undred?"
"Owing to the number of rats and crickets in her bedroom a nurse employed by the Dudley Board of Guardians, it was stated at the meeting of the board yesterday, had resigned.
"It was decided to engage a professional rat-catcher."—Daily Mail.
It is, however, not altogether satisfactory to be nursed by a professional rat-catcher, and some of the patients are already complaining most bitterly of the change.
