The Troubles of the Ottleys

'Bruce', said Edith, 'you won't forget we're dining with your people tonight?'

'It's a great nuisance.'

'Oh, Bruce!'

'It's such an infernally long way.'

'It's only to Kensington.'

'West Kensington. It's off the map. I'm not an explorer—I don't pretend to be.' He paused a moment, then went on, 'And it's not only the frightful distance and the expense of getting there, but when I do get there…. Do you consider that my people treat me with proper deference?'

'With proper what?' asked Edith.

'Deference. I admit I like deference. I need it—I require it; and at my people's—well, frankly, I don't get it.'

'If you need it,' said Edith, 'I hope you will get it. But remember they are your father and mother.'

'What do you mean by that?'

'Well, I mean they know you very well, of course … and all that.'

'Do you imply…?'

'Oh, no, Bruce dear,' she answered hastily; 'of course I don't. But really I think your people are charming'

'To you I know they are,' said he. 'It's all very well for you. They are awfully fond of you. You and my mother can talk about Archie and his nurse and housekeeping and fashions, and it's very jolly for you, but where's the fun for a man of the world?'

'Your father—' began Edith.

'My father!' Bruce took a turn round the room. 'I don't mind telling you, Edith, I don't consider my father a man of the world. Why, good heavens! when we are alone together, what do you suppose he talks about? He complains! Finds fault, if you please! Says I don't work—makes out I'm extravagant! Have you ever found me extravagant?'

'No, indeed. I'm sure you've never been extravagant—to me.'

'He's not on my level intellectually in any way. I doubt very much if he's capable of understanding me at all. Still, I suppose we might as well go and get it over. My people's dinners are a most awful bore to me.'

'How would you like it,' said Edith gently, 'if some day Archie were to call us my people, and talk about us as you do of yours?'

'Archie!' shouted Bruce. 'Good heavens! Archie!' Bruce held out his arm with a magnificent gesture. 'If Archie ever treats me with any want of proper deference, I shall cut him off with a shilling!'

'Do give me the shilling for him now,' said Edith laughing.

The elder Mrs Ottley was a sweet woman, with a resigned smile and a sense of humour. She had a great admiration for Edith, who was very fond of her. No-one else was there on this occasion. Bruce always complained equally, regarding it as a slight if they were asked alone, and a bore if it was a dinner party. The elder Mr Ottley was considerably older than his wife, and was a handsome, clean-shaven elderly man with a hooked nose and a dry manner. The conversation at dinner consisted of vague attempts on Bruce's part to talk airy generalities, which were always brought back by his father to personalities more or less unflattering to Bruce.

Edith and Mrs Ottley, fearing an explosion, which happened rather frequently when Bruce and his father were together, combined their united energy to ward it off.

'And what do you intend the boy to be when he grows up?' asked old Mr
Ottley. 'Are you going to make him a useful member of society, or a
Foreign Office clerk?'

'I intend my son,' said Bruce—'(a little port, please. Thanks.)—I intend my son to be a Man of the World.'

His father gave a slight snort.

'Be very careful,' said Mrs Ottley to Edith, 'not to let the darling catch cold in his perambulator this weather. Spring is so treacherous!'

'Does he seem to show any particular bent for anything? I suppose hardly—yet?'

'Well, he's very fond of soldiers,' said Edith.

'Ah!' said Mr Ottley approvingly; 'what we want for empire-building is conscription. Every fellow ought to be a soldier some time in his life. It makes men of them '—he glanced round rather contemptuously—'it teaches them discipline.'

'I don't mean,' said Edith hastily, 'that he wants to be a soldier. But he likes playing with them. He takes them to bed with him. It is as much as I can do to keep him from eating them.'

'The angel!' said Mrs Ottley.

'You must be careful about that, Edith,' said Bruce solemnly. 'I understand red paint is poisonous.'

'It won't hurt him,' said old Mr Ottley, purely from a spirit of contradiction.

'But he's just as fond of animals,' said Edith quickly, to avert a storm. 'That Noah's Ark you gave him is his greatest pleasure. He's always putting the animals in and taking them out again.'

'Oh, the clever darling!' cried Mrs Ottley. 'You'd hardly believe it, Edith, but Bruce was like that when he was a little boy too. He used to—'

'Oh mother, do shut up!' said Bruce shame-facedly.

'Well, he was very clever,' said Mrs Ottley defiantly. 'You'd hardly think so now perhaps, but the things that child used to say!'

'Don't spoil Archie as his mother spoilt Bruce,' said Mr. Ottley.

'Have you seen the new play at His Majesty's?' asked Bruce.

'No, I haven't. I went to the theatre last year,' said old Mr Ottley. 'I haven't heaps of money to spend on superfluous amusements.'

'Bruce, you're not eating anything,' said Mrs Ottley anxiously. 'Do try some of these almonds and raisins. They're so good! I always get almonds and raisins at Harrod's now.'

Edith seemed much interested, and warmly assented to the simple proposition that they were the best almonds and raisins in the world.

The ladies retired.

'Most trying Mr Ottley's been lately,' said Mrs Ottley. 'Extremely worrying. Do you suppose I have had a single instant to go and order a new bonnet? Not a second! Has Bruce been tiresome at all?'

'Oh, no, he doesn't mean to be,' said Edith.

Mrs Ottley pressed her hand. 'Darling I know what it is. What a sweet dress! You have the most perfect taste. I don't care what people say, those Empire dresses are most trying. I think you're so right not to give in to it as so many young women are doing. Fashion indeed! Hiding your waist under a bushel instead of being humbly thankful that you've got one! Archie is the sweetest darling. I see very little likeness to Bruce, or his father. I think he takes after my family, with a great look of you, dear. Most unfortunately, his father thinks Bruce is a little selfish … too fond of pleasure. But he's a great deal at home, isn't he, dear?'

'Yes, indeed,' said Edith, with a slight sigh. 'I think it's only that he's always been a little bit spoilt. No wonder, the only son! But he's a great dear, really.'

His mother shook her head. 'Dear loyal girl! I used to be like that too. May I give you a slight hint? Never contradict. Never oppose him. Agree with him, then he'll change his mind; or if he doesn't, say you'll do as he wishes, and act afterwards in the matter as your own judgement dictates. He'll never find it out. What's that?'

A door banged, hasty steps were heard. Bruce came into the drawing-room alone, looking slightly flushed and agitated.

'Where's your father?' asked Mrs Ottley.

'Gone to his study…. We'd better be getting home, Edith.'

Edith and Mrs Ottley exchanged glances. They had not been able to prevent the explosion after all.