How to kiss—The act fully described—Size of the mouth to be considered—Large mouths and those of the rose-bud sort—The girl who claws and struggles—Poetical directions—Dangers of hugging—Tapping the lips of a Mexican senorita—Kissing a Chinese girl—How to receive a kiss—Long-remembered kisses—The kiss in betrothal and marriage.

Having at least learned something as to the nature of a kiss, let us seek information on how to kiss. There are various general directions; the gentleman must be taller than the lady he intends to kiss. Take her right hand in yours and draw her gently to you; pass your left hand over her right shoulder, diagonally down across her back, under her left arm; press her to your bosom, at the same time she will throw her head back and you have nothing to do but lean a little forward and press your lips to hers, and then the thing is done. Don’t make a noise over it as if you were firing off shooting crackers, or pounce upon it like a hungry hawk upon an innocent dove, but gently fold the damsel in your arms without smashing her standing collar or spoiling her curls, and by a sweet pressure upon her mouth, revel in the blissfulness of your situation without smacking your lips on it as you would over a glass of beer. It might be well at the conclusion of the operation to ask the young woman if it was satisfactory, for we are never satisfied that a lady understands a kiss unless we have it from her own mouth.

A Kentucky authority insists that a man must be in humor for the business; you want to get the idea into your head that the girl is just dying to be kissed by you and is only waiting for you to make the break. Then you want to take a good view of her mouth and see just how much of it you can take in. If she has a regular rose-bud mouth, why, take it all in and throw your whole soul into one kiss, but if her mouth has the appearance of a landscape cut in two by a waterless river, then the safest plan is to take in the corners and byways, and sort of divide your kiss into sections. Most girls have no end of cheek, therefore a fellow can seldom miss fire in kissing a girl on the cheek. Do not kiss her ear as nine cases out of ten the girl will make a slight dodge so as to impress you with the idea that you are really surprising her in your action; the result is you miss the ear, kiss her hair and get your mouth full of ten-cent hair oil. Only actors kiss on the brow. If a girl has a pretty mouth kiss it every time, but if her mouth is so large that you endanger your life by getting too near it, then resort to the next best thing and kiss her on the cheek.

We repeat, to kiss a woman properly the size of her mouth must be carefully gauged before proceeding to the work. Large mouths put a man to the severest test; he will be driven to his wit’s end whether to begin at one corner and conclude on the other, or to make a heroic dash at the middle and endeavor to reach both corners. The heroic dash is considered by students in the art of kissing to be the best, for it takes the least amount of time, and allowance should always be made for the struggle to get away from the kisser which, albeit only a mock effort, might inadvertently prove successful. Delicately-formed mouths with rounded lips and of a velvety color are the easiest to kiss, and most submissive.

You must never kiss a young girl if she doesn’t want you to. The main ingredient that makes kissing endurable is a willingness on the part of the female. If it deepens into anxiety so much the better. When a girl claws a man’s hair and scratches his face like a little fool drop her at once. As long as the girl doesn’t claw and yell and struggle like a panther, it is perfectly safe to continue prospecting. If you are just beginning to teach a shy girl, who has only been kissed heretofore by her brothers and father, touch your lips gently to her forehead. She will take this as an exhibition of profound respect. That position gained, working the way down to the lips is as natural and easy as the course of a log sliding down the wood flume of a lumber company.

A popular comic song with the imperative title of “Sock her on the kisser” states that when a man falls in love with a little turtle-dove “he will linger all around her under-jaw” and goes on, in a chorus, to give directions, to wit:

That rhyme will do for the “gallery gods”; those in the orchestra seats will appreciate the following:

Of course hugging is often a legitimate part of kissing. A Western writer has given us a humorous account of the dangers of hugging. He claims that hugging is a comparatively modern institution and draws the line between the hug and the embrace. The hug is an earnest, quick, impetuous contraction of the muscles of the arms and the chest when the object to be hugged lies within the circle bounded by the arms, while the chest is the goal or final point of the hug. The warmth of the hug is determined by the extent of the muscular contraction. But the hug is not, as anatomists assert, terminated when the object is brought in contact with the chest. On the contrary the sweeping in is but the shell of the operation. The kernel is reached when the space between the hugger and the huggee is annihilated, and the blade of a knife could scarcely be inserted between both surfaces. The release, if not skillfully managed, is attended with danger and should be as gradual as the elementary pressure. Expressions of anguish on the part of the huggee may, as a rule, be regarded as hypocritical, and should have no effect in inducing the hugger to diminish the pressure. Danger signals, from the huggee, without foundation may be punished by from two to three pounds additional pressure.

The senoritas of Mexico, it is said, have but a faint idea of kissing, that art from which so few possess the capacity of extracting the most available ecstasy. An American stopping in Mexico writes: “I one day offered to show a dark-eyed, raven-haired young lady how los Americanos performed the act. She laughingly agreed and I advanced upon her, my right arm bent at the elbow, afforded my hand an opportunity of accumulating her dimpled chin. Gently folding back her head and throwing a look or rather a rapid series of looks of unutterable nothing into my eyes, I gazed clean through hers for a moment, and then with a long drawn breath I tapped her lips. It was a revelation to her; she quivered visibly, but, instead of returning my kiss she broke away from my embrace and ran off to lock herself up, frightened, pleased, but astonished. With me it was merely a mechanical operation but, after two days, I saw her and she told me with a deep blush that she wished she had been born in America.”

An American naval officer who, while in Japan, had become smitten with a Chinese girl, invited her to give him a kiss. Finding her comprehension of his request somewhat obscure, he suited the action to the word, and took a delicious kiss. The girl ran in another room exclaiming “terrible man-eater. I shall be devoured.” But in a moment finding herself uninjured she returned to him, saying “I would learn more of your American rite, kee-es me.” He knew it was not right but he kept on instructing her in the rite of “kee-es me” until she knew how to do it like a native Yankee girl. And after that she suggested a second course, remarking “kee-es me some more, Mee-lee-kee!” (American). And the lesson went on until her mamma’s voice rudely awakened them from their delicious dream.

The concluding lines of a Chinese poem show that in some circles of China, at least, kissing is understood:

A man ought to know how to kiss and a girl ought to know how to receive a kiss. The Rev. Sidney Smith, the witty divine, says: “we are in favor of a certain amount of shyness when a kiss is proposed, but it should not be too long, and when the fair one gives it, let it be administered with a warmth and energy; let there be soul in it. If she close her eyes and sighs immediately after it the effect is greater. She should be careful not to slobber a kiss but give it as a humming-bird runs his bill into a honeysuckle, deep but delicate. There is much virtue in a kiss when well delivered. We have the memory of one we received in our youth which lasted us forty years, and we believe it will be one of the last things we shall think of when we die.”

The poets have sung of long remembered kisses. One fugitive poem entitled “Three Kisses” describes the lover as sitting beneath the whispering trees and speaking the tender words that rose unbidden upon his lips.

After ten years the sweetheart, now his wife, dies and he is gazing at the pale shape of clay, once warm with the throb of human life.

And so the bereaved one gives way to his sad thoughts and recognizes the fact that he must struggle on alone. But while his tearless eyes with madness shine he feels the arms of his baby child stealing round his neck and the baby lips laid against his own.

There is another anonymous fugitive poem also entitled “Three Kisses.” The first of the three is “sacred unto pain,” and on account of the many times the twain had hurt each other. The second kiss is full of joy’s sweet thrill.

The last kiss is given with the remembrance that they may die and never see each other.

A poetical apostrophe to the benefit of a wife’s kiss is entitled “Angel food”;

And here is a description of “Two Kisses”:

In the ceremony of betrothal a kiss has played an important part in several nations. A nuptial kiss in church at the conclusion of the marriage services is solemnly enjoined by the York Missal and the Sarum Manual. In the old play of “The Insensate Countess,” by Marston, occurs the line:

It was also considered an honor to be the first to kiss the bride after the ceremony, and all who would might contend for the prize. In the “Collier’s Wedding,” by Edward Chicken, we read:

When ladies’ lips were at the service of all it became usual to have fragrant scented comfits or sweets, of which we find frequent mention. In Massinger’s “Very Woman” occurs the following:

Pliny describes the introduction of the custom to the degeneracy of the Roman ladies who, in violation of the hereditary delicacy of the females of Rome, descended to the indulgence of wine. Kissing was resorted to by husbands as the most courteous process to ascertain the quality of their wives’ libations; and Cato, the elder, recommends the plan to the serious attention of all careful heads of families.