The third work of which I remember to have seen the sketch on the Fantastical Tree, was entitled, Rules of Conduct for the Eighteenth Century, addressed to a young Babylonian, who is coming into the world. It contained the following Maxims.

“Every country has its customs, every age its manners; and, in human wisdom, the only unchangeable Maxim is, to change with the times and places. The most unquestionable Maxims of the Babylonians, and of the present times are such as these:

“To have true merit does not much signify; but to have small talents is essential. To make one’s court, for example, and pretty verses, is sufficient to prosper: and even farther than can be imagined.

“Great faults shall be forgiven you, but the least ridiculous ones are unpardonable. You think right, and say excellent things: But take care you do not sneeze; it will be such an indecorum, that all the Babylonish gravity would not be able to hold; and you might speak still better things, and not a soul hear you.

“Be particularly careful to act entirely with reference to yourself, and to talk always with reference to the publick-good. It is a fine word, that publick-good: If you would, it will never enter into your heart; but it must be always in your mouth.

“Seek not the esteem of the Babylonians in place, that leads to nothing; seek to please. What, think you, will esteem do for you? It is so frozen a sentiment, has so distant a relation to self! But amuse their highnesses, and their eminencies, you will then be prized, they will not suffer you out of their sight; they will do all for you, and think they can never do enough.

“Wait not to sollicit for a place you may be fit for; probably you will not succeed. But ask, without distinction, for whatever shall offer. It is a secret to you, but you must know, that it often enters into the depth of true policy, to prefer unfit persons, and remove those that are capable.

“In fine, if you will prosper, turn, according to circumstances, flatterer, like a dedication; quack, like a preface; verbose like a book of art or science; enthusiast, like a demi-philosopher; liar, like an historian; fool-hardy, like an author who is resolved to be talked of.

“These are the true principles of wisdom: But remember, it is the Babylonian wisdom of the Eighteenth Century.”