An honour to his head and heart eternal, The Ensign’s often seen before the Colonel. I’m warranted in this my Postulatum, For it, by general sanction, est Probatum. John seated, now did Anecdotes relate Of Fashion, Gallantry, and of the Great; Who lost at Boodles—who supposed the winner— The Whispers, Bagatelles, at the Guard Dinner; In Fashionable life, who went astray— Whose Daughter slipped—whose Wife had ran away; Who was the reigning beauty—who the Toast— Who at a certain House now ruled the Roast; Whose gay Barouche was sporting in the Park— What was become of W——l and Ma’am C——k; What Wolf in patriot clothing went disguis’d— What Machinations ’gainst the State devis’d; Who of our Army systems made a Route— Who talked of Things, which they knew nought about. The General listen’d, and enjoy’d the jokes (He’d herded too with Fashionable Folks); Shook Johnny by the hand, express’d his sorrow ‘He was engaged to-day, but hoped to-morrow ‘The Captain would at half-past five repair ‘To meet some Friends, and take his homely Fare.’ ’Twas late, but Johnny nicked it to a T, The Envoy’s dinner hour was half-past Three. John heartily enjoy’d the good Repast, And Bumpers fill’d when e’er the Bottle pass’d. At Envoys’ Tables, and some others, I think They give full time to Eat, but not to Drink. I know not that to Wine they have a loathing, Perhaps ’tis a custom, something like their Clothing: For I’ve observ’d at all their Routes and Balls Legation Gentry put on Reg’mentals. At early hour our Envoy did insist Our noble Captain should cut in at Whist Before he went to bed—he rose a Winner; Then with the General next day took his Dinner. By times in Morn, again he travell’d down To Belem, purposely to call on B——n. No change had driven from his grateful Mind The former conduct—gentle, mild, and kind; Nor Wealth, nor Grandeur could his heart controul, His was the impulse of an honest soul. ‘Feeling!’ could Johnny now expose that vulgar passion, ‘Exploded, obsolete, so out of Fashion’: But Johnny was not spoiled in that particular, Old Friends to meet erect, and Perpendicular; So flew with rapture to the Barrack-yard, To seek his former Chum, kind-hearted Ward. His hand thrust out, when his Friend he espies, With honest pleasure sparkling in his Eyes. ‘How are you, Ward? by Jove, I’m glad to meet you; ‘Give me your Fist—I with much pleasure greet you. ‘How fat you’re grown! I say, you lively Varlet, ‘You’re still a stickler for the bit of Scarlet. ‘I’ll tell you what it is, you D——d old Sinner, ‘I purposely came down to Storm your Dinner— ‘Parade your Beef, my Boy, and don’t be fine. ‘I say, Friend Ward, how stands your stock of Wine?’ Then whispered in his Ear, of Men in power; Dinners D——d fine, but Wine for half an Hour. Ward was delighted, charm’d, and gratified, To find Friend John, without a spark of pride; He thought his former Friends would off be thrown, When, for the Guards, he’d quitted the King’s Own. ‘And I,’ said Ward, ‘dear Newcome, for my part, ‘Am glad to see you back, with all my heart. ‘But come along—I do not boast variety, ‘The poorest fare’s a Feast with good Society. ‘We will reverse the thing, for at my Treat, ‘We’ll drink like Fishes, tho’ no Fish to eat. ‘’Tis thus we Soldiers live, it can’t be worse, ‘Always on Beef, and with an empty Purse.’ ‘Of honest Beef,’ says John, ‘pray don’t speak slighting; ‘’Tis thought, you know, our stimulant to Fighting: ‘Its loss to Britons is the worst of Evils— ‘Give them but Beef enough, they’ll fight like Devils. ‘But this I know,’ says John, ‘at our great Battle ‘Our Commissaries really had no Cattle; ‘And though our Lads had scarcely aught to Eat, ‘The Enemy in famous style they Beat.’ An Officer observed, ‘Now where’s the wonder? ‘The hardy Vagabonds, smelt out the Plunder: ‘I’ve seen the Rogues dash to the very Muzzle, ‘But all for Plunder, all to get a Guzzle.’ ‘Come, come,’ says John, ‘now that a mere pretence is, ‘Tho’ drunk the Foe, we Fight in sober senses. ‘For if a Drunkard Fights, they can’t do less to him— ‘First beat him, then get Drunk, Drinking success to him.’ The Commandant now took up the debate: ‘Our Troops no doubt at first were in sad state; ‘All Ranks and all Departments were the same; ‘The Chief harsh censures was obliged to frame: ‘Reduced by Discipline, not now so Fiery, ‘Our Book of Orders is a Newgate Diary. ‘The way I estimate a British Soldier— ‘He’s stouter than a Frenchman, and is bolder; ‘But such a set of wanton idle Knaves! ‘You’re forced, by G—d! to treat th END OF PART I. OF SEQUEL Dash’d with his Suite for Santarem that Night. FOOTNOTESI speak from authority when I assert, that when the Peace of 1783 took place, one Military Officer retired to his own Country (a Sister Kingdom) with the enormous Sum of £190,000, when the income arising from his Regimental Commission, together with his Staff situation, could not have been equal to £1000 a-year. He was seven years on service in America. A similar system is observed at the Offices of the Adjutant and Quarter-Master-General. In respect to the term Grievance, I conceive it does not require explanation in our Military classes. SEQUEL |
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