Chapter XV A Venison Steak

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Throughout the succeeding winter Dave managed to visit the clearing two or three times in the course of each month, but he could not see that he made any progress in Miranda’s favour. As at first, she was sometimes friendly, sometimes caustically indifferent. Only once did he perceive in her the smallest hint of gratification at his coming. That was the time when he came on his snow-shoes through the forest by moonlight, the snow giving a diffused glimmer that showed him the trail even through the densest thickets. Arriving in the morning, he surprised her at the door of the cow stable, where she had been foddering the cattle. Her face flushed at the sight of him; and a look came into her wide, dark eyes which even his modesty could not quite misunderstand. But his delight quickly crumbled: Miranda was loftily indifferent to him during all that visit, so much so that after he had gone Kirstie reproached her with incivility.

“I can’t help it, mother!” she explained. “I don’t want to hate him, but what better is he than a butcher? His bread is stained with blood. Pah! I sometimes think I smell blood, the blood of the kind wood creatures, when he’s around.”

“But you don’t want him not to come, girl, surely,” protested her mother.

“Well, you know, it’s a pleasure to you to have him come once in a while,” said the girl, enigmatically.

Dave continued his visits, biding his time. He lost no chance of familiarizing Miranda’s imagination with the needs of man as he imagined them, and with a rational conception of life as he conceived it. This he did not directly, but through the medium of conversation with Kirstie, to whom his words were sweetness. He was determined to break down Miranda’s prejudice against his calling, which to him was the only one worth a man’s while,—wholesome, sane, full of adventure, full of romance. He was determined, also, to overcome her deep aversion to flesh food. He felt that not till these two points were gained would Miranda become sufficiently human to understand human love or any truly human emotions. In this belief he strictly withheld his wooing, and waited till the barriers that opposed it should be undermined by his systematic attacks. He was too little learned in woman to realize that with Miranda his best wooing was the absence of all wooing; and so he builded better than he knew.

During the cold months he was glad to be relieved of the presence of Kroof, who had proved, in her taciturn way, quite irreconcilable. He had tried in vain to purchase her favour with honey, good hive bees’ honey in the comb, carried all the way from the Settlement. She would have nothing to do with him at any price; and he felt that this discredited him in Miranda’s eyes. He hoped that Kroof would sleep late that spring in her lair under the pine root.

But while Dave was labouring so assiduously, and, as he fancied, so subtly, to mould and fashion Miranda, she all unawares was moulding him. Unconsciously his rifle and his traps were losing zest for him; and the utter solitude of his camp beyond the Quah-Davic began to have manifest disadvantages. Once he hesitated so long over a good shot at a lynx, just because the creature looked unsuspecting, that in the end he was too late, and his store of pelts was the poorer by one good skin. Shooting a young cow moose in the deep snow, moreover, he felt an unwonted qualm when the gasping and bleeding beast turned upon him a look of anguished reproach. His hand was not quite so steady as usual when he gave her the knife in the throat. This was a weakness which he did not let himself examine too closely. He knew the flesh of the young cow was tender and good, and after freezing it he hung it up in his cold cellar. Though he would not for an instant have acknowledged it, even to himself, he was glad that bears were not his business during the winter, for he would almost certainly have felt a sense of guilt, of wrong to Miranda, in shooting them. For all this undercurrent of qualm in the hidden depths of his heart, however, his hunting was never more prosperous than during the January and February of that winter; and fox, lynx, wolverine, seemed not only to run upon his gun, but to seek his traps as a haven. He killed with an emphasis, as if to rebuke the waking germ of softness in his soul. But he had little of the old satisfaction, as he saw his peltries accumulate. His craft was now become a business, a mere routine necessity. For pleasure, he chose to watch Miranda as her feathered pensioners—snowbirds, wrens, rose grosbeaks, and a glossy crow or two—gathered about her of a morning for their meal of grain and crumbs. They alighted on her hair, her shoulders, her arms; and the round-headed, childlike grosbeaks would peck bread from her red lips; and a crow, every now and then, would sidle in briskly and give a mischievous tug at the string of her moccasin. To the girl, his heart needed no warming,—it burned by now with a fire which all his backwood’s stoicism could but ill disguise,—but to the birds, and through them to all the furry folk of the wood, his heart warmed as he regarded the beautiful sight. He noted that the birds were quite unafraid of Kirstie, who also fed them; but he saw that toward Miranda they showed an active, even aggressive ardour, striving jealously for the touch of her hand or foot or skirt when no tit-bits whatever were in question. And another sight there was, toward shut of winter’s evening, that moved him strangely. The wild, white hares (he and Kirstie and Miranda called them rabbits) would come leaping over the snow to the cabin door to be fed, with never cat or weasel on their trail. They would press around the girl, nibbling eagerly at her dole of clover, hay, and carrots; some crouching about her feet, some erect and striking at her petticoat with their nervous fore paws, all twinkling-eared, and all implicitly trustful of this kind Miranda of the clover.

Toward spring Miranda began to be troubled about Kirstie’s health. She saw that the firm lines of her mother’s face were growing unwontedly sharp, the bones of her cheek and jaw strangely conspicuous. Then her solicitous scrutiny took note of a pallor under the skin, a greyish whiteness at the corners of her eyes, a lack of vividness in the usually brilliant scarlet of the lips; for up to now Kirstie had retained all the vital colouring and tone of youth. Then, too, there was a listlessness, a desire to rest and take breath after very ordinary tasks of chopping or of throwing fodder for the cattle. This puzzled the girl much more than Kirstie’s increasing tendency to sit dreaming over the hearth fire when there was work to be done. Miranda felt equal to doing all the winter work, and she knew that her mother, like herself, was ever a dreamer when the mood was on. But even this brooding abstraction came to worry her at last, when one morning, after a drifting storm which had piled the snow halfway up the windows, her mother let her shovel out all the paths unaided, with never a comment or excuse. Miranda was not aggrieved at this, by any means; but she began to be afraid, sorely afraid. It was so unlike the alert and busy Kirstie of old days. Of necessity, Miranda turned to Dave for counsel in her alarm, when next he came to the clearing.

The conference took place in the warm twilight of the cow stable, where Dave, according to his custom, was helping Miranda at the milking, while Kirstie got supper. The young hunter looked serious, but not surprised.

“I’ve took note o’ the change this two month back, Mirandy,” he said, “an’ was a-wonderin’ some how them big eyes of yourn, that can see things us ordinary folks can’t see, could be blind to what teched ye so close.”

“I wasn’t blind to it, Dave,” protested the girl, indignantly; “but I didn’t see how you could help any. Nor I don’t see now; but there was no one else I could speak to about it,” she added, with a break in her voice that distantly presaged tears.

“I could help some, if you’d let me, Mirandy,” he hesitated, “for I know right well what she’s needin’.”

“Well, what is it?” demanded the girl. There was that in his voice which oppressed her with a vague misgiving.

“It’s good, fresh, roast meat she wants!” said Dave.

There was a pause. Miranda turned and looked out through the stable door, across the glimmering fields.

“It’s her blood’s got thin an’ poor,” continued Dave. “Nothin’ but flesh meat’ll build her up now, an’ she’s jest got to have it.” He was beginning to feel it was time that Miranda experienced the touch of a firm hand.

“I don’t believe you!” said the girl, and turned hotly to her milking.

“Well, we’ll see,” retorted Dave. In Miranda’s silence he read a tardy triumph for his views.

That evening he took note of the fact that Kirstie came to supper with no appetite, though every dish of it was tempting and well cooked. Miranda observed this also. Her fresh pang of apprehension on her mother’s account was mixed with a resentful feeling that Dave would interpret every symptom as a confirmation of his own view. She was quite honest in her rejection of that view, for in her eyes flesh food was a kind of subtle poison. But she was too anxious about her mother’s health to commit herself in open hostility to anything, however extreme, which might be suggested in remedy. On this point she was resolved to hold aloof, letting the decision rest between her mother and Dave.

Aroused by the young hunter’s talk, Kirstie was brighter than usual during the meal; but, to her great disappointment, Dave got up to go immediately after supper. He would take no persuasion, but insisted that he had come just to see if she and Miranda were well, and declared that affairs of supreme importance called him straight back to the camp. Kirstie was not convinced. She turned a face of reproach on Miranda, so frankly that the girl was compelled to take her meaning.

“Oh! it isn’t my fault, mother,” she protested, with a little vexed laugh. “I’ve not been doing anything ugly to him. If he goes, it’s just his own obstinacy, for he knows we’d like him to stay as he always does. Let him go if he wants to!”

“Mirandy,” said her mother, in a voice of grave rebuke, “I wish you would not be so hard with Dave. If you treated your dumb beasts like you treat him, I reckon they would never come to you a second time. You seem to forget that Dave and his father are our only friends,—and just now, Dave’s father being in the lumber camp, we’ve nobody but Dave here to look to.”

“Oh! I’ve nothing against Dave, mother, except the blood on his hands,” retorted the girl, turning her face away.

The young hunter shrugged his shoulders, deprecatingly, smiled a slow smile of understanding at Kirstie, and strode to the door.

“Good night, both of ye,” he said cheerfully. “Ye’ll see me back, liker’n not, by this time to-morrow.”

As he went, Miranda noticed with astonishment and a flush of warmth that for once in his career he was without his inseparable rifle. Kirstie, in the vacant silence that followed his going, had it on her tongue to say, “I do wish you could take to Dave, Miranda.” But the woman’s heart within her gave her warning in time, and she held her peace. Thanks to this prudence, Miranda went to bed that night with something of a glow at her heart. Dave’s coming without the rifle was a direct tribute to her influence, and to some extent outweighed his horrible suggestion that her mother should defile her mouth with meat.

The next evening the chores were all done up; the “rabbits” had come and gone with their clover and carrots; and Kirstie and Miranda were sitting down to their supper, when in walked Dave. He carried a package of something done up in brown sacking. This time, too, he carried his rifle. Kirstie’s welcome was frankly eager, but Miranda saw the rifle, and froze. He caught her look, and with a flash of intuition understood it.

Had to bring it along, Mirandy,” he explained, with a flush of embarrassment. “Couldn’t ha’ got here without it. The wolves have come back again, six of ’em. They set on to me at my own camp door.”

“Oh, wolves!” exclaimed Miranda, in a tone of aversion. “They’re vermin.”

Since that far-off day when, with her childish face flattened against the pane, her childish heart swelling with wrath and tears, she had watched the wolves attack Ten-Tine’s little herd, she had hated the ravening beasts with a whole-souled hate.

“I hope to goodness you killed them all!” said Kirstie, with pious fervour.

“Two got off; got the pelts of the others,” answered Dave.

“Not too bad, that,” commented Kirstie, with approval; “now come and have some supper.”

“Not jest yet, Kirstie,” he replied, undoing his package. “I’ve noticed lately ye was looking mighty peaked, an’ hadn’t much appetite, like. Now when folks has anything the matter with ’em I know as much about it as lots of the doctors, and I know what’s goin’ to set ye right up. If ye’ll lend me the loan of yer fire, an’ a frying-pan, I’ll have something for yer supper that’ll do ye more good than a bucketful of doctor’s medicine.”

Miranda knew what was coming. She knew Dave had been all the way back to the camp, beyond the Quah-Davic, for meat, that he might run no risk of killing any of the beasts that were under her protection. She knew, too, that to make such a journey in the twenty-four hours he could scarce have had one hour’s sleep. None the less, she hardened her heart against him. She kept her eyes on her plate and listened with strained intensity for her mother’s word upon this vital subject.

Kirstie’s interest was now very much awake. “There’s the fire, Dave,” she said, “and there’s the frying-pan hanging on the side of the dresser. But what have you got? I’ve felt this long while I’d like a bit of a change—not but what the food we’re used to, Miranda and me, is real good food and wholesome.”

“Well, Kirstie,” he answered, taking a deep breath before the plunge, and at the same time throwing back the wrapping from a rosy cut of venison steak, “it’s jest nothin’ more nor less than fresh meat. It’s venison, clean an’ wholesome; and I’ll fry ye right now this tender slice I’m cuttin’ for ye.”

Kirstie was startled quite out of her self-possession. The rule of the cabin against flesh meat was so long established, so well known at the Settlement, so fenced about with every sanction of principle and prejudice, that Dave’s words were of the nature of a challenge. She felt that she ought to be angry; but, as a matter of fact, she was only uneasy as to how Miranda would take so daring a proposal. At the same time she was suddenly conscious of an unholy craving for the forbidden thing. She glanced anxiously at Miranda, but the girl appeared to be wrapped up in her own thoughts.

“But you know, Dave,” she protested rebukingly, “we neither of us ever touch meat of any kind. You know our opinions on this point.”

The words themselves would have satisfied Miranda had she not detected a certain irresolution in the tone. They did not affect Dave in the least. For a moment he made no reply, for he was busy cutting thin slices off the steak. He spread them carefully in the hot butter, now spluttering in the pan over the coals; and then, straightening himself up from the task, knife in hand, he answered cheerfully: “That’s all right. But, ye see, Kirstie, all the folks reckon me somethin’ of a doctor, an’ this here meat I’m cookin’ for ye ain’t rightly food at all. It’s medicine; ’tain’t right ye should hold off now, when ye need it as medicine. ’Tain’t fair to Mirandy. I can see ye’ve jest been pinin’ away like, all winter. It’s new blood, with iron in it, ye need. It’s flesh meat, an’ flesh meat only, that’ll give ye iron an’ new blood. When ye’re well, an’ yer old strong self agin, ye can quit meat if ye like,—an’ kick me out o’ the cabin for interferin’; but now—”

He paused dramatically. He had talked right on, contrary to his silent habit, for a purpose. He knew the power of natural cravings. He was waiting for Kirstie’s elemental bodily needs to speak out in support of his argument. He waited just time for the savoury smell of the steak to fill the cabin and work its miracle. Now the spell was abroad. He looked to Kirstie for an answer.

The instant she smelled that savour Kirstie knew that he was right. Steak, venison steak fried in butter, was what she required. For weeks she had had no appetite; now she was ravenous. Moreover, a thousand lesser forces, set in motion by Dave’s long talks, were impelling her to just such a change as the eating of flesh would symbolize to her. But—Miranda? Kirstie stared at her in nervous apprehension, expecting an outburst of scorn. But Miranda was seemingly oblivious of all that went on in the cabin. Her unfathomed eyes, abstractedly wide open, were staring out through the white square of the window. She was trying hard to think about the mysterious blue-white wash of radiance that seemed to pour in palpable floods from the full moon;—about the furred and furtive creatures passing and repassing noiselessly, as she knew, across the lit patches of the glades;—about the herd of moose down in the firwoods, sleeping securely between walls of deep snow in the “yard,” which they had trodden for themselves a fortnight back;—of Kroof, coiled in her warm den under the pine root, with five feet of drift piled over her. But in reality she was steeling herself, with fierce desperation, against a strange appetite which was rising within her at the call of that insidious fragrance. With a kind of horror she realized that she was at war with herself—that one half her nature was really more than ready to partake of the forbidden food.

Dave noticed the look of question which Kirstie had turned upon Miranda.

“Oh, ye needn’t look to her, Kirstie, to back ye up in no foolishness,” he went on. “I spoke to her last night about it, an’ she hadn’t a word to say agin my medicine.”

Still there was no comment from Miranda. If Miranda, to whom abstinence from flesh was a religion, could tolerate a compromise, why she herself, to whom it was merely a prejudice and a preference, might well break an ancient rule for an instant’s good. She had been inwardly anxious for months about her condition. After a second or two of doubt, her mind was made up; and when Kirstie made up her mind, it was in no halfway fashion.

“I’ll try your doctoring, Dave,” she said slowly. “I’ll give it a fair trial. But while you’re about it, why don’t you cook enough for yourself, too? Have you put salt in the pan? And here’s a dash of pepper.”

“No,” answered the young hunter, concealing his elation as he sprinkled the steak temperately with the proffered salt and pepper, “I don’t want none myself, I need meat onct in a while, er I git weak an’ no good. But there’s nothin’ suits my taste like the feeds I git here,—the pipin’ hot riz buckwheat cakes, with lots o’ butter an’ molasses, an’ the johnny-cake, an’ the potater pie, an’ the tasty ways ye cook eggs. I often think when I’m here that I wouldn’t care if I never seen a slice o’ fresh meat, er even bacon, agin. But our bodies is built a certain way, an’ there’s no gittin’ over Nature’s intention. We’ve got the teeth to prove it, an’ the insides, too,—I’ve read all about it in doctors’ books. I read a heap in camp. Fact is, Kirstie, we’re built like the bear,—to live on all kinds of food, includin’ flesh,—an’ if we don’t git all kinds onct in a while, somethin’s bound to go wrong.”

Never had Dave talked so much before; but now he was feverishly eager to have no opening for discussion. While he talked the venison was cooked and served. Kirstie ate it with a relish, which convinced him of the wisdom of his course. She ate all that he had fried; and he wisely refrained from cooking more, that her appetite might be kept on edge for it in the morning. Then she ate other things, with an unwonted zest. Miranda returned to the table, talking pleasantly of everything but health, and food, and hunting. Against herself she was angry; but on Dave, to his surprise, she smiled with a rare graciousness. She was mollified by his tact in characterizing the steak as medicine; and, moreover, by his statement of a preference for their ordinary bloodless table, he seemed in some way to range himself on her side, even while challenging her principles. But—oh, that savoury smell! It still enriched the air of the cabin; it still stirred riotous cravings in her astonished appetite. She trembled with a fear and hatred of herself.

When Kirstie, with a face to which the old glow was already venturing back, laid down her knife and fork, and explained to her guest, “You’re a good doctor, and no mistake, Dave Titus; I declare I feel better already,” Miranda got up and went silently out into the moonlight to breathe new air and take counsel with herself.

Dave would have followed her, but Kirstie stopped him. “Best let her be,” she said meaningly, in a low voice. “She’s got a heap to think over in the last half hour.”

“But she took it a sight better’n I thought she would,” responded Dave.

And all on account of a venison steak, his hopes soared higher than they had ever dared before.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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