XV. Anthony Plays Maid

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After dinner that night, Juliet, having once more put things in order and slipped off the big pinafore which had kept her spotless, joined her husband in the garden up and down which he was comfortably pacing, hands in pockets, pipe in mouth.

“Jolly spot, isn’t it? Come and perambulate,” he suggested.

“Just for a minute. Tony, are we going to the Reardons?”

He stood still and considered. “I don’t know. Are we? Did you accept?”

“On condition that you felt like it. I represented you as coming home decidedly fagged these hot nights and not always caring to stir.”

“Wise schemer! I don’t mind the aspersion on my physical being. She urged, I suppose?”

“She did. I don’t know why.”

“I do.” Anthony smiled down at his wife. “Everybody is a bit curious about us these days. Your position, you see, is considered very extraordinary.”

“Nonsense, Tony. Shall we go?”

“Possibly we’d better, though it racks my soul to think of dressing. The less I wear my festive garments the less I want to. For that very reason, suppose we discipline ourselves and go. Do you mind?”

“Not at all. We’ll have to dress at once, for it’s nearly eight now, and by the time we have caught a train and got to Hollyhurst——”

“To be sure. Here goes, then.”

Half an hour later Anthony, wrestling with a refractory cuff button, looked up to see his wife at his elbow. She was very nearly a vision of elegance and beauty; the lacking essential was explained to him by a voice very much out of breath and a trifle petulant:

“If you care anything for me, Tony, stop everything and hook me up. I’m all mixed up, and I can’t reach, and I’m sure I’ve torn that little lace frill at the back.”

“All right. Where do I begin?”

“Under my left arm, I think—I can’t possibly see.”

“Neither can I.” He was poking about under the lifted arm, among folds of filmy stuff. “Here we are—no, we aren’t. Does this top hook go in this little pocket on the other side?”

“I suppose so—can’t you tell whether it does by the look?”

“It seems a bit blind to me,” murmured Anthony, struggling.

“It’s meant to be blind—it mustn’t show when it’s fastened.”

“It certainly doesn’t now. Hold on—don’t wriggle. I’ve got it now. I’ve found the combination. Three turns to the right, five to the left, clear around once, then—Hullo! I’ve come out wrong. The thing doesn’t track at the bottom.”

“You’ve missed a hook.”

“Oh, no. I hung onto ’em all the way down.”

“Then you missed an eye. You’ll have to unhook it all and begin again.”

Anthony obeyed. “I’m glad I don’t have to get into my clothes around the corner this way,” he commented. “Here you are. We stuck to the schedule this time.”

“Wait, dear. You haven’t fastened the shoulder. There are ever so many little hooks along there and around the arm hole.”

“I should say there were. What’s the good of so many?—Where do they begin? Look out—wait a minute—Juliet, if you don’t stop twisting around so I never can do it. I can do great, heroic acts, it’s the little trials that floor me—There—no!—that doesn’t look right.”

Juliet ran to the mirror. “It isn’t right,” she cried. “Look—that corner shouldn’t lap over like that. Oh, if I could only reach myself!”

“You can‘t—I’ve often tried it. The human anatomy—Stand still, Julie—you’re getting nervous.”

“If there’s one thing that’s trying——” murmured Juliet.

“Why do you let your dressmakers build your frocks this way? Why not get into ’em all in front, where you can see what you’re doing?—Now I’ve got it. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes. Wait, Tony—here’s the girdle. It fastens behind.”

Anthony surveyed the incomprehensible affair of silk and velvet ribbon she put into his hands. “Looks like a head-stall to me,” he said. Juliet laughed and fitted it about her own waist. Anthony attempted to make it join at the back of the points she held out to him.

“It won’t come together,” he said.

“Oh, yes, it will. Draw it tight.”

“I am drawing it tight. It’s smaller than you are. You can’t wear it.”

Juliet laughed again. Anthony tugged.

“Wait till I hold my breath,” she said.

Great guns!” he ejaculated, and by the exertion of much force fastened the girdle. Then he stood off a step or two and looked at his wife curiously. Flushed and laughing she returned his gaze.

“Can you breathe?” he asked solicitously.

“Of course I can.”

“What with?”

“It is a little tight, of course,” she admitted. “This is one of my trousseau dresses. I’ve grown a little stouter, I suppose. Never mind, I can stand it for to-night. Thank you very much. You must hurry now, Tony.”

“I haven’t had my pay for playing maid,” he said, and came close. He surveyed his wife’s fair neck and shoulders, turned her around and deliberately kissed the soft hollow where the firm white flesh of her neck met the waving brown hair drawn lightly upwards.

“That’s the spot that tantalized me for about six years,” he observed.

Hunting hurriedly through various drawers and boxes in the blue-and-white room, in search of gloves and fan, Juliet heard her husband come in his turn to her open door.

“Will you have the goodness to look at me?” he requested, in a melancholy voice. Juliet turned, gave him one glance, and broke into a merry peal.

“Oh, Tony!—What’s the matter? Have you been growing stouter, too?”

“It must be,” he said solemnly.

His clawhammer coat was so tight across the shoulders that the strain was evident. He was holding his arms in the exaggerated position of the small boy who wears a last year’s suit. Juliet revolved around her husband’s well built figure with interest.

“It does look tight,” she said. “But have you grown heavier all at once? It can’t be long since you wore that coat before.”

“Don’t believe I have for months. It’s been altogether frock-coats and informals. I haven’t been to an evening affair with ladies for a good while.”

“It doesn’t look as it feels, I’m sure. It’s getting very late—we ought to be off,” and Juliet gathered up her belongings and gave him a long loose coat to hold for her which covered her finery completely.

“Now’s the hour when I regret that I haven’t a carriage for you,” said Anthony, as they descended the stairs. He got into his outer coat reluctantly. “I shall split something around my back before the evening is over,” he prophesied resignedly.

“Never mind. Remember how tight my girdle is. It grows tighter every minute.”

They got out upon the porch and Anthony locked the door. “If I should show that door-key to any man I know except Carey he would howl,” he remarked, holding up the queer old brass affair before he slipped it into his pocket. He looked down at Juliet in the gathering June twilight. “Don’t you wish we didn’t have to go?”

“Yes, I do,” she agreed frankly.

“Let’s not!”

“My dear boy! At this hour?”

“We could telephone.”

“Shouldn’t you feel rather ashamed to, so late?”

“Not a bit. But of course we’ll go if you say so.”

She laughed, and he joined her boyishly. She hesitated.

“If I see you looking faint in that girdle shall I throw a glass of cold water over you?”

“Please do. If I hear a sound as of rending cloth shall I divert the attention of the company?”

“By all means.”

They were laughing like two children. Anthony sat down in one of the porch chairs. He drew a long sigh. “I never hated to leave my dear home so since I came into it,” he said gloomily.

Juliet pulled off her coat. “If you’ll do the telephoning I’ll stay,” she said.

He jumped to his feet. “Let me loosen that girdle for you. I haven’t been breathing below the fifth rib myself since you put it on, just in sympathy,” he declared.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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