Quakerwise.—"William, thee knows I never call any bad names; but, William, if the mayor of the city were to come to me and say, 'Joshua, I want thee to find me the biggest liar in the city,' I would come to thee and put my hand on thy shoulder, and say to thee, 'William, the mayor wants to see thee.'"

1616

THE BEST TIME TO QUARREL.

In Lanarkshire, there lived a sma' laird named Hamilton, who was noted for his eccentricity. On one occasion, a neighbor waited on him, and requested his name as an accommodation to a bill for twenty pounds at three months date, which led to the following characteristic and truly Scottish colloquy:

"Na, na, I canna do that."

"What for no', laird? Ye hae dune the same thing for ithers."

"Ay, ay, Tammas, but there's wheels within wheels ye ken naething aboot; I canna do 't."

"It's a sma' affair to refuse me, laird."

"Weel, ye see, Tammas, if I was to pit my name till't, ye wad get the siller frae the bank, and when the time came round, ye wadna be ready, and I wad hae to pay't; sae then you and me wad quarrel; sae we mae just as weel quarrel the noo, as lang's the siller's in ma pouch."

1617

In all thy quarrels leave open the door of reconciliation.

1618

To quarrel with one person to please another, is to meet what we merit,—the displeasure of both.

—Crete.

1619

He that blows the coals in quarrels he has nothing to do with, has no right to complain if the sparks fly in his face.

1620

If you wish a wise answer you must put a rational question.

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