The grandmother thought, the next morning, that she had not passed such a pleasant evening, or such a comfortable and restful night, for a long time. “Dear me!” she said, after Bruin had departed, with many thanks and at least ten profound bows,—“dear me! what a difference it makes, having a bear in the house! one feels so secure; and one does not think of waking up to listen, every time a branch snaps outside, or a door creaks in the house. I wonder—” But the grandmother did not tell Toto what she wondered.

The next fine afternoon, the animals all came to the cottage in good season, for they were to have a story from their kind hostess herself this time, and it was to be about a giant.

“And if you will believe it,” said the raccoon, “our poor Chucky here does not—ha! ha!—actually 197 does not know what a giant is! Will you kindly explain to him, dear madam?”

“Ugh!” grunted the woodchuck. “I don’t believe you know yourself, Coon, for all your airs! You said this morning it was a kind of vegetable, and now—”

“Stop quarrelling, and listen to the story, will you?” said Bruin. “Wow!”

When the bear said “Wow” in that manner, all the others knew it meant business; and as he lay down at the grandmother’s feet, they all drew nearer, and were silent in expectation.

“A giant,” said the grandmother, “is like a man, only very much bigger; very, very much bigger. The giant about whom I am going to tell you was one of the largest of his kind, being no less than fourteen miles high.”

There was a general murmur of amazement.

“Fourteen miles high!” the old lady repeated. “His name was as short as he himself was long, for it was neither more nor less than Crump; and he fell in love with the Lady Moon. He fell so 198 deeply in love with her that it was quite impossible for him to get out again; so he informed her of the fact, and begged her to marry him.

That was what he said, or words to that effect.

“But the Lady Moon replied, ‘Dear Crump, I would gladly do as you suggest, but the thing is not possible. I have no body, but only a head; and I could not think of going into church to be married without any body, to say nothing of legs and feet.’

“‘Is that your only objection?’ asked Giant Crump.

“‘The only one, upon my lunar honor!’ replied the Lady Moon.

“‘Then I think I can manage it,’ said the giant. Accordingly he went and gathered together all the silver there was in the world at that time, and out of it he made a beautiful silver body, with arms and legs all complete. And when it was finished he made a silver dress, and silver slippers, 199 and a silver moonshade, and dressed the body up in the most fashionable and delightful manner. Then, when all was ready, he called to the Lady Moon, and told her that her body was ready, and that she had only to come down and put it on.

“‘But I cannot come down,’ said the Lady Moon. ‘Nothing would induce me to come down without a body. You must bring it up here.’

“Now that was not an easy thing to do; for though Crump was very big, he was not nearly big enough. What are fourteen miles, compared with two hundred and forty thousand? However, he was a very persevering giant, and had no idea of giving up; and he was very clever too. So he sat down on the ground and reflected for the space of seven years, and at the end of that time a thought struck him.

“He rose at once, and went to work and made a pair of stilts, high enough to reach to the moon. That was quite a piece of work, as you may imagine; but when they were finished, a new difficulty arose: how was he to get up on them? 200 This required more reflection, and Crump sat and thought about it for six weeks more. Then another thought struck him, which was really an extremely clever one. He made a long ladder, as long as the stilts. He set this up against one of the stilts, and climbed up and put one foot on it; and then he set the ladder against the other stilt, and climbed up and put the other foot on that; this was very difficult, but it was also very clever. I forgot to say that he took the silver body up with him. Then he called out to the Lady Moon, ‘Here I am, dear Lady Moon, and here is your silver body. Stop now, stop your rolling, and let me fasten it on for you, and then come down and be my beautiful silver bride.’ And he held up the silver body, which shone and sparkled in the most enchanting manner.

“But the Lady Moon replied, ‘Stop rolling, indeed! that is quite out of the question, I assure you. I have never done such a thing, and I am not going to begin at my time of life. No, no, Giant Crump; if you want me, you must catch 202 me!’ and she went rolling on in the most heartless and unfeeling way.

“There was nothing for the poor giant to do but follow; so, tucking the silver body under his arm, he set off on his tall stilts, and walked after the Lady Moon. Round and round the world went she, and round and round went the giant after her; and as I have never heard of his catching up with her, he is very likely walking round and round still.”

“Is that all?” inquired the insatiable Toto. “What a very short story, Granny!”

“It is rather short,” said the grandmother; “but I don’t see how it could be made any longer. I will, however, if you wish, tell you another short story, and that will be equal to one long one. Listen, therefore, and you shall hear the story of Hokey Pokey.”

So they listened, and heard it.

“Hokey Pokey was the youngest of a large family of children. His elder brothers, as they 203 grew up, all became either butchers or bakers or makers of candlesticks, for such was the custom of the family. But Hokey Pokey would be none of these things; so when he was grown to be a tall youth he went to his father and said, ‘Give me my fortune.’

“‘Will you be a butcher?’ asked his father.

“‘No,’ said Hokey Pokey.

“‘Will you be a baker?’

“‘No, again.’

“‘Will you make candlesticks?’

“‘Nor that either.’

“‘Then,’ said his father, ‘this is the only fortune I can give you;’ and with that he took up his cudgel and gave the youth a stout beating. ‘Now you cannot complain that I gave you nothing,’ said he.

“‘That is true,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘But give me also the wooden mallet which lies on the shelf, and I will make my way through the world.’

“His father gave him the mallet, glad to be so easily rid of him, and Hokey Pokey went out 204 into the world to seek his fortune. He walked all day, and at nightfall he came to a small village. Feeling hungry, he went into a baker’s shop, intending to buy a loaf of bread for his supper. There was a great noise and confusion in the back part of the shop; and on going to see what was the matter, he found the baker on his knees beside a large box or chest, which he was trying with might and main to keep shut. But there was something inside the box which was trying just as hard to get out, and it screamed and kicked, and pushed the lid up as often as the baker shut it down.

“‘What have you there in the box?’ asked Hokey Pokey.

“‘I have my wife,’ replied the baker. ‘She is so frightfully ill-tempered that whenever I am going to bake bread I am obliged to shut her up in this box, lest she push me into the oven and bake me with the bread, as she has often threatened to do. But to-day she has broken the lock of the box, and I know not how to keep her down.’

“‘That is easily managed,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘Do you but tell her, when she asks who I am, that I am a giant with three heads, and all will be well.’ So saying, he took his wooden mallet and dealt three tremendous blows on the box, saying in a loud voice,—

“‘Husband, husband! whom have you there?’ cried the wife in terror.

“‘Alas!’ said the baker; ‘it is a frightful giant with three heads. He is sitting by the box, and if you open it so much as the width of your little finger, he will pull you out and beat you to powder.’

“When the wife heard that she crouched down in the box, and said never a word, for she was afraid of her life.

“The baker then took Hokey Pokey into the other part of the shop, thanked him warmly, and gave him a good supper and a bed. The next 206 morning he gave him for a present the finest loaf of bread in his shop, which was shaped like a large round ball; and Hokey Pokey, after knocking once more on the lid of the box, continued his travels.

“He had not gone far before he came to another village, and wishing to inquire his way he entered the first shop he came to, which proved to be that of a confectioner. The shop was full of the most beautiful sweetmeats imaginable, and everything was bright and gay; but the confectioner himself sat upon a bench, weeping bitterly.

“‘What ails you, friend?’ asked Hokey-Pokey; ‘and why do you weep, when you are surrounded by the most delightful things in the world?’

“‘Alas!’ replied the confectioner. ‘That is just the cause of my trouble. The sweetmeats that I make are so good that their fame has spread far and wide, and the Rat King, hearing of them, has taken up his abode in my cellar. Every night he comes up and eats all the sweetmeats I have made the day before. There is no comfort in my life, 207 and I am thinking of becoming a rope-maker and hanging myself with the first rope I make.’

“‘Why don’t you set a trap for him?’ asked Hokey Pokey.

“‘I have set fifty-nine traps,’ replied the confectioner, ‘but he is so strong that he breaks them all.’

“‘Poison him,’ suggested Hokey Pokey.

“‘He dislikes poison,’ said the confectioner, ‘and will not take it in any form.’

“‘In that case,’ said Hokey Pokey, ‘leave him to me. Go away, and hide yourself for a few minutes, and all will be well.’

“The confectioner retired behind a large screen, having first showed Hokey Pokey the hole of the Rat King, which was certainly a very large one. Hokey Pokey sat down by the hole, with his mallet in his hand, and said in a squeaking voice,—

And he scratched three times on the floor. Almost immediately the head of a rat popped up through the hole. He was a huge rat, quite as large as a cat; but his size was no help to him, for as soon as he appeared, Hokey Pokey dealt him such a blow with his mallet that he fell down dead without even a squeak. Then Hokey Pokey called the confectioner, who came out from behind the 209 screen and thanked him warmly; he also bade him choose anything he liked in the shop, in payment for his services.

“‘Can you match this?’ asked Hokey Pokey, showing his round ball of bread.

“‘That can I!’ said the confectioner; and he brought out a most beautiful ball, twice as large as the loaf, composed of the finest sweetmeats in the world, red and yellow and white. Hokey Pokey took it with many thanks, and then went on his way.

“The next day he came to a third village, in the streets of which the people were all running to and fro in the wildest confusion.

“‘What is the matter?’ asked Hokey Pokey, as one man ran directly into his arms.

“‘Alas!’ replied the man. ‘A wild bull has got into the principal china-shop, and is breaking all the beautiful dishes.’

“‘Why do you not drive him out?’ asked Hokey Pokey.

“‘We are afraid to do that,’ said the man; ‘but 210 we are running up and down to express our emotion and sympathy, and that is something.’

“‘Show me the china-shop,’ said Hokey Pokey.

“So the man showed him the china-shop; and there, sure enough, was a furious bull, making most terrible havoc. He was dancing up and down on a Dresden dinner set, and butting at the Chinese mandarins, and switching down finger-bowls and teapots with his tail, bellowing meanwhile in the most outrageous manner. The floor was covered with broken crockery, and the whole scene was melancholy to behold.

“Now when Hokey Pokey saw this, he said to the owner of the china-shop, who was tearing his hair in a frenzy of despair, ‘Stop tearing your hair, which is indeed a senseless occupation, and I will manage this matter for you. Bring me a red cotton umbrella, and all will yet be well.’

“So the china-shop man brought him a red cotton umbrella, and Hokey Pokey began to open and shut it violently in front of the door. When 211 the bull saw that, he stopped dancing on the Dresden dinner set and came charging out of the shop, straight towards the red umbrella. When he came near enough, Hokey Pokey dropped the umbrella, and raising his wooden mallet hit the bull such a blow on the muzzle that he fell down dead, and never bellowed again.

“The people all flung up their hats, and cheered, and ran up and down all the more, to express their gratification. As for the china-shop man, he threw his arms round Hokey Pokey’s neck, called him his cherished preserver, and bade him choose anything that was left in his shop in payment for his services.

“‘Can you match these?’ asked Hokey Pokey, holding up the loaf of bread and the ball of sweetmeats.

“‘That can I,’ said the shop-man; and he brought out a huge ball of solid ivory, inlaid with gold and silver, and truly lovely to behold. It was very heavy, being twice as large as the ball of sweetmeats; but Hokey Pokey took it, and, 212 after thanking the shop-man and receiving his thanks in return, he proceeded on his way.

“After walking for several days, he came to a fair, large castle, in front of which sat a man on horseback. When the man saw Hokey Pokey, he called out,—

“‘Who are you, and what do you bring to the mighty Dragon, lord of this castle?’

“‘Hokey Pokey is my name,’ replied the youth, ‘and strange things do I bring. But what does the mighty Dragon want, for example?’

“‘He wants something new to eat,’ said the man on horseback. ‘He has eaten of everything that is known in the world, and pines for something new. He who brings him a new dish, never before tasted by him, shall have a thousand crowns and a new jacket; but he who fails, after three trials, shall have his jacket taken away from him, and his head cut off besides.’

“‘I bring strange food,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘Let me pass in, that I may serve the mighty Dragon.’

“Then the man on horseback lowered his lance, and let him pass in, and in short space he came before the mighty Dragon. The Dragon sat on a silver throne, with a golden knife in one hand, and a golden fork in the other. Around him were many people, who offered him dishes of every description; but he would none of them, for he had tasted them all before; and he howled with hunger on his silver throne. Then came forward Hokey Pokey, and said boldly,—

“‘Here come I, Hokey Pokey, bringing strange food for the mighty Dragon.’

“The Dragon howled again, and waving his knife and fork, bade Hokey Pokey give the food to the attendants, that they might serve him.

“‘Not so,’ said Hokey Pokey. ‘I must serve you myself, most mighty Dragon, else you shall not taste of my food. Therefore put down your knife and fork, and open your mouth, and you shall see what you shall see.’

“So the Dragon, after summoning the man-with-the-thousand-crowns and the man-with-the-new-jacket 214 to one side of his throne, and the man-to-take-away-the-old-jacket and the executioner to the other, laid down his knife and fork and opened his mouth. Hokey Pokey stepped lightly forward, and dropped the round loaf down the great red throat. The Dragon shut his jaws together with a snap, and swallowed the loaf in two gulps.

“‘That is good,’ he said; ‘but it is not new. I have eaten much bread, though never before in a round loaf. Have you anything more? Or shall the man take away your jacket?’

“‘I have this, an it please you,’ said Hokey Pokey; and he dropped the ball of sweetmeats into the Dragon’s mouth.

“When the Dragon tasted this, he rolled his eyes round and round, and was speechless with delight for some time. At length he said, ‘Worthy youth, this is very good; it is extremely good; it is better than anything I ever tasted. Nevertheless, it is not new; for I have tasted the same kind of thing before, only not nearly so good. 215 And now, unless you are positively sure that you have something new for your third trial, you really might as well take off your jacket; and the executioner shall take off your head at the same time, as it is getting rather late. Executioner, do your—’

“‘Craving your pardon, most mighty Dragon,’ said Hokey Pokey, ‘I will first make my third trial;’ and with that he dropped the ivory ball into the Dragon’s mouth.

“‘Gug-wugg-gllll-grrr!’ said the Dragon, for the ball had stuck fast, being too big for him to swallow.

“Then Hokey Pokey lifted his mallet and struck one tremendous blow upon the ball, driving it far down the throat of the monster, and killing him most fatally dead. He rolled off the throne like a scaly log, and his crown fell off and rolled to Hokey Pokey’s feet. The youth picked it up and put it on his own head, and then called the people about him and addressed them.

“‘People,’ he said, ‘I am Hokey Pokey, and I have come from a far land to rule over you. Your Dragon have I slain, and now I am your king; and if you will always do exactly what I tell you to do, you will have no further trouble.’

“So the people threw up their caps and cried, ‘Long live Hokey Pokey!’ and they always did exactly as he told them, and had no further trouble.

“And Hokey Pokey sent for his three brothers, and made them Chief Butcher, Chief Baker, and 217 Chief Candlestick-maker of his kingdom. But to his father he sent a large cudgel made of pure gold, with these words engraved on it: ‘Now you cannot complain that I have given you nothing!’”