Oh! what a mystery

The study is of history!

How the kings go ravaging

And savaging about!

Plantagenet or Tudor,

I can’t tell which was ruder;

But Richard Third,

Upon my word,

Was worst of all the rout.

Alfred was a hero,

Knew no guile nor fear, oh!

Beat the Danes and checked the Thanes,

And ruled the country well.

Edward First, the Hammer,

Was a slaughterer and slammer,

And Bruce alone

Saved Scotland’s throne,

When ’neath his blows it fell.

Edward Third was great, too,

Drove the French

From Cressy’s trench

Like leaves before the blast.

But Harry Fifth, the glorious,

He the all-victorious,

He’s the one

I’d serve alone,

From first unto the last.

Oh! what a mystery

The study is of history!

Queens and kings,

And wars and things,

All done in black and white.

Though sometimes a trifle bloody,

’Tis my best beloved study,

For only so

One learns, you know,

To govern and to fight!