Henry A. Rayne

Indelicate expressions—The narrative of No. 1—Interruptions—The narrative of No. 2—Buralli speaks the epilogue.

This is a truthful record of a scene that occurred in my court to-day. If some of the expressions used are rather indelicate I can only excuse myself for repeating them on the plea that they are not to be compared with some other expressions used, but not repeated. Africans call spades "spades," and talk without embarrassment about subjects that are taboo in our drawing-rooms. This morning, without any warning, two Somal ladies were ushered into my presence at court. Ushered, did I say? Rather, two ladies burst into the court dragging at their tails a squad of perspiring policemen, who showed signs of having been engaged in an unsuccessful argument with the women.

The imperturbable Somal sub-inspector of police guided one woman into the witness-box, the other into the prisoners' stand.

"Well, madam," said I to the one in the witness-box, "what is your trouble?"

Both women began to shout. Cries of "Silence" interrupted them, and Buralli, the police inspector, was able to make a little speech.

"Sahib, these two women have been fighting like devils. At first I thought the town was afire. We have put this one in the witness-box to keep them apart. As sure as they are within reach of one another they fight like tigers, and attack anyone attempting to drag them apart. They are both prisoners."

"Very good. This," pointing my finger at the fat woman in the prisoners' stand, "is accused No. 1. This," at the long gaunt woman in the witness-box, "is accused No. 2. No. 2 will explain what she means by such outrageous conduct."

Meanwhile No. 1 lets down her petticoat, which I observe is girded round her loins for other than peaceful, housekeeping purposes. No. 1, with a snort and a toss of her head, allowed the petticoat to fall, and made other adjustments to her dress and person which enabled me to have a closer look at her without blushing. No. 2 proceeded with her story.

"My second last husband died some two years ago, since when, until a few months ago, I have been a lone respectable widow. Never a word of scandal has been breathed against me until to-day. Four months it is since Ali Hosh began to take an interest in me, and asked my hand in marriage. I refused at first to have anything to do with him, but he pestered me so, that, for the sake of peace, I married him. He had already one wife, the woman present in court, who resented the marriage, and laid herself out to make my life unbearable. At the end of one month I was tired of the perpetual bickering, and begged Ali to divorce me. Though loath to part with me he saw it was the best thing to do, and agreed. Three times he renounced me before witnesses, and I am now a single woman again. This morning his wife came to my house and made use of the most shocking language. She called me a —— and many other bad names. I begged her to go away, but on her making use of the bad expression I have told you of, for a second time, in connection with myself—Me! Me! Me! a most respectable woman—I lost my temper and sailed into her in fine style. I made use of no bad language whatever, and I am at a loss to understand why I have been arrested. I wish you to realise I am the complainant in this case. I demand that this woman be sent to chowky.[2] She is a bad woman, ripe for murder, and my life is unsafe whilst she is at large. What's the use of the British government if it can be flouted by one fat old woman like this!"

Further remarks of accused No. 2 were interrupted by a perfect howl of vituperation from No. 1. Feminine flesh and blood could not stand such a remark as the last to pass unchallenged. I quite understood. There's a time and place for everything. If I wanted to call a woman "a fat old thing" I'd wait until she was sailing for Australia and break it to her gently when the gangway was up and she was too far from the pier—on which I'd be standing—to jump ashore. Women are really braver than men.

Shrieks and hysterical screams. "Ha, you baggage!" "Strumpet yourself; everyone knows you are no better than you ought to be." Interspersed with yells from the policemen to the women to hold their tongues. The row continued: I became quite excited myself, and joined in the mÊlÉe by beating on the table with a heavy ruler and shouting out: "Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Buralli closed this incident by threatening to duck both women in the sea. I ordered No. 2 to proceed. She repeated herself again and again. Mahomed the interpreter gave it as his opinion that she was only wasting my time. I replied that he was much too fond of expressing his opinion, and asked him to keep it to himself. The woman, I said, was to talk until she was tired out, if I sat there all night to listen to her. At it she went again until she had to admit there was nothing more to be said. Meanwhile the other woman was on the verge of a fit. Whenever she opened her mouth three policemen shouted into it. A most effective way of quietening her, but trying to my nerves. Remember the temperature was ninety-eight degrees in the shade.

"Accused No. 2! Have you really finished?"

"Yes, Sahib!"

"Bring a Koran and make her swear she has nothing more to say; and, madam, before you pass your oath, let me assure you that you cannot, like Hastings Sahib, stand astounded at your own moderation. For blasphemous, immodest, immoderate language I have, in the course of a vast experience, only once met your equal, and by a strange coincidence she happens to be accused No. 1. I would caution you that if, in the depths of your bowels, there are any bad words or scurrilous statements left unsaid they had better remain there. One more word from you and I will send you to jail for a month without the option of a fine. Now swear and be careful afterwards to keep your mouth shut!"

She swore.

"Constables! Cast off accused No. 1—let her talk!"

And she did talk. It was like a mad woman praying.

"I have been married to Ali for nineteen years. Some few months ago he became infatuated with this objectionable person, and married her. I called my neighbours and pointed out that Ali was not earning sufficient money to support me and his two children, let alone a new wife, a strumpet who was stealing my husband, and the bread from my children's mouths."

"Madam," I interrupted, seeing that No. 2 was on the verge of hysterics, "try and tell your sad story without calling the other lady names."

"She is everything I have called her and worse, Sahib. Wait until I tell you her private history!"

"No! no! Please get on with your story."

"She is a——"

"Will you be quiet?"

"And every day before she married Ali, and every day since he divorced her——"

"Buralli, for God's sake make this awful woman behave."

Buralli used a few expressions to the lady that I pretended not to understand, but which secretly gave me the greatest inward satisfaction. The woman was actually shocked into getting on with her story. She proceeded:

"Well, the neighbours talked Ali round. He did the right thing, and divorced her. Yesterday I heard he had sent to her for a praying mat. 'What does he want with a praying mat from her,' I said to myself; 'I'll go and see about it.' He works in a little hut beyond the market, and there, sure enough, I found the mat. I took it away and cut it into strips. I carried the strips to this woman's house and I said, 'There's your mat.' I threw the pieces in her face like this—I wish they had been stones. I said to her: 'Take your mat; when my husband wants a praying mat I'll make him a better one than you can. When he wants good food I'll prepare it for him better than you can. When he wants——'"

"Buralli! Stop her!"

"No, Sahib, who can stop a Somal woman? Drown her. Murder her—yes, but as long as she has breath in her body she'll talk."

"Well," I said, "I am going to finish this case. Let her proceed."

On and on she raved. "This is a government office, and here I hope to get justice from an English Sahib, etc., etc." At last she was talked out. I seized my opportunity.

"Do these women live in the same quarter of the town?"

"No, Sahib, in different quarters."

"Well the order of this court is that they be each escorted forth from this building by three police constables to their separate homes. The part of the town in which accused No. 1 lives is out of bounds to No. 2, and she enters therein at peril of being arrested. Vice versÂ, the quarter where No. 2 lives is out of bounds to No. 1, and if found there she will be arrested. Take them out!"

I watched No. 2 being led down the road that runs straight away from my office door. No. 1 was escorted across the square to the left. At intervals the women paused to wave their arms and shout abuse at one another, but were ever hustled on by the policemen. At last the stout lady sat on the road and defied her escort to shift her. They did not try, and there she sat until her rival was out of sight, when she arose and went quietly to her home.

"When a Mussulman has been married to one woman for years," says Buralli, "and then marries a second wife he has spoiled the first one."

"In this particular instance, which calls forth your words of wisdom, Buralli, it appears to me that it was the second wife alone who was in danger of being spoiled—by the old wife," I replied.

"Oh, she is all right," said Buralli, "she'll marry again!"

"A bachelor this time, I think, Buralli."

"Sahib," said Mahomed the interpreter, "he was a wise king who passed the law that a European gentleman should have only one wife."

"Perhaps it was a queen, Mahomed!"

"Sure, it must have been a queen!" said the wise Mahomed.