PHA. (coming forward). Really, I don't hear either the sound of revellers here, as once it was, nor yet the music-girl singing, nor any one else. (Goes towards the door.)

THEU. What's the matter here? What are these people seeking at my house? What do they want? What are they peeping in for?

PHA. I shall proceed to knock at the door. (Knocks.)

Hallo there, unlock the door! Hallo, Tranio! are you going to open it, I say?

THEU. (advancing). What story's this, I wonder?

PHA. (aloud). Are you going to open it, I say? I've come to fetch my master Callidamates.

THEU. Harkye, you lads! what are you doing there? Why are you breaking down that door?

PHA. Our master's at a drinking-party here.

THEU. Your master at a drinking-party here?

PHA. I say so.

THEU. You're carrying the joke too far my lad.

PHA. We've come to fetch him.

THEU. What person? PHA. Our master. Prithee, how often must I tell you?

THEU. There's no one living here my lad; for I do think that you are a decent lad.

PHA. Doesn't a young gentleman called Philolaches live in this house?

SER. (aside). This old fellow's crack-brained, surely.

PHA. You are entirely mistaken, respected sir {1}; for unless he moved from here to-day or yesterday, I know for certain that he's living here.

THEU. Why, no one has been living here for these six months past.

SER. You are dreaming. THEU. What, I?

SER. You. THEU. Don't you be impertinent. Let me speak to the lad. (Pointing to PHANISCUS.)

PHA. No one lives there? O dear—

THEU. It's the fact.

PHA. Really! why, yesterday and the day before, four, five, six days ago, all along, in fact, since his father went abroad from here, eating and drinking have never ceased for a single three days here.

THEU. What is it you say?

PHA. That eating and drinking have never stopped for a single three days here, bringing in wenches, living like Greeks, hiring harpists and music-girls.

THEU. Who was it did this?

PHA. Philolaches. THEU. What Philolaches?

PHA. He whose father I take to be Theuropides.

THEU. (apart). O dear, O dear! I'm utterly undone, if he says the truth in this. I'll continue to question him still. Do you say that this Philolaches, whoever he is, has been in the habit of drinking here together with your master?

PHA. Here, I tell you.

THEU. My lad, contrary to your appearance, you are a fool. See now, please, that you've not perchance been dropping in somewhere for an afternoon's whet {2}, and have been drinking there a little more than was enough.

PHA. What do you mean? THEU. Just what I say; don't be going by mistake to other persons' houses.

PHA. I know where I ought to go, and the place to which I was to come. Philolaches lives here, whose father is Theuropides; and who, after his father went away to trade, made free a music-girl here.

THEU. Philolaches, say you? PHA. Just so; Philematium, I mean.

THEU. For how much? SER. For thirty talents.

PHA. No, by Apollo {3}; you mean minae.

THEU. Do you say that a mistress was purchased for Philolaches for thirty minae?

PHA. I do say so. THEU. And that he gave her her freedom?

PHA. I do say so. THEU. And that after his father had departed hence abroad, he has been carousing here continually with your master?

PHA. I do say so. THEU. Well, has he made purchase of the house next door here?

PHA. I don't say so. THEU. Has he given forty minae, too, to this person, to be as a deposit?

PHA. Nor yet do I say so.

THEU. Ah me! you've proved my ruin!

PHA. Aye, and he has proved the ruin of his father.

THEU. You prophesy the truth! I could wish it false!

PHA. A friend of his father, I suppose?

THEU. Ah me! Upon my faith, you do pronounce him to be a wretched father.

PHA. Why really, this is nothing at all—thirty minae, in comparison with the other expenses he has incurred in good living. He has ruined his father. There's one servant there, a very great scoundrel, Tranio by name; he could even waste the revenue of a Hercules {4}. On my word, I'm sadly distrest for his father; for when he comes to know that things have gone on thus, a hot coal will be scorching his breast, poor man.

THEU. If, indeed, this is the truth.

PHA. What am I to gain, that I should tell a lie? (Knocks again at the door.) Hallo, you! is any one coming to open this door?

SER. Why do you knock in this way, when there's no one in the house?

PHA. I fancy that he's gone elsewhere to carouse. Now then, let's begone. (They move as if going.)

THEU. What, my lad, are you off then? Liberty's the overcoat for your back {5}.

PHA. Nothing have I with which to cover my back, except to pay respect and service to my master.

(Exeunt PHANISCUS and SERVANT.

THEU. (to himself). By my troth, I am undone! What need is there of talking? According to the words I have heard, I surely haven't lately voyaged hence to Aegypt, but even to some desolate land and the most remote shores have I been borne about, so much am I at a loss to know where I now am. But I shall soon know; for see, here's the person of whom my son bought the house.

{Footnote 1: Respected sir)—Ver. 944. "Pater," Literally, "father."}

{Footnote 2: An afternoon's whet)—Ver. 958. "Merendam." According to some, this meal was the same as the "prandium," or "breakfast;" while others take it to have been a slight meal or luncheon, taken at about four or five in the afternoon.}

{Footnote 3: No, by Apollo)—Ver. 965. {Greek: Ma ton Apollo}. He uses a Greek adjuration.}

{Footnote 4: The revenue of a Hercules)—Ver. 976. It was the custom with many to devote to Hercules the tenth part of their possessions. Consequently, the revenues belonging to the Temples of this Deity would be especially large.}

{Footnote 5: The overcoat for your back)—Ver. 982. Schmieder thinks this is said insultingly to Phaniscus. It would, however, appear otherwise: Phaniscus having no "paenula," or "overcoat," on, Theuropides, who thinks him a very worthy fellow, says, "My good fellow, your freedom would make you a very fine overcoat." }