The scene represents a spacious drawing-room in a house in Cavendish Square. The walls are somber in tone, the ceiling dingy, the hangings, though rich, are faded, and altogether the appearance of the room is solemn, formal, and depressing. On the right are folding-doors admitting to a further drawing-room. Beyond these is a single door. The wall on the left is mainly occupied by three sash-windows. The wall facing the spectators is divided by two pilasters into three panels. On the center panel is a large mirror, reflecting the fireplace; on the right hangs a large oil painting—a portrait of Sir William Gower in his judicial wig and robes. On the left hangs a companion picture—a portrait of Miss Gower. In the corners of the room there are marble columns supporting classical busts, and between the doors stands another marble column, upon which is an oil lamp. Against the lower window there are two chairs and a card-table. Behind a further table supporting a lamp stands a threefold screen. The lamps are lighted, but the curtains are not drawn, and outside the windows it is twilight.
[Sir William Gower is seated, near a table, asleep, with a newspaper over his head, concealing his face. Miss Trafalgar Gower is sitting at the further end of a couch, also asleep, and with a newspaper over her head. At the lower end of this couch sits Mrs. de Foenix—Clara—a young lady of nineteen, with a "married" air. She is engaged upon some crochet work. On the other side of the room, near a table, Rose is seated, wearing the look of a boredom which has reached the stony stage. On another couch Arthur sits, gazing at his boots, his hands in his pockets. On the right of this couch stands Captain de Foenix, leaning against the wall, his mouth open, his head thrown back, and his eyes closed. De Foenix is a young man of seven-and-twenty—an example of the heavily-whiskered "swell" of the period. Everybody is in dinner-dress. After a moment or two Arthur rises and tiptoes down to Rose. Clara raises a warning finger and says "Hush!" He nods to her, in assent.]
Arthur.
[On Rose's left—in a whisper.] Quiet, isn't it?
Rose.
[To him, in a whisper.] Quiet! Arthur—-! [Clutching his arm.] Oh, this dreadful half-hour after dinner, every, every evening!
Arthur.
[Creeping across to the right of the table and sitting there.] Grandfather and Aunt Trafalgar must wake up soon. They're longer than usual to-night.
Rose.
[To him, across the table.] Your sister Clara, over there, and Captain de Foenix—when they were courting, did they have to go through this?
Arthur.
Yes.
Rose.
And now that they are married, they still endure it!
Arthur.
Yes.
Rose.
And we, when we are married, Arthur, shall we—-?
Arthur.
Yes. I suppose so.
Rose.
[Passing her hand across her brow.] Phe—ew! [De Foenix, fast asleep, is now swaying, and in danger of toppling over. Clara grasps the situation and rises.]
Clara.
[In a guttural whisper.] Ah, Frederick! no, no, no!
Rose. and Arthur.
[Turning in their chairs.] Eh—what——-? ah—h—h—h!
[As Clara, reaches her husband, he lurches forward into her arms.]
De Foenix.
[His eyes bolting.] Oh! who———<
Clara.
Frederick dear, wake!
De Foenix.
[Dazed.] How did this occur?
Clara.
You were tottering, and I caught you.
De Foenix.
[Collecting his senses.] I wemember. I placed myself in an upwight position, dearwest, to prewent myself dozing.
Clara.
[Sinking on to the couch.] How you alarmed me! [Seeing that Rose is laughing, De Foenix comes down to her.]
De Foenix.
[In a low voice.] Might have been a very serwious accident, Miss Trelawny.
Rose.
[Seating herself on the footstool.] Never mind! [Pointing to the chair she has vacated.] Sit down and talk. [He glances at the old people and shakes his head.] Oh, do, do, do! do sit down, and let us all have a jolly whisper. [He sits.] Thank your Captain Fred. Go on! tell me something—anything; something about the military——
De Foenix.
[Again looking at the old people, then wagging his finger at Rose.] I know; you want to get me into a wow. [Settling himself into his chair.] Howwid girl!
Rose.
[Despairingly.] Oh—h—h!
[There is a brief pause, and then the sound of a street-organ, playing in the distance, is heard. The air is "Ever of Thee."]
Rose.
Hark! [Excitedly.] Hark!
Clara.
Arthur, and De Foenix.
Hush!
Rose.
[Heedlessly.] The song I sang in The Peddler—The Peddler of Marseilles! the song that used to make you cry, Arthur! [They attempt vainly to hush her down, but she continues dramatically, in hoarse whispers.] And then Raphael enters—comes on to the bridge. The music continues, softly. "Raphael, why have you kept me waiting? Man, do you wish to break my heart—[thumping her breast] a woman's hear—r—rt, Raphael?"
[Sir William and Miss Gower suddenly whip off their newspapers and sit erect. Sir William is a grim, bullet-headed old gentleman of about seventy; Miss Gower a spare, prim lady, of gentle manners, verging upon sixty. They stare at each other for a moment, silently.]
Sir William.
What a hideous riot, Trafalgar!
Miss Gower.
Rose.
dear, I hope I have been mistaken—but through my sleep I fancied I could hear you shrieking at the top of your voice.
[Sir William gets on to his feet; all rise, except Rose, who remains seated sullenly.]
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Sir William.
Trafalgar, it is becoming impossible for you and me to obtain repose. [Turning his head sharply.] Ha! is not that a street-organ? [To Miss Gower.] An organ?
Miss Gower.
Undoubtedly. An organ in the Square, at this hour of the evening—singularly out of place!
Sir William.
[Looking round.] Well, well, well, does no one stir?
Rose.
[Under her breath.] Oh, don't stop it!
[Clara goes out quickly. With a great show of activity Arthur and De Foenix hurry across the room and, when there, do nothing.]
Sir William.
[Coming upon Rose and peering down at her.] What are ye upon the floor for, my dear? Have we no cheers? [To Miss Gower—producing his snuff-box.] Do we lack cheers here, Trafalgar?
Miss Gower.
[Going to Rose.] My dear Rose! [Raising her.] Come, come, come, this is quite out of place! Young ladies do not crouch and huddle upon the ground—do they, William?
Sir William.
[Taking snuff.] A moment ago I should have hazarded the opinion that they do not. [Chuckling unpleasantly.] He, he, he!
[Clara returns. The organ music ceases abruptly.]
Clara.
[Coming to Sir William.] Charles was just running out to stop the organ when I reached the hall, grandpa.
Sir William.
Ye'd surely no intention, Clara, of venturing, yourself, into the public street—the open Square——?
Clara.
[Faintly.] I meant only to wave at the man from the door——
Miss Gower.
Oh, Clara, that would hardly have been in place!
Sir William.
[Raising his hands.] In mercy's name, Trafalgar, what is befalling my household?
Miss Gower.
[Bursting into tears.] Oh, William——!
[Rose and Clara creep away and join the others. Miss Gower totters to Sir William and drops her head upon his breast.]
Sir William.
Tut, tut, tut, tut!
Miss Gower.
[Between her sobs.] I—I—I—I know what is in your mind.
Sir William.
[Drawing a long breath.] Ah—h—h—h!
Miss Gower.
Oh, my dear brother, be patient!
Sir William.
Patient!
Miss Gower.
Forgive me; I should have said hopeful. Be hopeful that I shall yet succeed in ameliorating the disturbing conditions which are affecting us so cruelly.
Sm William.
Ye never will, Trafalgar; I've tried.
Miss Gower.
Oh, do not despond already! I feel sure there are good ingredients in Rose's character. [Clinging to him.] In time, William, we shall shape her to be a fitting wife for our rash and unfortunate Arthur——
[He shakes his head.] In time, William, in time!
Sir William.
[Soothing her.] Well, well, well! there, there, there! At least, my dear sister, I am perfectly aweer that I possess in you the woman above all others whose example should compel such a transformation.
Miss Gower.
[Throwing her arms about his neck.] Oh, brother, what a compliment——!
Sir William.
Tut, tut, tut! And now, before Charles sets the card-table, don't you think we had better—eh, Trafalgar?
Miss Gower.
Yes, yes—our disagreeable duty; let us discharge it. [Sir William takes snuff.] Rose, dear, be seated. [To everybody.] The Vice Chancellor has something to say to us. Let us all be seated.
[There is consternation among the young people. All sit.]
Sir William.
[Peering about him.] Are ye seated?
Everybody.
Yes.
Sir William.
What I desire to say is this. When Miss Trelawny took up her residence here, it was thought proper, in the peculiar circumstances of the case, that you, Arthur—[pointing a finger at Arthur] you——
Arthur.
Yes, sir.
Sir William.
That you should remove yourself to the establishment of your sister Clara and her husband in Holies Street, round the corner—
Arthur.
Yes, sir.
Clara.
Yes, grandpa.
De Foenix.
Certainly, Sir William.
Sir William.
Taking your food in this house, and spending other certain hours here, under the surveillance of your great-aunt Trafalgar.
Miss Gower.
Yes, William.
Sir William.
This was considered to be a decorous, and, toward Miss Trelawny, a highly respectful, course to pursue.
Arthur.
Yes, sir.
Miss Gower.
Any other course would have been out of place.
Sir William.
And yet—[again extending a finger at Arthur] what is this that is reported to me?
Arthur.
I don't know, sir.
Sir William.
I hear that ye have on several occasions, at night, after having quitted this house with Captain and Mrs. De Foenix, been seen on the other side of the way, your back against the railings, gazing up at Miss Trelawny's window; and that you have remained in that position for a considerable space of time. Is this true, sir?
Rose.
[Boldly.] Yes, Sir William.
Sir William.
I venture to put a question to my grandson, Miss Trelawny.
Arthur.
Yes, sir, it is quite true.
Sir William.
Then, sir, let me acqueent you that these are not the manners, nor the practices, of a gentleman.
Arthur.
No, sir?
Sir William.
No, sir, they are the manners, and the practices, of a Troubadour.
Miss Gower.
A troubadour in Cavendish Square! quite out of place!
Arthur.
I—I'm very sorry, sir; I—I never looked at it in that light.
Sir William.
[Snuffing.] Ah—h—h—h! ho! pi—i—i—sh!
Arthur.
But at the same time, sir, I dare say—of course I don't speak from precise knowledge—but I dare say there were a good many—a good many——-
Sir William.
Good many—what sir?
Arthur.
A good many very respectable troubadours, sir——
Rose.
[Starting to her feet, heroically and defiantly. ] And what I wish to say, Sir William, is this. I wish to avow, to declare before the world, that Arthur and I have had many lengthy interviews while he has been stationed against those railings over there; I murmuring to him softly from my bedroom window, he responding in tremulous whispers——
Sir William.
[Struggling to his feet]. You—you tell me such things—-! [All rise.]
Miss Gower.
The Square, in which we have resided for years——! Our neighbors——!
Sir William.
[Shaking a trembling hand at Arthur. ] The—the character of my house—-!
Arthur.
Again I am extremely sorry, sir—but these are the only confidential conversations Rose and I now enjoy.
Sir William.
[Turning upon Clara and De Foenix.] And you, Captain de Foenix—an officer and a gentleman! and you, Clara! this could scarcely have been without your cognizance, without, perhaps, your approval——!
[Charles, in plush and powder and wearing luxuriant whiskers, enters, carrying two branch candlesticks with lighted candles.]
Charles.
The cawd-table, Sir William?
Miss Gower.
[Agitatedly.] Yes, yes, by all means, Charles; the card-table, as usual. [To Sir William.] A rubber will comfort you, soothe you——
[Charles carries the candlesticks to the card-table, Sir William and Miss Gower seat themselves upon a couch, she with her arm through his affectionately. Clara and De Foenix get behind the screen; their scared faces are seen occasionally over the top of it. Charles brings the card-table, opens it and arranges it, placing four chairs, which he collects from different parts of the room, round the table. Rose and Arthur talk in rapid undertones.]
Rose.
Infamous! infamous!
Arthur.
Be calm, Rose, dear, be calm!
Rose.
Tyrannical! diabolical! I cannot endure it.
[She throws herself into a chair. He stands behind her, apprehensively, endeavoring to calm her.]
Arthur.
[Over her shoulder.] They mean well, dearest——
Rose.
[Hysterically.] Well! ha, ha, ha!
Arthur.
But they are rather old-fashioned people—-
Rose.
Old-fashioned! they belong to the time when men and women were put to the torture. I am being tortured—mentally tortured——
Arthur.
They have not many more years in this world——-
Rose.
Nor I, at this rate, many more months. They are killing me—like Agnes in The Specter of St. Ives. She expires, in the fourth act, as I shall die in Cavendish Square, painfully, of no recognized disorder—
Arthur.
And anything we can do to make them happy——
Rose.
To make the Vice Chancellor happy! I won't try! I will not! he's a fiend, a vampire-!
Arthur.
Oh, hush!
Rose.
[Snatching up Sir William's snuff-box, which he has left upon the table.] His snuff-box! I wish I could poison his snuff, as Lucrezia Borgia would have done. She would have removed him within two hours of my arrival—I mean, her arrival. [Opening the snuff-box and mimicing Sir William.] And here he sits and lectures me, and dictates to me! to Miss Trelawny! "I venture to put a question to my grandson, Miss Trelawny!" Ha, ha! [Talcing a pinch of snuffy thoughtlessly but vigorously.] "Yah—h—h—h! pish! Have we no cheers? do we lack cheers here, Trafalgar?" [Suddenly.] Oh!
Arthur.
What have you done?
Rose.
[In suspense, replacing the snuff-box.] The snuff—-!
Arthur.
Rose.
dear!
Rose.
[Putting her handkerchief to her nose, and rising.] Ah——-!
[Charles, having prepared the card-table, and arranged the candlesticks upon it, has withdrawn. Miss Gower and Sir William now rise.]
Miss Gower.
The table is prepared, William. Arthur, I assume you would prefer to sit and contemplate Rose——?
Arthur.
Thank you, aunt.
[Rose sneezes violently, and is led away, helplessly, by Arthur.]
Miss Gower.
[To Rose.] Oh, my dear child! [Looking round.] Where are Frederick and Clara?
[Appearing from behind the screen, shamefacedly.] Here.
[The intending players cut the pack and seat themselves. Sir William sits facing Captain de Foenix, Miss Gower on the right of the table, and Clara on the left.]
Arthur.
[While this is going on, to Rose.] Are you in pain, dearest? Rose!
Rose.
Agony!
Arthur.
Pinch your upper lip—-
[She sneezes twice, loudly, and sinks back upon the couch.]
Sir William.
[Testily.] Sssh! sssh! sssh! this is to be whist, I hope.
Miss Gower.
Rose! Rose! young ladies do not sneeze quite so continuously. [De Foenix is dealing.]
Sir William.
[With gusto.] I will thank you, Captain de Foenix, to exercise your intelligence this evening to its furthest limit.
De Foenix.
I'll twy, sir.
Sir William.
[Laughing unpleasantly.] He, he, he! last night, sir——
Clara.
Poor Frederick had toothache last night, grandpa.
Sir William.
[Tartly.] Whist is whist, Clara, and toothache is toothache. We will endeavor to keep the two things distinct, if you please. He, he!
Miss Gower.
Your interruption was hardly in place, Clara, dear,—ah!
De Foenix.
Hey! what?
Miss Gower.
A misdeal.
Clara.
[Faintly.] Oh, Frederick!
Sir William.
[Partly rising.] Captain de Foenix!
De Foenix.
I—I'm fwightfully gwieved, sir——
[The cards are re-dealt by Miss Gower. Rose now gives way to a violent paroxysm of sneezing. Sir William rises.]
Miss Gower.
William——-! [The players rise.]
Sir William.
[To the players.] Is this whist, may I ask?
[They sit.]
Sir William.
[Standing.] Miss Trelawny—
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Rose.
[Weakly.] I—I think I had better—what d'ye call it?—withdraw for a few moments.
Sir William.
[Sitting again.] Do so.
[Rose disappears. Arthur is leaving the room with her.]
Miss Gower.
[Sharply.] Arthur! where are you going?
Arthur.
[Returning promptly.] I beg your pardon, aunt.
Miss Gower.
Really, Arthur—-!
Sir William.
[Rapping upon the table.] Tsch, tsch, tsch!
Miss Gower.
Forgive me, William. [They play.]
Sir William.
[Intent upon his cards.] My snuff-box, Arthur; be so obleeging as to search for it.
Arthur.
[Brightly.] I'll bring it to you, sir. It is on the——
Sir William.
Keep your voice down, sir. We are playing—[emphatically throwing down a card, as fourth player] whist. Mine.
Miss Gower.
[Picking up the trick.] No, William.
Sir William.
[Glaring.] No!
Miss Gower.
Clara.
played a trump.
De Foenix.
Yes, sir, Clara played a trump—the seven——
Sir William.
I will not trouble you, Captain de Foenix, to echo Miss Gower's information.
De Foenix.
Vevy sowwy, sir.
Miss Gower.
[Gently.] It was a little out of place, Frederick.
Sir William.
Sssh! whist. [Arthur is now on Sir William's right, with the snuff-box.] Eh? what? [Taking the snuff-box from Arthur.] Oh, thank ye. Much obleeged, much obleeged.
[Arthur walks away and picks up a book. Sir William turns in his chair, watching Arthur.]
Miss Gower.
You to play, William. [A pause.] William, dear——?
[She also turns, following the direction of his gaze. Laying down his cards, Sir William leaves the card-table and goes over to Arthur slowly. Those at the card-table look on apprehensively.]
Sir William.
[In a queer voice.] Arthur.
Arthur.
[Shutting his book.] Excuse me, grandfather.
Sir William.
Ye—ye're a troublesome young man, Arthur.
Arthur.
I—I don't mean to be one, sir.
Sir William.
As your poor father was, before ye. And if you are fool enough to marry, and to beget children, doubtless your son will follow the same course. [Taking snuff.] Y—y—yes, but I shall be dead 'n' gone by that time, it's likely. Ah—h—h—h! pi—i—i—sh! I shall be sitting in the Court Above by that time—- [From the adjoining room comes the sound of Rose's voice singing "Ever of Thee" to the piano. There is great consternation at the card-table. Arthur is moving towards the folding-doors, Sir William detains him.] No, no, let her go on, I beg. Let her continue. [Returning to the card-table, with deadly calmness.] We will suspend our game while this young lady performs her operas.
Miss Gower.
[Rising and taking his arm.] William——!
Sir William.
[In the same tone.] I fear this is no' longer a comfortable home for ye, Trafalgar; no longer the home for a gentlewoman. I apprehend that in these days my house approaches somewhat closely to a Pandemonium. [Suddenly taking up the cards, in a fury, and flinging them across the room.] And this is whist—whist——!
[Clara and De Foenix rise and stand together. Arthur pushes open the upper part of the folding-doors.]
Arthur.
Rose.
stop! Rose!
[The song ceases and Rose appears.]
Rose.
[At the folding-doors.] Did anyone call?
Arthur.
You have upset my grandfather!
Miss Gower.
Miss Trelawny, how—how dare you do anything so—so out of place?
Rose.
There's a piano in there, Miss Gower.
Miss Gower.
You are acquainted with the rule of this household—no music when the Vice Chancellor is within doors.
Rose.
But there are so many rules. One of them is that you may not sneeze.
Miss Gower.
Ha! you must never answer—-
Rose.
No, that's another rule.
Miss Gower.
Oh, for shame!
Arthur.
You see, aunt, Rose is young, and—and—you make no allowance for her, give her no chance——
Miss Gower.
Great Heaven! what is this you are charging me with?
Arthur.
I don't think the "rules" of this house are fair to Rose I oh, I must say it—they are horribly unfair!
Miss Gower.
[Clinging to Sir William.] Brother!
Sir William.
Trafalgar! [Putting her aside and advancing to Arthur.] Oh, indeed, sir! and so you deliberately accuse your great-aunt of acting toward ye and Miss Trelawny mala fide——
Arthur.
Grandfather, what I intended to——
Sir William.
I will afford ye the opportunity of explaining what ye intended to convey, downstairs, at once, in the library. [A general shudder.] Obleege me by following me, sir. [To Clara and De Foenix.] Captain de Foenix, I see no prospect of any further social relaxation this evening. You and Clara will do me the favor of attending in the hall, in readiness to take this young man back to Holies Street. [Giving his arm to Miss Gower.] My dear sister—— [To Arthur.] Now, sir.
[Sir William and Miss Gower go out Arthur comes to Rose and kisses her.]
Arthur.
Good-night, dearest: Oh, good-night! Oh, Rose!
Sir William.
[Outside the door.] Mr. Arthur Gower!
Arthur.
I am coming, sir—- [He goes out quickly.]
De Foenix.
[Approaching Rose and taking her hand sympathetically.] Haw——-! I—weally—haw!——
Rose.
Yes, I know what you would say. Thank you, Captain Fred.
Clara.
[Embracing Rose.] Never mind! we will continue to let Arthur out at night as usual. I am a married woman! [joining De Foenix], and a married woman will turn, if you tread upon her often enough——-!
[De Foenix and Clara depart.]
Rose.
[Pacing the room, shaking her hands in the air desperately.] Oh—h—h! ah—h—h!
[The upper part of the folding-doors opens, and Charles appears.]
Charles.
[Mysteriously.] Miss Rose—-
Rose.
What—
Charles.
[Advancing.] I see Sir William h'and the rest descend the stairs. I 'ave been awaitin' the chawnce of 'andin' you this, Miss Rose.
[He produces a dirty scrap of paper, wet and limp, with writing upon it, and gives it to her.]
Rose.
[Handling it daintly.] Oh, it's damp!—
Charles.
Yes, miss; a little gentle shower 'ave been takin' place h'outside—'eat spots, cook says.
Rose.
[Reading.] Ah! from some of my friends. Charles.
[Behind his hand.] Perfesshunnal, Miss Rose?
Rose.
[Intent upon the note.] Yes—yes—-
Charles.
I was reprimandin' the organ, miss, when I observed them lollin' against the square railin's examinin' h'our premises, and they wentured for to beckon me. An egstremely h'affable party, miss. [Hiding his face.] Ho! one of them caused me to laff!
Rose.
[Excitedly.] They want to speak to me—[referring to the note] to impart something to me of an important nature. Oh, Charles, I know not what to do!
Charles.
[Languishingly.] Whatever friends may loll against them railin's h'opposite, Miss Rose, you 'ave one true friend in this 'ouse—Chawles Gibbons——
Rose.
Thank you, Charles. Mr. Briggs, the butler, is sleeping out to-night, isn't he?
Charles.
Yes, miss, he 'ave leave to sleep at his sister's. I 'appen to know he 'ave gone to Cremorne.
Rose.
Then, when Sir William and Miss Gower have retired, do you think you could let me go forth; and wait at the front door while I run across and grant my friends a hurried interview?
Charles.
Suttingly, miss.
Rose.
If it reached the ears of Sir William, or Miss Gower, you would lose your place, Charles!
Charles.
[Haughtily.] I'm aweer, miss; but Sir William was egstremely rood to me dooring dinner, over that mis'ap to the ontray——- [A bell rings violently.] S'william!
[He goes out. The rain is heard pattering against the window panes. Rose goes from one window to another, looking out. It is now almost black outside the windows.]
Rose.
[Discovering her friends.] Ah! yes, yes! ah—h—h—h! [She snatches an antimacassar from a chair and jumping onto the couch, waves it frantically to those outside.] The dears! the darlings! the faithful creatures——! [Listening.] Oh———!
[She descends, in a hurry, and flings the antimacassar under the couch, as Miss Gower enters. At the same moment there is a vivid flash of lightning.]
Miss Gower.
[Startled.] Oh, how dreadful! [To Rose, frigidly.] The Vice Chancellor has felt the few words he has addressed to Arthur, and has retired for the night. [There is a roll of thunder. Rose alarmed, Miss Gower clings to a chair.] Mercy on us! Go to bed, child, directly. We will all go to our beds, hoping to awake to-morrow in a meeker and more submissive spirit. [Kissing Rose upon the brow.] Good-night. [Another flash of lightning.] Oh——! Don't omit to say your prayers, Rose—and in a simple manner. I always fear that, from your peculiar training, you may declaim them. That is so out of place—oh!
[Another roll of thunder. Rose goes across the room, meeting Charles, who enters carrying a lantern. They exchange significant glances, and she disappears.]
Charles.
[Coming to Miss Gower.] I am now at liberty to accompany you round the 'ouse, ma'am——[A flash of lightning.]
Miss Gower.
Ah——-! [Her hand to her heart.] Thank you,
Charles—but to-night I must ask you to see that everything is secure, alone. This storm—so very seasonable; but, from girlhood, I could never—-
[A roll of thunder.] Oh, good-night!
[She flutters away. The rain beats still more violently upon the window panes.]
Charles.
[Glancing at the window.] Ph—e—e—w! Great 'evans!
[He is dropping the curtains at the window when Rose appears at the folding-doors.]
Rose.
[In a whisper.] Charles!
Charles.
Miss?
Rose.
[Coming into the room, distractedly.] Miss Gower has gone to bed.
Charles.
Yes, miss—oh——! [A flash of lightning.]
Rose.
Oh! my friends! my poor friends!
Charles.
H'and Mr. Briggs at Cremorne! Reelly, I should 'ardly advise you to wenture h'out, miss——
Rose.
Out! no! Oh, but get them in!
Charles.
In, Miss Rose! indoors!
Rose.
Under cover—— [A roll of thunder.] Oh!
[Wringing her hands.] They are my friends! is it a rule that I am never to see a friend, that I mayn't even give a friend shelter in a violent storm? [To Charles.] Are you the only one up?
Charles.
I b'lieve so, miss. Any'ow the wimming-servants is quite h'under my control.
Rose.
Then tell my friends to be deathly quiet, and to creep—to tip-toe— [The rain strikes the window again. She picks up the lantern which Charles has deposited upon the floor, and gives it to him.]
Make haste! I'll draw the curtains—[He hurries out. She goes from window to window, dropping the curtains, talking to herself excitedly as she does so.] My friends! my own friends! ah! I'm not to sneeze in this house! nor to sing! or breathe, next! wretches! oh, my! wretches! [Blowing out the candles and removing the candlesticks to the table, singing, under her breath, wildly.] "Ever of thee I'm fondly dreaming——" [Mimicking Sir William again.] "What are ye upon the floor for, my dear? Have we no cheers? do we lack cheers here, Trafalgar——?" [Charles returns.]
Charles.
[To those who follow him.] Hush! [To Rose.] I
discovered 'em clustered in the doorway——
[There is a final peal of thunder as Avonia, Gadd, Colpoys, and Tom Wrench enter, somewhat diffidently. They are apparently soaked to their skins, and are altogether in a deplorable condition. Avonia alone has an umbrella, which she allows to drip upon the carpet, but her dress and petticoats are bedraggled, her finery limp, her hair lank and loose.]
Rose.
'Vonia!
Avonia.
[Coming to her, and embracing her fervently.] Oh, ducky, ducky, ducky! oh, but what a storm!
Rose.
Hush! how wet you are! [Shaking hands with Gadd] Ferdinand—[crossing to Colpoys and shaking hands with him] Augustus—[shaking hands with Tom] Tom-Wrench—
Avonia.
[To Charles.] Be so kind as to put my umbrella on the landing, will you? Oh, thank you very much, I'm sure.
[Charles withdraws with the umbrella. Gadd and Colpoys shake the rain from their hats on to the carpet and furniture.]
Tom.
[Quietly, to Rose.] It's a shame to come down on you in this way. But they would do it, and I thought I'd better stick to 'em.
Gadd.
[Who is a little flushed and unsteady.] Ha! I shall remember this accursed evening.
Avonia.
Oh, Ferdy——!
Rose.
Hush! you must be quiet. Everybody has gone to bed, and I—I'm not sure I'm allowed to receive visitors——
Avonia.
Oh!
Gadd.
Then we are intruders?
Rose.
I mean, such late visitors.
[Colpoys has taken off his coat, and is shaking it vigorously.]
Avonia.
Stop it, Augustus! ain't I wet enough? [To Rose.] Yes, it is latish, but I so wanted to inform you—here—[bringing Gadd forward] allow me to introduce —my husband.
Rose.
Oh! no!
Avonia.
[Laughing merrily.] Yes, ha, ha, ha!
Rose.
Sssh, sssh, sssh!
Avonia.
I forgot. [To Gadd.] Oh, darling Ferdy, you're positively soaked! [To Rose.] Do let him take his coat off, like Gussy——
Gadd.
[Jealously.] 'Vonia, not so much of the Gussy!
Avonia.
There you are, flying out again I as if Mr. Colpoys wasn't an old friend!
Gadd.
Old friend or no old friend——
Rose.
[Diplomatically.] Certainly, take your coat off, Ferdinand.
[Gadd joins Colpoys; they spread out their coats upon the couch.]
Rose.
[Feeling Tom's coat sleeve.] And you?
Tom.
[After glancing at the others—quietly.] No, thank you.
Avonia.
.
[Sitting.] Yes, dearie, Ferdy and I were married yesterday.
Rose.
[Sitting. ] Yesterday!
Avonia.
.
Yesterday morning. We're on our honeymoon now. You know, the "Wells" shut a fortnight after you left us, and neither Ferdy nor me could fix anything, just for the present, elsewhere; and as we hadn't put by during the season—you know it never struck us to put by during the season—we thought we'd get married.
Rose.
Oh, yes.
Avonia.
.
You see, a man and his wife can live almost on what keeps one, rent and ceterer; and so, being deeply attached, as I tell you, we went off to church and did the deed. Oh, it will be such a save. [Looking up at Gadd coyly.] Oh, Ferdy———!
Gadd.
[Laying his hand upon her head, dreamily.] Yes, child, I confess I love you—.
Colpoys
[Behind Rose, imitating Gadd.] Child, I confess I adore you.
Tom.
[Taking Colpoys by the arm and swinging him away from Rose.] Enough of that, Colpoys!
Colpoys.
What!
Rose.
[Rising.] Hush!
Tom.
[Under his breath.] If you've never learnt how to behave——
Colpoys.
Don't you teach behavior, sir, to a gentleman who plays a superior line of business to yourself! [Muttering. ] 'Pon my soul! rum start!
Avonia.
[Going to Rose.] Of course I ought to have written to you, dear, properly, but you remember the weeks it takes me to write a letter—- [Gadd sits in the chair Avonia has just quitted; she returns and seats herself upon his knee.]And so I said to Ferdy, over tea, "Ferdy, let's spend a bit of our honeymoon' in doing the West End thoroughly, and going and seeing where Rose Trelawny lives." And we thought it only nice and polite to invite Tom Wrench and Gussy——
Gadd.
'Vonia, much less of the Gussy!
Avonia.
[Kissing Gadd.] Jealous boy! [Beaming.] Oh, and we have done the West End thoroughly. There, I've never done the West End so thoroughly in my life! And when we got outside your house I couldn't resist. [Her hand on Gadd's shirt sleeve.] Oh, gracious! I'm sure you'll catch your death, my darling—-!
Rose.
I think I can get him some wine. [To Gadd.] Will you take some wine, Ferdinand?
[Gadd rises, nearly upsetting Avonia.]
Avonia.
Ferdy!
Gadd.
I thank you. [ With a wave of the hand.] Anything, anything——
Avonia.
[To Rose.] Anything that goes with stout, dear.
Rose.
[At the door, turning to them.] 'Vonia—boys—be very still.
Avonia.
Trust us!
[Rose tiptoes out. Colpoys is now at the card-table, cutting a pack of cards which remains there.]
Colpoys.
[To Gadd.] Gadd, I'll see you for pennies.
Gadd.
[Loftily.] Done, sir, with you!
[They seat themselves at the table, and cut for coppers. Tom is walking about, surveying the room.]
Avonia.
[Taking off her hat and wiping it with her handkerchief.] Well, Thomas, what do you think of it?
Tom.
This is the kind of chamber I want for the first act of my comedy——-
Avonia.
Oh, lor', your head's continually running on your comedy. Half this blessed evening——
Tom.
I tell you, I won't have doors stuck here, there, and everywhere; no, nor windows in all sorts of impossible places!
Avonia.
Oh, really! Well, when you do get your play accepted, mind you see that Mr. Manager gives you exactly what you ask for—won't you?
Tom.
You needn't be satirical, if you are wet. Yes, I will I [Pointing to the left.] Windows on the one side [pointing to the right], doors on the other—just where they should be, architecturally. And locks on the doors, real locks, to work; and handles—to turn! [Rubbing his hands together gleefully.] Ha, ha! you wait! wait—!
[Rose re-enters, with a plate of biscuits in her hand, followed by Charles, who carries a decanter of sherry and some wine-glasses.]
Rose.
Here, Charles——-
[Charles places the decanter and the glasses on the table.]
Gadd.
[Whose luck has been against him, throwing himself, sulkily, onto the couch.] Bah! I'll risk no further stake.
Colpoys.
Just because you lose sevenpence in coppers you go on like this!
[Charles, turning from the table, faces Colpoys.]
======== below this needs correction ==
Colpoys.
[Tearing his hair, and glaring at Charles wildly.] Ah—h—h, I am ruined! I have lost my all! my children are beggars——!
Charles.
Ho, ho, ho! he, he, he!
Rose.
Hush, hush! [Charles goes out laughing. To everybody;]Sherry?
Gadd.
[Rising.] Sherry!
[Avonia, Colpoys; and Gadd gather round the table, and help themselves to sherry and biscuits.]
Rose.
[To Tom.] Tom, won't you——-?
Tom.
[Watching Gadd anxiously.] No, thank you. The fact is, we—we have already partaken of refreshments, once or twice during the evening——
[Colpoys and Avonia, each carrying a glass of wine and munching a biscuit, go to the couch, where they sit.]
Gadd.
[Pouring out sherry—singing.] "And let me the canakin clink, clink—-"
Rose.
[Coming to him.] Be quiet, Gadd!
Colpoys.
[Raising his glass.] The Bride!
Rose.
[Turning, kissing her hand to Avonia.] Yes, yes [Gadd hands Rose his glass; she puts her lips to it.] The Bride!
[She returns the glass to Gadd.]
Gadd.
[Sitting.] My bride!
[Tom, from behind the table, unperceived, takes the decanter and hides it under the table, then sits. Gadd, missing the decanter, contents himself with the biscuits.]
Avonia.
Well, Rose, my darling, we've been talking about nothing but ourselves. How are you getting along here?
Rose.
Getting along? oh, I—I don't fancy I'm getting along very well, thank you!
Colpoys. and Avonia.
Not——!
Gadd.
[His mouth full of biscuit.] Not——!
Rose.
[Sitting by the card-table.] No, boys; no 'Vonia. The truth is, it isn't as nice as you'd think it. I suppose the Profession had its drawbacks—mother used to say so—but [raising her arms] one could fly. Yes, in Brydon Crescent one was a dirty little London sparrow, perhaps; but here, in this grand square——! Oh, it's the story of the caged bird, over again.
Avonia.
A love-bird, though.
Rose.
Poor Arthur? yes, he's a dear. [Rising.] But the Gowers—the old Gowers! the Gowers! the Gowers I [She paces the room, beating her hands together. In her excitement, she ceases to whisper, and gradually becomes loud and voluble. The others, following her leady chatter noisily—excepting Tom, who sits thoughtfully, looking before him.]
Rose.
The ancient Gowers! the venerable Gowers!
Avonia.
You mean, the grandfather——-?
Rose.
And the aunt—the great-aunt—the great bore of a great-aunt! The very mention of 'em makes something go "tap, tap, tap, tap" at the top of my head.
Avonia.
Oh, I am sorry to hear this. Well, upon my word——!
Rose.
Would you believe it? 'Vonia—boys—you'll never believe it! I mayn't walk out with Arthur alone, nor see him here alone. I mayn't sing; no, nor sneeze even——
Avonia.
[Shrilly.]Not sing or sneeze!
Colpoys.
[Indignantly. ] Not sneeze!
Rose.
No, nor sit on the floor—the floor!
Avonia.
Why, when we shared rooms together, you were always on the floor!
Gadd.
[Producing a pipe, and knocking out the ashes on the heel of his boot.] In Heaven's name, what kind of house can this be!
Avonia.
I wouldn't stand it, would you, Ferdinand?
Gadd.
[Loading his pipe.] Gad, no!
Avonia.
[To Colpoys.] Would you, Gus, dear?
Gadd.
[Under his breath.] Here! not so much of the Gus dear——
Avonia.
[To Colpoys.] Would you?
Colpoys.
No, I'm blessed if I would, my darling.
Gadd.
[His pipe in his mouth.] Mr. Colpoys! less of the darling!
Avonia.
[Rising.] Rose, don't you put up with it! [Striking the top of the card-table vigorously.] I say, don't you stand it! [Embracing Rose.] You're an independent girl, dear; they came to you, these people; not you to them, remember.
Rose.
[Sitting on the couch.] Oh, what can I do? I can't do anything.
Avonia.
Can't you! [Coming to Gadd.] Ferdinand, advise her. You tell her how to——
Gadd.
[Who has risen.] Miss Bunn—Mrs. Gadd, you have been all over Mr. Colpoys this evening, ever since we——
Avonia.
[Angrily, pushing him back into his chair.] Oh, don't be a silly!
Gadd.
Madam!
Avonia.
[Returning to Colpoys.] Gus, Ferdinand's foolish. Come and talk to Rose, and advise her, there's a dear boy——
[Colpoys rises; she takes his arm, to lead him to Rose. At that moment Gadd advances to Colpoys and slaps his face violently.]
Colpoys.
Hey——!
Gadd.
Miserable viper!
[The two men close. Tom runs to separate them. Rose rises with a cry of terror. There is a struggle and general uproar. The card-table is overturned, with a crash, and Avonia utters a long and piercing shriek. Then the house-bells are heard ringing violently.]
Rose.
Oh——! [The combatants part; all look scared. At the door, listening.] They are moving—coming! Turn out the——!
[She turns out the light at the table. The room is in half-light as Sir William enters, cautiously, closely followed by Miss Gower. They are both in dressing-gowns and slippers; Sir William carries a thick stick and his bedroom candle. Rose is standing by a chair; Gadd, Avonia, Colpoys, and Tom are together.]
Sir William.
Miss Trelawny——!
Miss Gower.
Rose.
——! [Running behind the screen.] Men!
Sir William.
Who are these people?
Rose.
[Advancing a step or two.] Some friends of mine who used to be at the "Wells" have called upon me, to inquire how I am getting on.
[Arthur enters, quickly.]
Arthur.
[Looking round.] Oh! Rose——!
Sir William.
[Turning upon him.] Ah—h—h—h! How come you here?
Arthur.
I was outside the house. Charles let me in, knowing something was wrong.
Sir William.
[Peering into his face.] Troubadouring-?
Arthur.
Troubadouring; yes, sir. [To Rose.] Rose, what is this?
Sir William.
[Fiercely.] No, sir, this is my affair. [Placing his candlestick on the table.] Stand aside! [Raising his stick furiously.] Stand aside!
[Arthur moves to the right.]
Miss Gower.
[Over the screen.] William——
Sir William.
Hey?
Miss Gower.
Your ankles—-
Sir William.
[Adjusting his dressing-gown.] I beg your pardon. [To Arthur.] Yes, I can answer your question. [Painting his stick, first at Rose, then at the group.] Some friends of that young woman's connected with—the playhouse, have favored us with a visit, for the purpose of ascertaining how she is—getting on. [Touching Gadd's pipe, which is lying at his feet, with the end of his stick.] A filthy tobacco-pipe. To whom does it belong? whose is it?
[Rose picks it up and passes it to Gadd, bravely.]
Rose.
It belongs to one of my friends.
Sir William.
[Taking Gadd's empty wine-glass and holding it to his nose.] Phu, yes! In brief, a drunken debauch. [To the group.] So ye see, gentlemen—[to Avonia] and you, madam; [to Arthur] and you, sir; you see, all of ye, [sinking into a chair, and coughing from exhaustion] exactly how Miss Trelawny is getting on.
Miss Gower.
[Over the screen.] William——
Sir William.
What is it?
Miss Gower.
Your ankles—-
Sir William.
[Leaping to his feet, in a frenzy.] Bah!
Miss Gower.
Oh, they seem so out of place!
Sir William.
[Flourishing his stick—to the group down L. ] Begone! a set of garish, dissolute gypsies! begone!
[Gadd, Avonia, Colpoys, and Wrench gather, the men hastily putting on their coats, etc.]
Avonia.
Where's my umbrella?
Gadd.
A hand with my coat here!
Colpoys.
'Pon my soul! London artists——!
Avonia.
We don't want to remain where we're not heartily welcome, I can assure everybody.
Sir William.
Open windows! let in the air!
Avonia.
[To Rose, who is standing above the wreck of the card-table.] Good-bye, my dear——
Rose.
No, no, 'Vonia. Oh, don't leave me behind you!
Arthur.
Rose.
Rose.
Oh, I'm very sorry, Arthur. [To Sir William.] Indeed, I am very sorry, Sir William. But you are right—gypsies—gypsies! [To Arthur.] Yes, Arthur, if you were a gypsy, as I am, as these friends o' mine are, we might be happy together. But I've seen enough of your life, my dear boy, to know that I'm no wife for you. I should only be wretched, and would make you wretched; and the end, when it arrived, as it very soon would, would be much as it is to-night-!
Arthur.
[Distractedly.] You'll let me see you, talk to you, to-morrow, Rose?
Rose.
No, never!
Sir William.
[Sharply.] You mean that?
Rose.
[Facing him.] Oh, don't be afraid. I give you my word.
Sir William.
[Gripping her hand.] Thank ye. Thank ye.
Tom.
[Quietly to Arthur.] Mr. Gower, come and see me to morrow——- [He moves away to the door.]
Rose.
[Turning to Avonia, Gadd, and Colpoys.] I'm ready——
Miss Gower.
[Coming from behind the screen to the back of the couch.] Not to-night, child! not to-night! where will you go?
Avonia.
[Holding Rose.] To her old quarters in Brydon Crescent. Send her things after her, if you please.
Miss Gower.
And then——?
Rose.
Then back to the "Wells" again, Miss Gower! back to the "Wells"——!
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
