LEAVING HOME THE JOURNEY.

One of the first trying experiences a missionary has to endure is that of tearing himself away from his family. The expression "tearing himself away" is not describing too strongly the painful feelings of such an ordeal, for to many this is no trifling experience: it is like tearing one's heartstrings to undergo it, and he feels almost as though he were purposelessly inflicting most cruel torture upon his loved ones regardless of their appeals for mercy. But feeling that it is a call from the Lord that prompts him to do this, he is strengthened to endure the severe but fortunately short trial. One can perhaps imagine to some extent how painful was such a parting as the one described by the late President Heber C. Kimball. It occurred about the same time as the incident related in the previous chapter in the experience of President John Taylor when called to fill a mission to England. Apostle Kimball was called to the same mission. It was but a short time after the Saints first settled in Nauvoo, Illinois, and they were poor and destitute, and owing to exposure and an unhealthy place of refuge these missionaries and their families were in poor health. Elder Kimball depicts his leave-taking as follows:

"During the night of August 23rd, 1839, my son, David Patten, was born in Commerce, in the log cabin I had put up at the end of the Bozier house. We had a heavy thunderstorm that night, but the hand of the Lord was over us. As soon as my wife was able I moved my family into the new log house that I had built.

"September 14th, President Brigham Young left his home at Montrose to start on the mission to England. He was so sick that he was unable to go to the Mississippi, a distance of thirty rods, without assistance. After he had crossed the river he rode behind Israel Barlow on his horse to my house, where he continued sick until the 18th. He left his wife sick with a babe only three weeks old, and all his other children were sick and unable to wait upon each other. Not one soul of them was able to go to the well for a pail of water, and they were without a second suit to their backs, for the mob in Missouri had taken nearly all he had. On the 17th Sister Mary Ann Young got a boy to carry her up in his wagon to my house, that she might nurse and comfort Brother Brigham to the hour of starting.

"September 18th, Charles Hubbard sent his boy with a wagon and span of horses to my house; our trunks were put into the wagon by some brethren; I went to my bed and shook hands with my wife who was then shaking with a chill, having two children lying sick by her side; I embraced her and my children, and bade them farewell. My only well child was little Heber P., and it was with difficulty he could carry a couple of quarts of water at a time, to assist in quenching their thirst.

"It was with difficulty we got into the wagon, and started down the hill about ten rods; it appeared to me as though my very inmost parts would melt within me at leaving my family in such a condition, as it were almost in the arms of death. I felt as though I could not endure it. I asked the teamster to stop, and said to Brother Brigham, 'This is pretty tough, isn't it; let's rise up and give them a cheer.' We arose, and swinging our hats three times over our heads, shouted: 'Hurrah, hurrah for Israel.' Vilate, hearing the noise, arose from her bed and came to the door. She had a smile on her face. Vilate and Mary Ann Young cried out to us: 'Good by, God bless you.' We returned the compliment, and then told the driver to go ahead. After this I felt a spirit of joy and gratitude, having had the satisfaction of seeing my wife standing upon her feet, instead of leaving her in bed, knowing well that I should not see them again for two or three years."

Usually missionaries go to their fields of labor in small companies, and after the acute pangs of parting with loved ones are somewhat assuaged they enjoy their travels. The new scenes constantly coming within view help to divert their minds from the thoughts of home. If they have a long distance to travel to reach their destination, and especially when they have to cross the ocean, they find time to seriously consider the nature of the duty before them. Then they begin, if they have not done so before, to realize the necessity of depending upon the Lord for guidance and aid.

If they have to cross the great deep and should they become sea-sick they are liable to feel that their troubles are increasing in number and severity; but if their sea-sickness is of an extreme type it banishes all other troubles. They have no hope nor fear of the future and the past is entirely forgotten. All they can think of is the awful present. The more severe their sickness the sooner it is ended, and their recovery is so rapid that it causes astonishment, and they wonder how it was possible for them to feel so ill through such a trifling cause. In a few days nothing is left of the dreadful sensation but a recollection as of an unpleasant dream.