The king hears Barbarsa and Yaccombourse discourse on the plot—They are impeached by Peter at a moucherait—Condemned and executed—Nicor submits, and is released.

I HAD now several important irons in the fire, and all to be struck whilst hot; there was the securing religion, sowing sedition amongst the enemy, tripping up the heels of two ministers and a she-favourite, and transporting artillery in the air some hundred leagues; either of which failing might have been of exceeding bad consequence; but as the affair of the ministers now lay next at hand, I entered upon that in the following manner.

The king coming to me the next day, as by appointment, and having assured me he had hinted nothing to any one, no, not to Barbarsa or Yaccom-bourse, told me that Barbarsa had given orders for stopping Nasgig and his men; and had persuaded him not to be in such haste in suffering me to do as I pleased, but to show his authority and keep me under. Says I, "Your majesty's safety is so near my heart, that even want of confidence in me shall not make me decline my endeavours to serve you. But have you suffered him to stop Nasgig?"—"No," says he, "Nasgig was gone some time before he sent."—"Oh, sir!" says I, "you do not half know the worth of that man! but you shall hereafter, and will reward him accordingly. But now, sir," says I, "to what we meet upon; if you will, as I told you, but comply with me for three days, without asking questions, I will show you the greatest traitors in your dominions, and put them into your power too." He promised me again he would. "Then, sir," says I, "you must not send to Yaccombourse to sup with you to-night."—"Nor lie with me?"—"No," says I.—"Pray, what hurt can arise to my affairs from her?" says he.—"Sir," says I, "you promised me to ask no questions."—"Agreed, agreed!" says he.—"Then," says I, "please to meet me at Nasgig's lodgings without being perceived, if you can; at least without notice taken."—"Good," says he.—"And when you are there, see or hear what you will, you must not say a word till you are retired again." All which the king engaging to perform, we parted till evening.

I called Maleck, and asked if he knew the way to Nasgig's lodging. He told me, very well: and, the time being come, he conducted me thither, where I had not waited long before the king came, most of the court being in bed. I desired the king to stay in the outer room till I went into the bedchamber two or three times, and I thought we must have put it off till another night: but listening once again, I found they were come, so I called the king, and led him to the place, entreating him, whatever he heard, to keep his patience or he would ruin all. We first heard much amorous discourse between Barbarsa and Yaccombourse, and then the ensuing dialogue.

Yac. My dearest Barbarsa, what was all that uproar at the moucheratt the other day?

Bar. Nothing, my love, but that mad fellow Peter, who sets up for a conjuror, and wants us all to dance to his pipe.

Yac. I heard he overcame the ragans at an argument about the Image.

Bar. Why, I don't know how that was, but it was the doating old ragan did their business; and truly the king's fingers itched to be on Peter's side, but I gave him a judicious nod, and you know he durst not displease so dear a friend as I am; ha, ha, ha! Am not I a sad fellow, my love, to talk so of my king?

Yac. He that wants but one step to a throne, is almost a king's fellow

Bar. And that but a short one too, my dear Yaccee; but I must get rid of that Nasgig, though I think I have almost spoiled him with the king, too. I don't love your thinking rascals: that fellow thinks more than I do, Yaccee.

Yac. He'll never think to so good purpose, I believe. But how goes cousin Harlokin on? I find Gauingrunt is gone over.

Bar. And so shall Bazin, Istell, Pezele, and Ginkatt too, my dear; for I am at work there. And then good-night, my poor King Georigetti; thou shalt be advised to fly, and I'll keep the throne warm for thee.—I don't see but King Barbarsa and Queen Yaccombourse sound much better than Georigetti. Well, my dear, whenever we come to sovereignty, which now cannot be long, if Nicor has but played his part well, for I have not had an account of his success yet; I say, when we come into power, never let us be above minding our own affairs, or suffer ourselves to be led by the nose, as this poor insignificant king does. For, in short, he may as well be a king of mats, as a king of flesh, if he will not use his faculties, but suffer me to make a fool of him thus; and I should be a fool indeed to neglect it, when he thinks it the greatest piece of service I can do him.

Yac. Come, come, my dear! let us enjoy ourselves like king and queen till we come to the dignity.

Finding a pause, the king, who had admirably kept his temper, even beyond imagination, stole into the outer room. "Peter," says he, "I thank you; you have shown me myself. What fools are we kings! In endeavouring to make others happy, how miserable do we make ourselves! How easily are we deceived by the designing flattery of those below us!—Ungrateful villain!—Degenerate strumpet!—I hate you both.—Peter," says he, "give me your sword; I'll destroy them both immediately."

"Hold, sir," says I, "your majesty has heard sufficient to found a true judgment upon; but kings should not be executioners, or act by passion or revenge; but as you would punish that in others, so carefully avoid it yourself. You who are in so exalted a station, as always to have it in your power to punish a known crime in individuals, have not that necessity to prompt you to a violent act that private persons have, to whom it may be difficult to obtain justice. Therefore my advice is, that you summon the colambs to-morrow, when Barbarsa and Nicor cannot fail to attend; and I would also desire Yaccombourse to be there, you having great proposals to make to the states which you shall want her to hear. I will in the meantime prepare the servants under Quilly, and order Maleck with another posse to attend, as by your command, to execute your orders given by me, and I myself will impeach those bad persons in public; and Nicor, if he will not ingenuously confess what commission he was charged with from Barbarsa, shall be put to the torture I direct, till he discovers it."

The king was very well pleased with this method; so I ordered Quilly, as from the king, to bring all my servants to the assembly, appointing him his place, and Maleck to select me fifty stout persons and to wait to execute my orders on a signal given. So soon as the assembly met, I told them, since I had concerned myself in their affairs, I had made it my business to search into the cause of their calamities; and finding some of the traitors were now approached, not only near to, but even into the capital city, his majesty had therefore ordered me to ask their advice, what punishment was adequate, in their judgments, to the crime of conspiring against him and the State, and holding treasonable correspondence with his enemies under the show of his greatest friends.

I stopped, and looked at Barbarsa; he turned as pale as ashes and was rising to speak, when the senior colamb declared, if any such thing could be made appear, the common punishment of Crash-doorpt was too trivial; but they deserved to be dropped alive either to hoximo or Mount Alkoe. The several colambs all declaring the same to be their judgment, and even those to be too mild for their deserts, I then stepped up to Barbarsa, who sat at the king's left hand, as did Yaccombourse at his right, and telling them and Nicor they were all prisoners of state, I delivered Barbarsa and Yaccombourse in custody to Quilly and his men, and Nicor to Maleck and his men, ordering them into separate apartments, with strict commands that neither should speak to the other upon pain of the last pronounced judgment.

Barbarsa would have spoke, and called out to the king, begging him not to desert so faithful a servant for the insinuations of so vile a man as Peter; but the king only told him the vile man could be made appear presently, and he hoped he would meet his deserts.

I then stood up and told the assembly the whole of what we heard, how it first came to be discovered, and that the king himself had been an ear-witness of it, which the king confirming, the whole assembly rang with confusion, and revenge and indignation appeared in every face.

I then proposed, as we yet knew not what that secret commission was which Nicor was charged with, having enough against the rest, that Nicor might be brought forth; and upon refusal to answer, be put to the torture.

Nicor appearing before the assembly, I told him I was commanded by the king to ask him what commission he was charged with by Barbarsa, and to whom. I told him the safest way for his life, his honour, and his country, was to make a true confession at first, or I had authority to put him to the torture; for, as for slitting and banishment, as they were too slight to atone for this offence, he might rest satisfied his would be of another sort, if he hesitated at delivering the thing in its full truth.

My prelude terrifying him, he openly confessed that his last commission was to several towns, as from the king, and with his gripsack, to order their submission to Harlokin, the king not being in any condition to relieve them; and that as soon as they had submitted, Harlokin would be let into this city, which could not stand against him.

He also declared that it had been agreed, and the boundaries settled, how far Barbarsa, who was to be declared king and marry Yaccombourse, should govern, and how far Harlokin; that Barbarsa was to be styled King of the East, and Harlokin King of the West; and that either of them, on the other's dying childless, was to inherit the whole monarchy.

The king declaring this to be all true, and that by my procurement he heard it all mentioned but the last night between Barbarsa and Yaccombourse as they were solacing themselves in bed, the whole assembly ordered them to be brought out, carried with cords about their necks, and precipitated into Mount Alkoe.

I then begged they might be suffered to speak for themselves before execution; and acquainting them severally with the evidence, I first asked Barbarsa what he had to say against his sentence. He declared his ambition, and the easiness of his master's temper, had instigated him to attempt what had been charged upon him; having, as he thought, a fair opportunity of so doing.—I then asked Yaccombourse the same question; she answered me, her ambition had been her sole governor from a child, and I had done my worst in preventing the progress of that; and whatever else I could do was not worth her notice; "But to have reigned," says she, with some emotion, "was worth the lives of millions, and overbalanced everything!"

I pleaded hard for Nicor, as I perceived him to be only the favourite's favourite, and not in the scrape for his own views, more than what he might merit from his new master; and as he had declared the truth, and I believed I might make further use of him, I obtained that he might be only committed to me, and that I might have liberty of pardoning or slitting as I saw fit; and, as I expected, he afterwards proved very useful to me and my designs, and I pardoned him.

Before the assembly rose, a party of the natives of Mount Alkoe were ordered to convey Yaccombourse and Barbarsa to the mountain, slip their graundees, and drop them there; and thus ended the lives of these two aspiring persons.

When I came home, I called Nicor before me. "You know," says I, "Nicor, you are obliged to me for this moment of your life; but I don't remind you of it for any return I want to myself; but as you are sensible my endeavours are to serve this State, I offer you life and freedom upon condition you employ your utmost diligence to repair your past conduct, by a free declaration of everything in your power that may be for the benefit of the kingdom, as you know the springs by which all these bad movements have been set at work; and I desire your opinion how best to counteract the schemes formed, and redress the evils."

Nicor being fully convinced of his error, and having lost his patron, was very submissive; and declared he believed none of the provinces would have gone over to Harlokin, unless they had thought it was the king's order Barbarsa had acted by, which, by bearing his gripsack, they made no doubt of. He advised to send expresses with the king's gripsack to such places as had lately submitted, and to such as were about it, to put a stop to them. I told him I had done that; "But not by the gripsack," says he, "and unless they see and hear that, they will give no credit to the message." He then gave me some particular hints in other affairs of no mean consequence; and seeing him truly under concern, and, to my thinking, sincere in what he said, I told him I was an absolute enemy to confinement, and if any person of repute would engage he should be forthcoming upon all occasions that I might have recourse to him, I would let him have his liberty.

Poor Nicor, as it commonly happens to great men in disgrace, finding himself abandoned by all his friends, after trying everybody, dropping some tears, told me next morning he was highly sensible of what a dye his offences had been, for that not one amongst all his former friends would even look upon him in his present circumstances, wherefore he must submit to fate.

Nicor having borne a good character before seduced by Barbarsa, and knowing that an obliged enemy often becomes the sincerest friend, I pressed him again to try his friends. He told me everybody was shy of engaging in such an affair; and that he had rather suffer himself, than meanly to entreat any one into an unwilling compliance.—"Come, Nicor," says I, "will you be your own security to me? May I take your own word?"—He said he could not expect that; for as the terror of slitting lay over him, and in my hands too, he could not answer but he might deceive me in case he should conceive I had a design against him; which I myself, too, might have from a mistaken motive.

"Why, then, Nicor," says I, "you are free; now use your own discretion. I think you will never cause my judgment to be impeached for what I have done; but if you do, I can't condemn myself for it, and hope I shall have no reason to repent it."

Nicor fell at my feet, embraced them, and was so overcome with my generosity to him, that I could with difficulty prevail on him to rise again; saying he was now more than ever ashamed to see my face. I told him I had not done with him, but would use him henceforth as my friend, and ordered him to call upon me daily, for I might have several occasions for him; and, truly, next to Nasgig, he proved the usefullest man in the kingdom.