Peter prepares for his father's reception—Arguments about his beard—Expects his wife—Reflections on her not coming—Sees a messenger on the rock—Has notice of Pendlehambys arrival, and prepares a treat.

THE news my late visitors had brought me set my mind quite at ease; and now having leisure to look into my own affairs, with the summer before me, I began to consider what preparations I must make against the return of my wife; for, according to the report I had heard, I concluded there would be a great number of attendants; and as her father would no doubt pique himself upon the grandeur of his equipage, if his followers should see nothing in me but a plain dirty fellow, I should be contemned, and perhaps my wife, through my means, be slighted, or at least lose that respect the report of me had in a great measure procured her.

The first thing therefore that I did, was to look into my chests again, wherein I knew there were many of the Portuguese captain's clothes, and take out such as would be most suitable to the occasion, and lay them all by themselves. I found a blue cloth laced coat, double-breasted, with very large gold buttons, and very broad gold button-holes, lined with white silk; a pair of black velvet breeches, a large gold-laced hat, and a point neckcloth with two or three very good shirts, two pair of red-heeled shoes, a pair of white and another of scarlet silk stockings, two silver-hilted swords, and several other good things; but upon examination of these clothes, and by a letter or two I found in the pockets of some of them, directed to Captain Jeremiah Vauclaile, in Thread-needle Street, London, I judged these belonged to the English captain, taken by the Portuguese ship in Africa. I immediately tried some of them on, and thought they became me very well, and laid all those in particular chests, to be ready when the time came, and set them into one of my inner rooms.

Upon examining the contents of another chest, I found a long scarlet cloak laced, a case of razors, a pair of scissors, and shaving-glass, a long-wig and two bob-wigs, and laid them by; for I was determined, as I might possibly have no other opportunity, to make myself appear as considerable as I could.

When I had digested in my mind upon what occasions I would appear in either of them, and laid them in proper order, Pedro and I went several days to work with the net, and caught abundance of fish, which I salted and dried; and we cut a great quantity of long grass to dry, and spread in my tent for the lower gentry, and made up a little cock of it; we also cut and piled up a large parcel of firewood; and as I had now about thirty of the best fish-skins, each of which would cover four chairs, I nailed them on for cushions to my chairs, and the rest I sewed together, and made rugs of them.

I had observed that my brother Quangrollart, and Rosig, neither of them had beards, and as they were quite smooth-chinned, I conjectured that none of their countrymen had any: So, says I, if that is the case, as I have now both scissors and razors, I will e'en cut off mine, to be like them. I then set up my glass, taking my scissors in hand; but had not quite closed them for a snip, when I considered that as I was not of their country, and was so different from them in other respects, whether it would not add to my dignity to appear with my beard before them. This I debated some time, and then determined in favour of my beard; but as this question still ran in my mind, and I wavered sometimes this way, sometimes that, I some days after prepared again for execution, and took a large slip off; when, says I, how can I tell whether I can shave after all? I have not tried yet, and if I can't, how much more ridiculous shall I look with stubbed hair here and there, than with this comely beard? I must say, I never in my life had so long a debate with myself, it holding upwards of two months, varying almost every time I thought of it; till one day, dressing myself in a suit I had not before tried on, and looking in the glass: It can never be, says I, that this grave beard should suit with these fine clothes; no, I will have it off, I am resolved. I had no sooner given another good snip, than spying the cloak, I had a mind to see how I looked in that. Aye, says I, now I see I must either wear this beard or not this cloak. How majestic does it look! So sage, so grave, it denotes wisdom and solidity; and if they already think well of me, don't let me be fool enough to relinquish my claim to that for a gay coat. I had no sooner fixed on this, than I took up all the implements to put again into the chest; and the last of them being the glass, I would have one more look before I parted with it; but my beard made such a horrid, frightful figure, with the three great cuts in it, that though it grieved me to think I must part with it just when I had come to a resolution to preserve it, I fell to work with my scissors, and off it came; and after two or three trials I became very expert with my razor.

Winter coming on, as I knew I must soon have more occasion than ever for a stock of provision, from the increase of mouths I expected, I laid in a stock for a little army; and when the hurry of that was over, I kept a sharp look-out upon the level, in expectation of my company, and had once a mind to have brought my tent thither to entertain them in; but it was too much trouble for the hands I had, so I dropped the design. I took one or other of the children with me every day, and grew more and more uneasy at hearing nothing of them; and as uncertain attendance naturally breeds thoughtfulness, and the hours in no employ pass so leisurely as in that, my mind presaged numberless intervening accidents that might, if not entirely prevent their coming, at least postpone it.

Thinks I (and that I fixed for my standard), Youwarkee, I am sure, would come if she could; but then, says I, here is a long flight, and to be undertaken by an old man too (for I thought my father-in-law much older than I afterwards found him), who is now quiet and safe at home; and having his daughter with him, is no doubt desirous of continuing so: now, what cares he for my uneasiness? He can find one pretence or other, no doubt, of drilling on the time till the dark weather is over; and then, forsooth, it will be too late to come; and thus shall I be hung up in suspense for another year. Or what if my brother, as he called himself, for he may be no more a brother of mine than the Pope's, for ought I know, came only on a pretence to see how I went on; and not finding, for all his sham compliments to me, his sister married to his father's liking, should advise him not to send my wife back again; and so all the trouble I have had on their account should only prove a standing monument of my foolish credulity! Nay, it is not impossible, but as I have already had one message to inform me Tommy and Hallycarnie are provided for, as much as to say in plain English I shall see them no more, so I may soon have another by some sneaking puppy or other, whom I suppose I am to treat for the news, to tell me my wife and Patty are provided for too, and I am to thank my kind benefactors for taking so great a charge off my hands. Am I? No! I'll first set my tent, clothes, chairs, and all other mementoes of my stupidity on fire, and by perishing, what's left of us, in the blaze, exterminate at once the wretched remains of a deserted family. I hate to be made a fool of!

I had scarce finished my soliloquy, when I heard a monstrous sort of groan or growl in the air, like thunder at a distance. "What's that, Pedro?" says I.—"I never heard the like before, daddy!" says he.—"Look about, boy," says I, "do you see anything?"—We heard it again. "Hark!" says Pedro, "it comes from that end of the lake."—While we were listening to the third sound, says Pedro, "Daddy, yonder is something black upon the rock, I did not see just now."—"Why, it moves," says I, "Pedro; here is news, good or bad."—"Hope the best, daddy," says Pedro; "I wish it may be mammy."—"No," says I, "Pedro, I don't expect her before I hear from her."—"Why, then," says Pedro, "here they come; I can plainly discern three of them. If my brother Tommy should be there, daddy!"—"No," says I, "Pedro, no such good news; they tell me Tommy's provided for, and that's to suffice for the loss of my child: and yet, Pedro, if I could get you settled in England in some good employ, I should consent to that: but what Tommy's to be I know not."

By this time the three persons were so near that, seeing us, they called out "Peter!" and I making signs for them to alight, they settled just before me, and told me that Pendlehamby and Youwarkee would be with me by light next day.

I had no sooner heard this, but so far was I from firing my tent, that I invited them to my grotto, set the best cheer before them, and with overhaste to do more than one thing at once, I even left undone what I might have done.

I asked them who came with my father; and they told me about two hundred guards: that knocked me up again, as I had but prepared for about sixty; thinks I, My scheme is all untwisted. I then asked them what loud noise it was, and if they heard it just before I saw them over the rock. They told me they heard only the gripsack they brought with them to distinguish them from ordinary messengers; and then one of them showed it me, for I had before only taken it for a long staff in his hand: "but," says he, "you will hear them much louder to-morrow, and longer, before they come to you."

Having entertained them to their content, I sent them to rest, not choosing to ask any questions; for I avoided anticipating the pleasure of hearing all the news from Youwarkee herself. However, the boys and I prepared what provisions of fowl and fish we could in the time, to be ready cold against they came, and then laid down ourselves.