[Throughout the whole monologue and in the following scenes she speaks slowly and disconnectedly, repeating words dreamily and, as it were, in a state of forgetfulness.

KATERINA. No, no, nowhere! What is he doing, my poor boy, now? All I want is to say good-bye to him, and then ... and then death. Why did I lead him into trouble. It's made it no better for me! I should have suffered alone! But I have ruined myself, ruined him, brought dishonour on myself,—everlasting disgrace on him—yes,—dishonour on myself, and on him everlasting disgrace. (Silence.) If I could remember what it was he said. How he felt for me? What were the words he said? (Clutches at her head) I can't remember, I have forgotten everything. The nights, oh, the nights are a weariness to me! All lie down to sleep, I too lie down; it is well with all of them, but I lie as in my grave. It is fearful in the darkness! There is a sound of singing as at some burial; but so soft, almost out of hearing, far away, far from me.... How one longs for the light! But I can't bear to get up—the same people again, the same talk, the same torture. Why do they look at me so? Why is it they don't kill one nowadays? Why don't they? In old days, they say, they used to kill women. If they would take me and throw me into the Volga, I would be glad. "If we kill you," they say, "your sin is taken from you; you must live, and suffer for your sin." But I have suffered for it already! Am I to suffer much longer? What have I to live for now, what for? I care for nothing, nothing is sweet to me, the light of day is not sweet to me! And still death does not come. One calls upon death and death comes not. Whatever I look upon, whatever I hear, it is nothing but aching here (touching her heart). If I could be with him, there might perhaps be still some joy for me.... Nay, it's all the same, my soul is lost now. How sick I am with longing for him! If I cannot see thee, hear me at least from far away! Wild winds, bear my grief and longing to him! My God! I am weary, I am weary! (goes to the river bank and cries loudly at the top of her voice) My sweet, my heart, my soul, I love you! Answer! [Falls a-weeping. Enter Boris.