The Sultan and His People :: MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE.

MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE.

Marriage is considered “honorable in all,” but most especially among the Osmanlis, who enter into this condition as they arrive at the age of puberty. The independent state of bachelorship is therefore unknown among them, or if such an accident should happen, the unfortunate gentleman is styled beekear, or useless member of society, which stigma it is needless to say they by no means covet; as for old maids, there is not a word in the language descriptive of that class of women.

The preliminaries of all marriages are effected by the parents, who not only thus spare their children much trouble and embarrassment, but use all their own wisdom and experience of genuine terrestrial happiness in providing for their own offspring. Besides, parental authority is supreme, and filial obedience equally innate, hence it never enters into the calculations of the young to weary themselves with the anticipatory illusions of love, though sometimes when old enough they join in the matrimonial deliberations.

Marriage is not a religious, but rather a civil contract among the Mussulmans, and the ceremony is as simple as in Protestant countries.

This ceremony which is called Nikeah, is effected by proxies, and there is always a fixed sum settled upon the bride, according to the condition of the party. This Nikeah constitutes the legal marriage, but the bride does not go to her husband’s home until three or four months have elapsed, at which time the friends assemble to partake of the nuptial festivities, which continue during four days, and always end on Thursday, as the following day is the Turkish sabbath.

Upon her arrival, the bride is met at the door of the harem, and conducted into the room by the bridegroom himself, who carries her up stairs in his arms, and placing her in the most honorable part of the sofa, raises her veil of tinsel, and takes the liberty, for the first time, to gaze upon the features of his beloved.

Separate establishments are almost unknown in Turkey. The bride goes to the house of her husband’s parents, so that the family circle often becomes very numerous. It occasionally happens that by special request, the bridegroom enters the family of his wife’s parents; which, however, is considered a misfortune, for they say, “Itch guveyeeden halludja” or any condition is preferable to that of a man married into a family.

DIVORCE.

Voltaire has observed, “Le divorce est probablement de la mÊme date À peu prÈs que le mariage; je crois, pourtant, que le mariage est de quelques semaines plus ancien; c’est À dire qu’on se querella avec sa femme au bout de quinze jours, qu’on se battit au bout d’un mois, et qu’on s’en sÉpara aprÈs six semaines de cohabitation.”

If such be a true picture of human nature, it is not too highly drawn for a country where polygamy is practised, since it is no hard matter for a man to part with one wife, when he has several others. The privilege of divorce would be somewhat tyrannical if allowed only to the men, but in Turkey, the women themselves may exercise this prerogative, if they are maltreated, or not properly provided for, with at least the requisite “bread and candles.”

A man may put away his wife merely by uttering in the hearing of a third party, the ominous word “bosh,” null, void, which even if carelessly spoken renders the man and wife strangers to each other, the lady feeling obliged to assume her veil, and conceal her charms; and in case of reconciliation, a second marriage ceremony is necessary. The woman, on her part, has the privilege of leaving her husband, by declaring before the Cadi, Djanum azad, nikeahum helal—I forfeit my dowry, and claim my freedom.

It is fortunate that divorce is very disreputable, and is seldom practised by either party if they have any respect for public opinion, or regard for themselves; otherwise, wives and husbands would be constantly changing hands, as was the practice among the old Arabs, in the time of Mohammed.

This custom was decried by the Prophet, “It shall not be lawful for thee to take other women to wife hereafter, nor to exchange any of thy wives for them.”

The moral effect of a facility of divorce is to keep both parties on their good behavior, but at the same time a spirit of extreme selfishness is induced in the women. For being in constant apprehension of a sudden separation, they look upon their husbands as a means of revenue, and endeavor to store up as much jewelry, clothing etc., as possible, to be ready in case of emergency. The display of shawls and diamonds upon the persons of women, even of the poorest classes, is not from a feeling of vanity, but rather an exhibition of the extent of the personal wealth they have extorted from their lords and masters.

In case of separation, the children are supported until they are seven years old, by the father; after which the boys remain under the paternal care, and the girls belong to the mother; unless some other arrangement is made by mutual consent.

The most unjust stigma of illegitimacy, is almost unknown in Turkey; the children by slaves being as respectable and legitimate as those by the regular wives, and it is only when the father cannot be discovered that they are regarded as bastards. Such principles are certainly right, and more humane than those of Christian lands, where the innocent are taunted all their lifetime with the immoralities of others, for whose actions they are as irresponsible as “the babe unborn.”

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