Chap. I.—A Word to Donald.—The Scotch Anecdote and its Character.—The Scotch painted by Themselves.

Chap. II.—Donald, a British Subject, but no Englishman.—Opinion of the greatest English Wit on the Scotch, and the worth of that Opinion.—The Wit of Donald and the Wit of the Cockney.—Intelligence and Intellectuality.—Donald's Exterior.—Donald's Interior.—Help yourself and Heaven will help you.—An Irish and a Scotch Servant facing a Difficulty.—How a small Scotchman may make himself useful in the Hour of Danger.—Characteristics.—Donald on Train Journeys.—One Way of avoiding Tolls.

Chap. III.—All Scots know how to Reckon.—Rabelais in Scotland.—How Donald made Twopence-halfpenny by going to the Lock-up.—Difference between Buying and Stealing.—Scotch Honesty.—Last Words of a Father to his Son.—Abraham in Scotland.—How Donald outdid Jonathan.—Circumspection, Insinuations, and Negations.—Delicious Declarations of Love.—Laconism.—Conversation reduced to its simplest Expression.—A, e, i, o, u.—A Visit to Thomas Carlyle.—The Silent Academy of Hamadan.—With the Author's Compliments.

Chap. IV.—The traditional Hospitality of the Highlands.—One more fond Belief gone.—Highland Bills.—Donald's two Trinities.—Never trust Donald on Saturdays and Mondays.—The Game he prefers.—A Well-informed Man.—Ask no Questions and you will be told no Tales.—How Donald showed prodigious Things to a Cockney in the Highlands.—There is no Man so dumb as he who will not be heard.

Chap. V.—Resemblance of Donald to the Norman.—Donald marketing.—Bearding a Barber.—Norman Replies.—Cant.—Why the Whisky was not marked on the Hotel Bill.—New Use for the Old and New Testaments.—You should love your Enemies and not swallow them.—A modest Wish.

Chap. VI.—Democratic Spirit in Scotland.—One Scot as good as another.—Amiable Beggars.—Familiarity of Servants.—Shout all together!—A Scotchman who does not admire his Wife.—Donald's Pride.—The Queen and her Scotch People.—Little Presents keep alive Friendship.

Chap. VII.—Scottish Perseverance.—Thomas Carlyle, David Livingstone, and General Gordon.—Literary Exploits of a Scotchman.—Scottish Students.—All the Students study.—A useful Library.—A Family of three.—Coming, Sir, coming!—Killed in Action.—Scotchmen at Oxford.—Balliol College.

Chap. VIII.—Good old Times.—A Trick.—Untying Cravats.—Bible and Whisky.—Evenings in Scotland.—The Dining-room.—Scots of the old School.—Departure of the Whisky and Arrival of the Bible.—The Nightcap in Scotland.—Five Hours' Rest.—The Gong and its Effects.—Fresh as Larks.—Iron Stomachs.

Chap. IX.—Religion and Churches in Scotland.—Why Scotch Bishops cut a poor Figure.—Companies for Insuring against the Accidents of the Life to come.—Religious Lecture-Rooms.—No one can Serve two Masters.—How the Gospel Camel was able to pass through the Eye of a Needle.—Incense and Common Sense.—I understand, therefore I believe.—Conversions at Home.—Conversions in Open Air.—A modest Preacher.—A well-filled Week.—Touching Piety.—Donald recommends John Bull and Paddy to the Lord.

Chap. X.—Donald's Relations with the Divinity.—Prayers and Sermons.—Signification of the word "Receptivity."—Requests and Thanksgivings.—"Repose in Peace."—"Thou excelledst them all."—Explanation of Miracles.—Pulpit Advertisements.—Pictures of the Last Judgment.—One of the Elect belated.—An Urchin Preacher.—A Considerate Beggar.

Chap. XI.—The Scotch Sabbath.—The Saviour in the Cornfield.—A good Advertisement.—Difference between the Inside and the Outside of an Omnibus.—How useful it is to be able to speak Scotch in Scotland.—Sermon and Lesson on Balistics at Edinburgh.—If you do Evil on the Sabbath, do it well.

Chap. XII.—Scotch Bonhomie.—Humour and Quick-Wittedness.—Reminiscences of a Lecturer.—How the Author was once taken for an Englishman.

Chap. XIII.—Drollery of Scotch Phraseology.—A Scotchman who Lost his Head.—Two Severe Wounds.—Premature Death.—A Neat Comparison.—Cold Comfort.

Chap. XIV.—Family Life.—"Can I assist you?"—"No. I will assist myself, thank you."—Hospitality in good Society.—The Friends of Friends are Friends.—When the Visitors come to an End there are more to follow.—Good Society.—Women.—Men.—Conversation in Scotland.—A touching little Scene.

Chap. XV.—Little Sketches of Family Life in Scotland.—The Scotchman of "John Bull and his Island."—Painful Explanations.—As a Father I love you, as a Customer I take you in.—A good Investment.—Killing two Birds with one Stone.—A young Man in a Hurry.

Chap. XVI.—Matrimonial Ceremonies.—Sweethearts.—"Un serrement de main vaut dix serments de bouche."—"Jack's kisses were nicer than that."—A Platonic Lover.—"Excuse me, I'm married."—A wicked Trick.

Chap. XVII.—Donald is not easily knocked down.—He calmly contemplates Death, especially other people's.—A thoughtful Wife.—A very natural Request.—A consolable Father.—"Job," 1st chapter, 21st verse.—Merry Funerals.—They manage Things better in Ireland.—Gone just in Time.—Touching Funeral Orations.

Chap. XVIII.—Intellectual Life in Scotland.—The Climate is not so bad as it is represented to be.—Comparisons.—Literary and Scientific Societies.—Why should not France possess such Societies?—Scotch Newspapers.—Scotland is the Sinew of the British Empire.

Chap. XIX.—Higher Education in Scotland.—The Universities.—How they differ from English Universities.—Is he a Gentleman?—Scholarships.—A visit to the University of Aberdeen.—English Prejudice against Scotch Universities.

Chap. XX.—Scotch Literature.—Robert Burns.—Walter Scott.—Thomas Carlyle.—Adam Smith.—Burns Worship.—Scotch Ballads and Poetry.

Chap. XXI.—The Dance in Scotland.—Reels and Highland Schottische.—Is Dancing a Sin?—Dances of Antiquity.—There is no Dancing now.

Chap. XXII.—The Wisdom of Scotland.—Proverbs.—Morals in Words and Morals in Deeds.—Maxims.—The Scot is a Judge of Human Nature.—Scotch and Norman Proverbs compared.—Practical Interpretation of a Passage of the Bible.

Chap. XXIII.—Massacre of the English Tongue.—Donald, the Friend of France.—Scotch Anecdotes again.—Reason of their Drollery.—Picturesque Dialect.—Dry Old Faces.—A Scotch Chambermaid.—Oddly-placed Moustachios.—My Chimney Smokes.—Sarcastic Spirit.—A good Chance of entering Paradise thrown away.—Robbie Burns and the Greenock Shopkeeper.

Chap. XXIV.—The Staff of Life in Scotland.—Money is round and flat.—Cheap Restaurants.—Democratic Bill of Fare.—Caution to the Public.—"Parritch!"—The Secret of Scotland's Success.—The National Drink of Scotland.—Scotch and Irish Whiskies.—Whisky a very slow Poison.—Dean Ramsay's best Anecdote.

Chap. XXV.—Hors d'oeuvre.—A Word to the Reader, and another to the Critic.—A Man who has a right to be Proud.—Why?

Chap. XXVI.—Glasgow.—Origin of the Name.—Rapid Growth of the City.—St. Mungo's Injunction to Donald.—James Watt and the Clyde.—George Square.—Exhibition of Sculpture in the open Air.—Royal Exchange.—Wellington again.—Wanted an Umbrella.—The Cathedral.—How it was saved by a Gardener.—The Streets.—Kelvingrove Park.—The University.—The Streets at Night.—The Tartan Shawls a Godsend.—The Populace.—Pity for the poor little Children.—Sunday Lectures in Glasgow.—To the Station, and let us be off.

Chap. XXVII.—Edinburgh.—Glasgow's Opinion thereof, and vice versÂ.—High Street.—The Old Town.—John Knox's House.—The old Parliament House.—Holyrood Palace.—Mary Stuart.—Arthur's Seat.—The University.—The Castle.—Princes Street.—Two Greek Buildings.—The Statues.—Walter Scott.—The inevitable Wellington again.—Calton Hill.—The Athens of the North and the modern Parthenon.—Why did not the Scotch buy the ancient Parthenon of the modern Greeks?—Lord Elgin.—The Acropolis of Edinburgh.—Nelson for a Change.

Chap. XXVIII.—Where are the Scotch?—Something wanting in the Landscape.—The Inhabitants.—The Highlanders and the Servant Girls.—Evening in Princes Street.—Leith and the Firth of Forth.—Rossend Castle at Burntisland.—Mary Stuart once more.—I receive Scotch Hospitality in the Bedroom where Chastelard was as enterprising as unfortunate.

Chap. XXIX.—Aberdeen the Granite City.—No sign of the Statue of "you know whom."—All Grey.—The Town and its Suburbs.—Character of the Aberdonian.—Why London could not give an Ovation to a Provost of Aberdeen.—Blue Hill.—Aberdeen Society.—A thoughtful Caretaker.—To this Aberdonian's Disappointment, I do not appear in Tights before the Aberdeen Public.

Chap. XXX.—The Thistle.—"Nemo me impune lacessit."—"Honi soit qui Mollet pince."—Political Aspirations of the Scotch.—Signification of Liberalism in Scotland.—Self-Government in the near Future.—Coercive Pills.—The Disunited Kingdom.—The United Empire.