Seven Shekels in St. PaulPublished once in a while

GENERAL NEWS

The other day several members of the Sophomore class visited the studios of the famous Mesdames Dodginsky and DeBartley, where they were told their secret ambitions; and by special permission we have been allowed to print them. It appears that Annah Margaret Thresher would like to swim the English Channel. Jean Crocker longs to be a Professor of Music at Oxford, while Florence Roberts would receive all possible degrees at Columbia. Others seem to desire athletic professions. Helen Dietz would like to be the Football Coach at the “U,” Jane Woodward to be the World’s Greatest Lightweight Forward, and Kate Velie to be on the Olympic Sprinting Team. Mayme Wynne has a morbid desire to be a designer of Curious Coiffures in Paris.

WEATHER REPORT

By E. B.

The Sophomores suggest a soaking spring if the snow smelts. If it rains sufficiently to suit Miss Svenddahl, they forecast dancing in the Gym. The spring days will be either cloudy, partly cloudy, or clear. It will rain dogs and cats or hail taxicabs, although we may have snow, a tornado, a cyclone, a blizzard, a squall, a typhoon, a tidal wave, or a forest fire.

Last Friday evening the Sophomore Select Sewing Society met at the home of Miss Jane Bartley. A pleasant time was had by all, making rackets and nightcaps for the poor. Refreshments were served.

flea facing leftBRAIN TICKLERflea facing right

One of these fleas has been magnified 439 times, the other 438½ times. Which was originally the larger? Take 39 seconds in which to do this.

MISCELLANEOUS

Dr. Ailment’s Post Box

Question: Dear Doc: What can be done to keep up one’s hair when it is not entirely grown out?—A. M. T. B. D. B. I.

Answer: Cut it off, my dears.

Question: Dear Doc: What can be done for eye-strain caused by drawing maps of the Aegean Sea?—Sophomore Class.

Answer: Don’t do ’em. You will flunk anyway.

ADVERTISEMENT

Take my three minute course and learn to study successfully. Astound your teachers in any way. See me about it.—J. Crocker.

Learn the art of putting up your hair in two minutes between bells. Don’t be late for your classes. Follow my example. Easy lessons. Apply to B. Dodge.