Of laughing, and weeping. And whether children be to be forced toward vertue and learning.

If laughing had no more wherfore to be enrouled in the catalogue of exercises, then weeping hath, they might both be crossed out. And yet as they be passions, that tende in some pointes, to the purging of some partes, so some may thinke it, a verie strange conceit, to laugh for exercise, or to weepe for wantonnesse. For as laugh one may, with an hartie good will, so weepe none can, but against their wil, to whom it is allotted in the nature of an exercise, and not quite questuarie, as to those wailing women, which wepte for the deade, whom they knew not aliue. There be manie and very easie, and much desired meanes, to make one laugh though they haue small cause, and lesse deuotion to be mery at all, but to make one weepe, is stil againe the haire. For ill newes or matter to weepe for, neither children, nor olde folkes, will thanke you at all. If you meane to make them weepe for ioye, or crye for kindenesse, that is an other matter. If the maister should beate his boye, and bring no cause why, but that he sought to haue him weepe, so to exercise him to health, and to ridde him of some humours, which made him to moist, the boye would beshrew him, and thinke his maister beate him so, to exercise himselfe, though at the verie conceit of his maisters mad reason, he might brust out in laughing streight after his stripes, and so become a patrone to the contrary exercise: a great deale more gracious and more desired in nature, whose enemie greife is, and weeping also: as a plaine argument of an vnpleasaunt guest. Howbeit seing they be both set downe, by the name of pettie, and pretie exercises, let them haue that is giuen them, seeing they are thought to stirre, and cleare some partes: laughing more and better: weeping lesse and worse. And therfore the more children laugh for exercise, the more light some they be, the more they weepe if it be not in ieast, so much the worse in very good earnest. For I can hardly beleue that much laughter can auoide a foole, if it be not for exercise, which is also somwhat rare: or that but a foole can weepe for exercise, which deserues the bat, to make him weepe in earnest.

But for laughing in the nature of an exercise and that healthful, can there be any better argument, to proue that it warmeth, then the rednesse of the face, and flush of highe colour, when one laugheth from the hart, and smiles not from the teethe? or that it stirreth the hart, and the adiacent partes, then the tickling and panting of those partes themselues? which both beare witnesse, that there is some quicke heat, that so moueth the blood. Therfore it must needs be good for them to vse laughing, which haue cold heades, and cold chestes, which are troubled with melancholie, which are light headed by reason of some cold distemperature of the braine, which thorough sadnesse, and sorrow, are subiecte to agues, which haue new dined, or supped: which are troubled with the head ache: for that a cold distemperature being the occasion of the infirmitie, laughing must needes helpe them, which moueth much aire in the breast, and sendeth the warmer spirites outward. This kinde of helpe wil be of much more efficacie, if the parties which desire it, can suffer themselues to be tickled vnder the armepittes, for in those partes there is great store of small veines, and litle arteries, which being tickled so, become warme themselues, and from thence disperse heat thorough out the whole bodie. But as moderate laughing is holesome, and maketh no too great chaunge, so to much is daungerous, and altereth to sore. For besides the immoderate powring, and pressing out of the spirites: besides to much mouing and heating, it oftimes causeth extreame resolution and faintnesse, bycause the vitall strength and naturall heat driue to much outward. Whervpon they that laugh do sweat so sore, and haue so great a colour, by the ascending of the blood. And as the naturall heat, and fire it selfe do still couet vpward, as to their naturall place, so must it needes be, that the lower roomes lie open, and emptie in their absence, wherby whether soeuer motion be marred, the naturall heat dyeth, and the vitall force faileth. Besides this, no man wil denie, but that this kinde of laughing, doth both much offende the head, and the bulke, as oftimes therewith both the papbones be loosed, and the backe it selfe perished. Nay what say ye to them that haue dyed laughing? where gladnesse of the minde to much enforcing the bodie, hath bereft it of life.

For weeping in the nature of an exercise, there is not much to be said, but that it is accompanied with crying, sobbing groning and teares, wherby the head, and other partes are rid of some needlesse humour: though the disquieting do much more harme, then the purging can do good, and the humour were a great deale better auoided some other waye. Wherof some children seeme to be exceeding full, when feare of beating makes them straine their pipes. Aristotle must beare both most blame for this exercise, if it displease any, and most praise, if it profit any, who in the last chapter15 of the seuenth booke of his politikes writeth thus of it, and for it. That they do not well which take order, that children straine not themselues, with crying and weeping, bycause that is a meane to their growing, in the nature of an exercise. And that as holding the breath doth make one stronger to labour: so crying and weeping in children, do worke the same or the like effectes. And yet me thinke it should be no exercise, by the verie definition. For if it were vehement, yet is it not voluntarie, and though it did alter the breath, yet it bettereth not the bodie, howsoeuer it serue the soule.

But seeing the gymnastikes haue it, let vs lend it them for their pleasure, though we like it not for our owne. It is generally banished by all Physicians as being the mother to manie infirmities, both in the eyes and other partes: neither if it could be auoided in schooles were it worthy the looking on: being the heauy signe of torture and trouble. And though it somtime ease the greiued minde to shedde a few teares, as some for extreme anguish cannot let fall one, yet children would be lesse greiued if they might shedde none, as some hold it a signe of a verie shrewd boye, when he deserues stripes, not to shew one trikle. Some Physicians thinke by waye of a conserue to the minde, that it ought to be vsed in schooles sometimes, though not voluntarie, yet in forme of an exercise to warme shrewd boyes, and to expell the contagious humours of negligence, and wantonnesse, the two springes of many streaming euilles: as playing would be daily, at some certaine houres, then to vse these exercises, when bookes be out of season.

The greatest patron of weeping that I finde, leauing Heraclitus to his contemplation of miseries, is a soure centurion in Xenophon,16 which sat at the table with Cyrus in his pauilion. He commendeth weeping, wherto he had no great deuotion, to discountenaunce laughing which he saw allowed, and his reason is: bycause awe, feare, correction, punishements, which commonly haue weeping, either companion, or consequent, be vsed in pollicy, to kepe good orders in state, and good manners in stay, wheras laughing is neuer, but vpon some foolish ground. And yet both laughing for exercise may be for a good obiecte, and occasion to make laughter, may well deserue praise, when the minde being wearied either about great affaires that are alreadie past, or about preuenting of some anquish which is to ensue, doth call laughing to helpe, to ease the one, and to auert the other. And this kinde of weeping, which the soldiar settes out so, concerneth no exercise, though it commonly follow all vnpleasaunt exercises, where the partie had rather be idle with pleasure, then so occupyed to his paine: but it tendeth to the impression, or continuing of vertue in the minde: which should be so much the worse, bycause that waye it seemeth vnwilling, where feare is the forcer, and not free will. Which free will is the principall standard to know vertue by, which is voluntary, and not violent: as it is not the beast meane, to bring boyes neither to learning, nor to vertue.

Socrates in Plato17 thinketh, that an absolute witte in the best sorted kinde, and aboue all common sorte, for ciuill societie, ought not to be forced, as in deede what needes he, being such a paragon? and that free will in such a one so sifted is the right receit of voluntarie traine. But we neither haue such common weales, as Socrates sets forth, nor such people to plant in them, as Socrates had, which he made with a wishe: nor any but subiecte to great infirmities, though some more, some lesse, by corruption in nature, which runneth headlong to vnhappinesse, and needeth no beating for not being nought. And therfore we must content our selues with that which we haue, and in our countrey which is not so absolute, in our children which be no Socraticall saintes, in our learning which will not proue voluntarie, if the child playe voluntarie we must vse correction and awe, though more in some, then some, bycause in illnesse there be steps, as in excellencie oddes. Wherof there is no better argument then that which this verie place offereth, not for the soldiars saying, which so commendeth awe, bycause his authoritie is to campishe, though he that brought him in, and platted the best prince were himselfe no foole: but for mine owne collection. For if one neede not to beat children to haue them do ill, whervnto they are prone, we must needes then beat them for not doing wel, where nature is corrupt. Onelesse we meete with one, that will runne as swift vphill against nature, to do that which is good, as we all runne downe bancke, with the swinge of nature, to do that which is ill. Which when I finde, I will honour him, as I do none, though I do oft beare with some, in whome there appeareth but some shew of such a one. If vnder doing well, ye comprehend not learning, ye must needes comprise vertue, and make her meane violence, against all both heauenly Diuinitie, and earthly Philosophie, with whom all vertues be voluntarie, when reason is in ruffe: but not in children euen for compassing of the best effectes, whom custome and traine must now and then force foreward, to be ready for reason, when she maketh her entrie, which requireth some yeares. For howsoeuer religion, wisdome, duetie, and reasonable consideration do worke in riper age, sure if awe be absent, in the younger yeares, it will not be well. And who can tell, what euen he that vnder lawe is most obsequious and ciuill, would of him selfe proue, if lawe, which emportes awe, would leaue him at libertie?