XXXVIII. CLERICAL COURTING.

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The following sketch, published by Mrs. Farrington under the name of Fanny Fern, is a graphic life-picture. We are informed that a worthy gentleman connected with her family by marriage, sat for the portrait of Ephraim.

"Mr. Ephraim Leatherstring labored under the hallucination that he had a call to preach the gospel to the heathen. He had hitherto hid his 'light under a bushel' in the worldly occupations of mending fences, felling trees, driving cattle and shoeing horses. Conceiving that the chief qualifications for his new office were a pair of green spectacles, and a long, petticoat-y, ministerial cloak, he forthwith equipped himself in this spiritual armor, and presented himself before 'the Board;' by whom, after examination, he was pronounced a perfect—shingle! and forthwith set apart for the work.

"His passage was spoken in the Sea-Gull for the Ourang Outang Islands, and his sea-chest duly stored with 'Village Melodies' and penny tracts, when it was intimated to him by 'the Board' that it would be advisable for him to provide himself with a help-meet before starting. Whether they feared his yoking with an unbeliever, or—well—no matter; any way, two days' grace were allowed him to find Mrs. Ephraim Leatherstring. Letters of introduction to three damsels were given him, whose parents' principles were known to be 'dyed in the wool.'

"Now this little matrimonial luxury had not been thought of by Ephraim; or, if it had, was quickly banished from his mind as a temptation of Satan, and quite incompatible with his new calling. However, coming to him recommended by such high authority, 'Barkis was willing!'

"His first call was upon Miss Charity Church. She was absent on a visit. Unfortunate female!! No chance for her to see the Ourang Outang Islands! Ephraim began to feel nervous, for, now he had made up his mind to be a victim, he didn't like to be disappointed.

"Nothing daunted, he wended his way to Deacon Pettebone's. His daughter Merinda was as round as a barrel and much the same shape, as rosy as an apple and quite as sweet, and had been brought up by the deacon, and that's enough said! Eph. made known his errand to the deacon, who was highly delighted at the honor about to be conferred on his family, and left him alone with his chubby daughter, not doubting that she would be of the same opinion. Now Ephraim, (spite of his long cloak and green spectacles,) had made the acquaintance of several other damsels in the course of his earthly pilgrimage; but he knew that this missionary wooing was to be got up on a new principle; so he decorously seated himself in the farthest corner of the room, placed the palms of his hands together, allowing the two forefingers to meet, and began to tell 'his experience,' by way of solemnizing her mind, to all of which Merinda appeared to listen with becoming gravity. He then informed her, that he and 'the Board' had decided to invite her to be his co-worker and fellow-laborer in the Ourang Outang vineyard. Then, peering over his green spectacles at Merinda, who sat stuffing the corners of her checked apron in her mouth, he said, 'Silence gives consent. Let us pray.' When he arrived at Amen, and turned his head to reward himself with a long look at his future wife, Merinda was among the missing; rolling on the grass at the back part of the house, in a perfect paroxysm of laughter! Eph. had no more time to waste on such a sinner, so he picked himself up, and his cloak was soon seen fluttering in the wind, in the direction of Parson Clutterbuck's.

"Now it was foreordained that Kezia should be the chosen vessel. She was always at home, and there he found her; as straight and perpendicular as if she had swallowed the meeting-house steeple. His errand was soon made known—the form slightly varying from the first order of performances. Kezia straightened down the folds of her stiffly-starched neckerchief, and said meekly, that 'she felt inclined to think it was the path of duty for her;' which Eph. ventured to subscribe to, with the first holy kiss; when he started back in consternation, on observing that her red hair was curled around her face. He shook his head ominously, and said, 'he was afraid 'the Board' would think it had a carnal look,'—but upon Kezia's informing him that it was a defect she was born with, they made up their minds that a little patience and pomatum might, in time, remove this obstacle to their usefulness, and forthwith embarked on the sea of matrimony, 'fetching up' at the Ourang Outang Islands, just in the wane of the honeymoon, strong in the belief that the fate of heathen millions, long since unborn (as Mrs. Partington might say,) lay in their matrimonial hands."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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