Once there was a wonderful cow,—only she never was! She always had been wonderful, ever since she was a baby calf. Her mother noticed it at once. She was born out in the pasture one sunny morning in June. As soon as she was born, she got up on her long, thin legs. She wobbled quite a little for she wasn’t very strong. Then she went over to her mother and put her nose down to her mother’s bag and took a drink of milk. This is what all the old cow’s babies had always done so the old cow thought nothing of that. But when this wonderful last baby calf had drunk its breakfast, what do you suppose it did? It stood on its head! Now the old cow had never seen anything like this. It was most surprising! It frightened her. She called to it:

But the baby calf only mooed. And it smiled when it mooed which the old cow thought queer too. None of her other babies had smiled. Then the calf said:

“Dear me!” thought the old mother cow. “I never saw or heard anything like this!”

But this was only the beginning. The baby calf kept on doing strange and wonderful things till at last everyone called her Wonderful-calf-that-never-was! And many people used to come to see her stand on her head whenever she was fed. She did other queer things too! Once she pulled off the ear of another calf! And all she said was: “Poor little calf! You mustn’t go in the pasture where there are other calves!” But the little calf who had lost its ear said, “Yes, I must!” But after that Wonderful-calf-that-never-was was kept in the barn for a long time.

At last it was June again and she was a year old. Her horns had begun to grow. The old cow, her mother, had another baby. This new baby calf was just like other calves and not wonderful at all. The old cow was glad for Wonderful-cow-that-never-was worried her very much. For everything about her was queer. One day the calf who had lost the ear,—she was a young cow now,—took hold of the tail of Wonderful-young-cow-that-never-was and pulled it. And what do you suppose happened? The tail broke right off! All the cows were frightened. Whoever heard of a broken tail? But Wonderful-young-cow-that-never-was only mooed and when she mooed she always smiled. Then she said:

And so she did. She got a grasshopper to give her some sticky stuff and she smeared it on the two ends of her broken tail and stuck them together. “And now it’s as good as new,” she said, “and now it’s as good as new!” Her horns grew and grew. She was very proud of them and was always trying to hook some one or gore another cow with them. But one day she went to the edge of the lake when it was very still. It wasn’t wavy at all. And as she leaned over to drink, she saw herself in the water. My mercy! but she was shocked!

“My horns are straight!” she screamed, “and I want them curly!” She ran to the old mother cow and had what her mother called the “Krink-kranks.” She jumped up and down and bellowed: “My horns are straight and I want them curly!”

The old mother cow was giving her new baby some milk. It made her cross to hear Wonderful-cow-that-never-was having krink-kranks over her horns. “Horns grow the way they grow!” she remarked crossly. “So what are you going to do about it?”

“Something!” answered the young cow. “I’m not Wonderful-cow-that-never-was for nothing!” And she stopped having krink-kranks and went off. She stayed away all day and when she did come back, her horns were curled up tight! And she was chewing and smiling and chewing and smiling.

“What have you done now?” gasped the old mother cow. “I never saw horns curled so crumply!”

The young cow smiled and said:

“And here is the corn cob I curled them on,” she said, opening her mouth. And sure enough, there was the corn cob!

Now Wonderful-cow-that-never-was got queerer and queerer until the farmer thought her a little too queer. She was very proud of her crumpled horns and tried to hook everyone on them. Once she tore the farmer’s coat trying to hook him. And once she did toss him up. She watched him in the air and all she said was “He’s up now, but he’ll come down some time.” And bang! So he did!

Finally one terrible day, they tied her tight and cut off her horns. She was never the same afterwards. She couldn’t hook any more. “I don’t care about being queer any more,” she said to her mother. And she wasn’t. She stopped standing on her head. She never pulled off another ear. She never broke her tail again and of course she never curled her horns again. Because she hadn’t any! “After all,” she said, “it’s wonderful enough just to be a cow and have four stomachs and chew cud and give milk and have a baby each Spring!” And that’s what she’s doing now!

THINGS THAT LOVED THE LAKE

This story was worked out with a five-year-old boy. It is the result of his own summer experiences on a lake.