The Meal Ticket Man. (Suggested by John Golobie's recent article, "The Apotheosis of the Meal Ticket Man") Away with the heroes that litter the past! Tear the crown from the brow of each unworthy pate! We have come to the truth and its virtues at last, And our heroes are modern and quite up to date! Neither warrior nor prelate is praiseworthy now; Neither saint nor philosopher cumbers our plan; Let us gather the laurels and twine o'er the brow In a crown of delight for the Meal-Ticket Man! Just search through the musty old mists of the years, For the men who have lifted the world to the stars! You will find it was never the sages or seers Who have healed human hearts from their terrible scars; They were those who from one vagrant week to the next In the garret or cellar lived life's little span, And whatever their thought or where ever their text, All the glory belongs to the Meal-Ticket Man. What matter though seedy his hat and his coat. That his pantaloons bagged and were ragged and frayed? Still the world by its modern, unanimous vote Says it danced to the tune that his chin-music played! At the touch of his hand, at the thrill of his thought, It leaped on the paths where the greater truths ran, And though in the ways that were humble he wrought Yet it crowns him at last--the great Meal-Ticket Man! Then hail to this hero of shadow and shine! Never doubt he's as great as the greatest in worth, And his greatness surpasses the greatness divine Of the sword and the miter that saddened the earth! From the poverty-ways where his fellows hard toil All the blessings arise that our sorrows shall ban; He's a hero, indeed! He's the king of the soil! Then a song and a crown for the Meal-Ticket Man!