  The next night. A corridor in the palace. It stretches longitudinally across the stage and is rather narrow. In the wall to the back there is a wide and high arch, covered with heavy hangings of imperial purple, showing two large embroidered H's, with wreaths above them, in gold. The solid wall of the corridor, seen to the two sides of the central hangings, is of coloured marble. The hangings conceal the state banquet hall, and the corridor is the emperor's means of getting to the latter from his private apartments. All decorations are simple, but of the utmost richness. During the whole act, down to the last scene, sounds of revelry come from the banquet hall—laughter, music and the clinking of goblets—now faintly and now loudly. As the curtain rises PISO and POLORUS enter, followed by a slave pushing their rolling table of medicines and instruments. They are in long white tunics, reaching below the knees, and with short sleeves—the early Roman equivalent of modern operating gowns. PISO [To the slave] Here, Ambrose, shove it to this side.
POLORUS [Officiously] Where is the headache powder? PISO [Reaching to the shelf beneath the table, he brings up a huge blue bottle] Here you are. Do you think we have enough? POLORUS It's enough to kill them, but I doubt that it's enough to cure them, once they get started. PISO Well, if we run out of it, we can give them some cholera mixture. They'll never know the difference. POLORUS [Busily arranging the bottles] All this does me good, my boy. It makes me young again. PISO Do you think the moral movement is really over? POLORUS If it isn't, then why this good old-fashioned banquet? Why all the old crowd? Why all the old girls? I suspect that Paula arranged the whole thing. Have you seen the list of guests? PISO No. POLORUS Well, not a tank is missing. Every zinc-lined stomach and copper-plated kidney in Rome is here. By the way, have we got enough stomach-pumps? PISO [Indicating them] Here are six. POLORUS Maybe that will be enough. [He roots among the medicines] I have a feeling that this will finish the Christian wife. She'll never stand for an old-time banquet. PISO Then let us thank all the gods. If Christianity ever actually got on its legs, the doctoring business would go to pot. All this praying and fasting and going to bed at ten o'clock is fatal to pathology. The aim of medicine is to save a man from the just consequences of his own vices. If he gives up his vices, then— POLORUS But he never does. All he ever comes to is the exchange of one vice for another. This praying that you mention is a vice. Fasting is a vice. Going to bed at ten o'clock is a vice. PISO Maybe so. But I am speaking medically. The medicine that we studied was designed for certain ends. It supposes the existence of certain vices. POLORUS [Argumentatively] You make imaginary difficulties, Dr. Piso. Simply give him a dose of salts, say I, and trust to luck. You talk as if a physician had to cure his patient. Nonsense. All he has to do is to try to cure him. PISO [Bridling] Is that so? Then how do you—
CAIUS Say, Doctor— PISO Why, Commander! What brings you here? CAIUS Ain't this the night of the banquet? I thought this was the night of the banquet. If this ain't the night of the banquet, then I— PISO Of course it is. But how did you get here? CAIUS Ain't this the palace? I thought this was the palace. I saw a lot of girls going in the basement and so I thought it was the palace. PISO So it is. But this is the Emperor's private corridor. You ought to have gone the other way, through the atrium. CAIUS Excuse me, gentleman. I apologize. [He attempts a right-about-face] Which way did you say? I thought I was in the palace. I saw a lot of cuties going into the basement and so I thought it was the palace. [Suddenly pulling himself up] But say, Doctor, I knew I wanted to see you about something. You are Dr. Piso, ain't you? PISO I am the Dr. Piso. CAIUS I remember you that time I had that carbuncle. Where was it? Somewhere in Gaul. My, my! How the years do skip along! Here it's July again—[He pauses uncertainly] Is it? Is it July again? PISO [Professionally] You say you desire to consult me, Commander? CAIUS Doctor, you know what it is—this sea-faring life. PISO You have indigestion? CAIUS No, sir! I can digest anything. I could eat an alligator. Tail and all. PISO But— CAIUS [Looking about him cautiously] Shhhh! I'm coming to it! I can eat anything, but—but—
PISO But you're not what you used to be at— CAIUS [He nods mournfully] Half a dozen bottles of wine, and I'm not worth a damn. The fact is, I am almost a teetotaler—practically. I hardly drink a thing—scarcely. [He sighs boozily] Think of what's ahead of me tonight. They're all here—the military, the judiciary, the Senate. If I drink with all those gold-fish, then I'll be laid up tomorrow, and maybe die. And if I don't drink, then I disgrace the navy. PISO Too bad. But maybe I can help you. CAIUS That's what I was getting at, Doctor. I remember, out in Asia Minor, how those slick Persians would take a hooch of something or other, and then they were ready for anything. The point is, what was it? PISO Olive oil. POLORUS Ammonia. PISO Ammonia your uncle! POLORUS [Bitingly] Yes, ammonia one's uncle! An ounce in a glass of milk, before or after. CAIUS Could I take them both? PISO Yes, if you are crazy. POLORUS Why not? The ammonia will fix him, and the olive oil won't kill him. [Busying himself at the table] Let us mix them.
CAIUS [Getting affectionate and placing his arm around POLORUS This is the regular size for elephants and gladiators. Now—there you are—down with it!
CAIUS [Faintly] Is there a chaser? PISO No. Let it alone. The fire will go out of itself.
POLORUS [Elbowing him toward the left] Go out in the atrium, Commander, and stick your head in the pool.
PISO [Calling after him] Don't forget the professor! POLORUS [Coming back] That old soak is on his last legs. Practically a teetotaler! I wonder what he— PISO [At the table] Where did you get that olive oil? POLORUS Out of the tall yellow bottle. PISO Well, you wasted four ounces of good turpentine liniment. POLORUS [Examining the bottles] Um, it's six of one and half a dozen of the other. But I didn't waste any ammonia. I gave him ninety per cent. alcohol. PISO What are the odds? I once cured a case of chilblains with a couple of liver pills. POLORUS You ought to try some of those pills on the Emperor. PISO Ought to try them? I have given him a keg of them. POLORUS Then it's no wonder I can't cure him. PISO [Irascibly] You? Do you ever cure patients? Oh, my word! It's those infernal powders of yours that counteract the pills. No wonder he gets worse. I can never give him enough of my pills to catch up with your powders. If you—
SIMON [In a sepulchral voice] God be with you! PISO [Startled] The same to you, Reverend. But what are you doing here? SIMON [Mysteriously] I have business here. POLORUS Business here? Don't you know what's going on? SIMON I see preparations for debauchery—sin—venery—the devil's work. PISO Not so loud, old schooner. The Emperor is giving this banquet. Remember the Espionage Act. SIMON My business is with the Emperor. POLORUS [Amazed and amused] Surely you are not going to the banquet yourself?
SIMON [Solemnly] I have come to—to—to—[He hesitates] I have come to— PISO You have come to look them over? POLORUS You want to see whether the girls really do take off their— SIMON [Cutting in] Girls? Bah! I abhor the scarlet woman. My prayers are for one pure woman, for— PISO The wife Lucia! POLORUS [Nodding his head] He's mashed on her. SIMON [Indignantly] I am old enough to be her father. PISO Yes, so is the Emperor. SIMON Let him have a care! Let him remember the wrath to come. POLORUS What! At a banquet? SIMON Even at a banquet. Even amid the flesh-pots. PISO What do you hear? SIMON That he plans to cast her off. More, that he plans to—murder her. POLORUS [Glancing about him] Oh, I say! SIMON Even as he has murdered other poor women—trusting hearts—discarded wives. [Suddenly infuriated] But not the wife Lucia! The moment his slaves touch the anointed of the Lord—[He draws a dagger]—that moment I plunge this knife into his heathen heart! PISO [Nervously] My dear sir, calm yourself. This is awful talk. I positively refuse to listen to any such anarchism. SIMON I shall wait here. I am ready. I shall serve the Lord. POLORUS Suppose you let me have that knife. I am more used to such things. You are a clergyman. It may cut you.
SIMON [Flourishing the dagger] Nay! I shall wait here! I am ready.
PISO [In a panic] What are we to do? POLORUS If we had time we could anÆsthetize him. PISO Yes, if we had time we could hypnotize him. But now? SIMON Pray to the Lord! POLORUS Yes, yes, but not now. Not here. I never miss the Day of Atonement. I promised my old mother. [In full demoralization, to PISO] You tackle him. PISO [Panic-stricken, to SIMON] Why not go out and take a little walk and come back later? SIMON I stay here. I am set here to watch. An angel charged me to—
POLORUS [Pushing him back frantically] But you're blocking up the passage-way. It is forbidden. Surely you don't want to offend the Emperor. SIMON [Idiotically] Not unnecessarily. PISO Well, then— POLORUS [Inspired] Ah, here!
PISO [Greatly relieved] Whew! POLORUS [Coming back] Just in time! [Suddenly alarmed again] But suppose he jumps out and—
PISO [Resolutely] Who? POLORUS [In surprise] Who? This blamed— PISO I didn't see anybody. Did you? POLORUS [With a relieved wink] No. I saw no one. PISO He must have sneaked in during the day. POLORUS Maybe the wife Lucia let him in.
RUFINIUS His Imperial Majesty!
HELIOGABALUS [Suddenly shaking off PAULA and CÆLESTIS, and swinging 'round to face the other wives, his arms folded] The answer is Yes and No! PAULA [Melodramatically] What! HELIOGABALUS Yes to question number one; no to question number two. THE OTHER WIVES [Together] Which is which?... Do we come back?... What can he mean?... Which question is number one?... He's going to put her out! PAULA [Authoritatively] Silence! Let me do the talking. [To HELIOGABALUS, bravely but a bit uneasily] What do you mean ... darling? HELIOGABALUS Simply this, molasses jar. You all come back—but not together. THE OTHER WIVES [In a babble, as before. They don't quite know whether to hail the news, or to protest] Oh, we come back!... But what does that mean?... I don't understand it at all.... Do you mean—? PAULA [Sharply] Silence!
PAULA [To HELIOGABALUS, quaveringly] You are not going to—? HELIOGABALUS Carpenters are at work building a plain double-bed. I have ordered that farm taken out and burned. The double-bed will suffice until— PAULA But I thought we were to come back. HELIOGABALUS You do—but you come back one by one. CÆLESTIS But where will the rest of us sleep? HELIOGABALUS Where you have been sleeping—during the late revolution. Sleep wherever you please. If the palace isn't big enough, I'll have barracks built. PAULA [Maudlinly] Oh, my poor head! I can't understand a thing he says! HELIOGABALUS Let me explain. The old system had its advantages. I was used to it and strongly approved it. But the older I get, the more I learn. At ninety or a hundred I should be genuinely wise. One thing I have learned is that the Christian system, too, has— PAULA [Hysterically] He's deserting us for that street woman!
HELIOGABALUS [Talking them down] The Christian system, too, has its advantages. It is lonesome, but peaceful. I sleep better. The ventilation is better. More air. Fewer breathing. PAULA I protest against it as immoral! We are your lawful— HELIOGABALUS [Sardonically] Immoral? Hah, because it's pleasant! You, too, have become infected by this Christianity. PAULA Oh, what an insult! HELIOGABALUS But to resume. You take your turns one by one, quietly and in order. First, let us say—well, first one of you. To be selected by me. I have a system worked out. Each stays on until—until I feel like a change. Then the next. And so on. PAULA I see it all. It's a scheme to get that Christian hussy in—and then keep us out! HELIOGABALUS [Darkly, rolling his eye over the group of wives] The Christian girl will not be the first. She must take her turn. CÆLESTIS See! She remains. What did I tell you?
HELIOGABALUS If you are my lawful wives, then she is my lawful PAULA I am against justice for Christians! HELIOGABALUS [Humorously] Exactly. There is always some one that justice doesn't apply to. CÆLESTIS You might take her in, and then keep her a year. HELIOGABALUS It's theoretically possible, but very improbable. No, my inclination to the Christian system has its limits. The girl must take her turn. I must suffer, say once a year. Where is she, by the way? PAULA Praying somewhere, I suppose. CÆLESTIS [Maliciously] Maybe she has run off with that old bed-tick of an evangelist. HELIOGABALUS I shall ask her to pray for you, CÆlestis. CÆLESTIS [Horrified] Oh, oh! She'll put a spell on me! HELIOGABALUS Never fear. [Wearily] I have tried it. Her PAULA [Defiantly] It is your duty to turn her out. CÆLESTIS It is your duty to— ANOTHER WIFE It is your duty— HELIOGABALUS [Irritably] Duty! Duty! Always my duty! Well, it is my duty to— PAULA Do your duty and you'll be happy. HELIOGABALUS A fallacy, my dill pickle. Duty may make a man able to stand a thing, but it never makes him enjoy it. Now good-night.
PAULA I object! I protest!
HELIOGABALUS Enough! I order you—as Emperor! [They grow PAULA [At the door] I— HELIOGABALUS [Peremptorily] Guards!
HELIOGABALUS What! Little Dacia! [She nods shyly] I didn't notice you. I didn't hear a word from you. DACIA [Ingenuously] I didn't say anything. HELIOGABALUS Not a word about duty? DACIA No. HELIOGABALUS [Elaborately kissing her hand] Thank you. DACIA I hope you are feeling much better. HELIOGABALUS Thank you again. If I saw more of you, Dacia, I'd soon be well. [A pause] I heard you singing last night. It was very sweet of you. DACIA [Simply] I thought you might like me to do it. HELIOGABALUS [Now thoroughly interested] Like it? I loved it! You gave me pleasant dreams. I dreamed that things were as—as they used to be, and that— DACIA [Snuggling into his arms] Have you missed me? HELIOGABALUS Enormously! At first I wondered just what it was I missed so much, but then I knew. It was my little wifey. [He kisses her gently] Now she's never going to leave me again. DACIA [With all the art of the cutie, but apparently simply] If you want me. HELIOGABALUS I want you every minute. [With elaborate tenderness] DACIA [Coyly, burying her face on his shoulder] I have a new night-gown. HELIOGABALUS When am I to see it? DACIA You never notice such things. HELIOGABALUS What nonsense. Didn't I notice the pink one—the one you worked yourself—all those forget-me-nots? DACIA That was the first you ever saw. HELIOGABALUS [Sentimentally] I'll never forget it. Ah, those days! Those happy, happy days!
DACIA You do love me, don't you? HELIOGABALUS Don't you know it? DACIA I think so. But how much? HELIOGABALUS That much. [An enormous kiss. Then—HELIOGABALUS straightens up, glances at the banquet-room entrance, and gives a weary sigh] Well, I suppose I must go in. It's really important—a very serious affair—the first in months. You know why there has been none. I made a lamentable error. I hate bloodshed, but I really think I'd be justified in—
DACIA But I'll see you soon? HELIOGABALUS I should surely hope so. I nominate you number one. And I'll make Paula number two, so there'll be no temptation to— DACIA [Very demurely] You won't be long? HELIOGABALUS How could I be long? [Kissing her briefly again] And don't forget! [He whispers to her, and, as if blushing, she hides her face on his shoulder] You understand? DACIA [Whispers] I'll be there. HELIOGABALUS And now—[Another kiss] Wear that pink one. You know. Now I must—[A sudden idea] But why not simply stay? How idiotic of me not to have thought of it! You can sit right beside me as you used to do. I'll get away all the sooner. DACIA But it's a men's party! HELIOGABALUS Pish! You'd be welcome at any men's party. Just watch how the judiciary gape at you! DACIA But my frock! This old thing! HELIOGABALUS It's perfect! Those old rats never look at the clothes; they look at the girl. [He takes his laurel wreath from his head and puts it on DACIA'S head] There! The last touch!
CAIUS [Turning tipsily as the dancer makes off] Hey, there! HELIOGABALUS [Taking his place, with DACIA beside him] Let us sit.
CAIUS [Rising unsteadily] Majesty, the dancer took to the woods. I feel I ought to apologize. HELIOGABALUS [Genially] Maybe something struck her suddenly—conscience, or gallstones, or something. CAIUS Oh, no. I've known that little one for years—sound as a gladiator. Maybe—[He winks] I'd better go and—and—
HELIOGABALUS [Cutting in] And fetch her? CAIUS That's it—and fetch her.
HELIOGABALUS [Rising in his best imperial manner. As he gets to his legs the musicians repeat the massive chord of C major] Gentlemen, my apologies for my tardiness. The fact is, I didn't know until the last minute if my health would permit me to join you. I was brought here on a litter, attended by two physicians. They are out in the ante-chamber at this moment, mixing pills. [With the sudden malignancy of the dyspeptic] I shall take, say, 5,000 more pills. Then we'll
VARIOUS GUESTS Vivat Imperator! Vivat Elegabalus! HELIOGABALUS Gentlemen, let us all drink to Rome, the one perfect and immortal Empire—the model and despair of other states—the mother of justice—the guardian of civilization! Rome cannot die! Rome forever! GUESTS Rome forever!
CAIUS [In a hoarse voice, without] Oh, come on, dearie! Don't be afraid!
HELIOGABALUS [Rising so that he can see] Bring her in, Caius.
CAIUS This is a different one, Majesty. I couldn't find the other one. I hunted high and low. [Again he winks elaborately] This one is an Egyptian—her name is Irene. I take a fatherly interest in this one. A GUEST Dear old papa! ANOTHER GUEST [Mimicking a baby] Da-da! Da-da! HELIOGABALUS She seems bashful. CAIUS Just a little. Ain't used to dancing before ladies. [An elaborate and idiotic bow to DACIA] She has HELIOGABALUS Let her display her art. This is a different "Her Majesty." CAIUS [Very drunk] Profound apologies. My error. No offence, Majesty, I assure you. My eyes—astigmatism— HELIOGABALUS Now then!
CAIUS [Rising] This is nothing, Majesty. This is just the start. HELIOGABALUS Very interesting. Has the dance any significance? Is it symbolical? CAIUS I should say it is. If you understand it, it brings tears to your eyes. Very affecting, indeed. I'll explain it. You observe that sort of flop-flop of the arms? Well, that signifies—[The music drowns him out. To the musicians, over his shoulder] Not so loud, professor. Where do you think you are?
CAIUS Her dark complexion, gentlemen, signifies death. Wash them, and they are almost white. People think Egyptians are niggers—all a mistake. I knew a girl in Memphis—her name was Saidee—almost as white as anybody. [The girl begins to shed veils] There it is, plain enough. The man is dying. Casting off this mortal coil. Dying by inches. First his feet, then his arms, then his stomach, then his lungs, then his—and so on. [The girl squats, and wriggles about] Death struggles. Poor fellow doesn't want to go. Thinks he is too young. [She leaps into the air] Last gasp. You can almost hear it. [She begins to whirl] Getting dizzy. Scared. Sends for the priest. [The music slackens a bit] Prayers. [Louder and faster again] Too late. It's all up. [A wild leaping about] Throw out the reverend and send for the embalmers. [She leaps into the fountain] The soul takes flight. [She is now almost naked. The water plays upon her] Nothing left but the body. Hardly a stitch on. Have to strip 'em, of
LUCIA [In round, resonant tones] For shame!
LUCIA [Her arms folded, standing firmly, as if defying the universe to move her] For shame!
HELIOGABALUS [Taking a step forward] Hell! LUCIA You may well say hell. There is nothing in hell itself— HELIOGABALUS [Conciliatingly, coming down the steps] Now, now, my dear. Really, you must— LUCIA Don't touch me, Beelzebub! HELIOGABALUS Oh, I say, darling! [He is patently nonplussed. He turns 'round to his guests] Gentlemen—[A deprecating, apologetic gesture] You will pardon me. My stomach, unluckily—
LUCIA [Oratorically] For less than this the flames HELIOGABALUS [Weakly] But she was a coloured woman, my dear. Didn't you notice? LUCIA This infamy must end! A scarlet woman naked before you—and a scarlet woman in your arms! HELIOGABALUS [A sudden change of manner] A what in my arms? LUCIA A scarlet woman!
HELIOGABALUS A scarlet woman? That "scarlet woman" is my wife! LUCIA [Still resolutely, but somewhat alarmed by his rage] I am your wife. Your one wife. HELIOGABALUS Are you? Well, that is something to be remedied. That is a curable disease. A "scarlet woman"! Think of it! LUCIA [Now beginning to realize that she has gone too far] You would put me away? HELIOGABALUS Either you put that crazy Christian balderdash away, or I put you away. Once and for all time, I have got enough of it. I am Emperor here, and I must live like an Emperor, not like a slave. This praying shakes my nerves; water has given me a terrible stomach-ache; I have chills at night. LUCIA [Rather weakly] The Word— HELIOGABALUS Maybe, but not for me! Damn water! Damn the Christian style of kissing! Damn going to bed at ten o'clock! Damn— LUCIA [Her hands over her ears] Get thee behind me, Satan! HELIOGABALUS Satan! So Dacia is a scarlet woman, and I am Satan! And I thought I was Emperor of Rome! [Wildly, showing that there was wine in his goblet] For less than this, I have—
LUCIA You can't harm me. The Lord is with me. HELIOGABALUS [This last defiance determines him] Oh, is he? Then we'll see what he'll do for you when the alligators begin to sniff you. Guards!
LUCIA [In great terror] Would you kill me?
SIMON Stop, tyrant!
LUCIA Help me, Simon! SIMON Lay a hand on this maiden and I'll—
HELIOGABALUS [To SIMON] So there you are! SIMON [Almost incoherently] Murderer! You would send your lawful wife to the lions! Pagan! Heathen! [Rolling his eyes upward] O Lord, watch over Thy servant! O Lord, send Thy lightnings to blast this heretic! HELIOGABALUS Bosh! Save all that O Lord business until you need it more. It won't be long. [To RUFINIUS] Take this man to the circus, and have him chained—arm, leg and neck. There will be orders about him tomorrow morning. I'll want the iron stake and a couple of barrels of whale-oil.
SIMON [His eyes rolling] O Lord, I thank Thee! To die in Thy name! Lord, I thank Thee for this boon! HELIOGABALUS [Astonished] What! LUCIA I am to blame, not he. Let me— SIMON [Still happy] O Lord, I thank Thee for this boon—this martyrdom! I thank Thee! HELIOGABALUS Silence! What is the idiot doing? LUCIA He is happy that he may die for the Faith. HELIOGABALUS The Faith? What has the Faith to do with it? He is to die for an attempt at assault and battery. LUCIA It is all one. HELIOGABALUS Do you mean to say that murder is a part of Christianity? LUCIA No, but martyrdom is. SIMON [To the centurions and RUFINIUS] Brothers, let us pray. Let me pray for you. HELIOGABALUS Never in the world! I have heard enough praying to last me for ever. [To LUCIA, still not quite able to comprehend it] So he actually wants to be burned? LUCIA [Preachily] He thirsts for paradise. HELIOGABALUS [Humorously] Solomon's, I guess! Well, I'm surely not going to accommodate him. [To SIMON] Get up. [To RUFINIUS and the centurions] Let him go. [To SIMON] You are reprieved. SIMON [Blubbering] CÆsar, I— HELIOGABALUS Silence! I say you are reprieved. You are not going to get to paradise if I can help it. [To the centurions] Take him out, give him a good cowhiding, and run him out of town. [To SIMON] If you ever come back, off goes your Adam's apple. And I'll slice your nose flat with your face. Bear that in mind. LUCIA [Heroically] If he goes, then I go too. HELIOGABALUS [Overjoyed by the news, he is momentarily speechless; then—] Oh, surely not! You don't mean to say that you— LUCIA Then I go too! HELIOGABALUS But that's really too much! [Bracing up perceptibly] LUCIA [Rising to eloquence] I turn my back on Nineveh. Out there in the West—[her arms flung wide toward the audience]—there is my work. There I shall preach the Word. Far from these Roman cities and the sins of men. There lies the future harvest of the Lord. HELIOGABALUS [Appraising the audience. Somewhat doubtfully] Um—well—I wish you luck. [Eagerly] But could you get ready in time? You see, Simon is leaving at once. LUCIA I go with him. HELIOGABALUS But your clothes? It will take you some time to pack. LUCIA The Lord's work is not done in fine raiment. As I am, so shall I preach the Word. HELIOGABALUS [Very eager to get her off] Nobly spoken. If you need any money— LUCIA I want no money. I shall pray for you. HELIOGABALUS [In alarm] But surely not here. This is no place for prayer. [Indicating the banquet-room] It's really rather too—er—riotous, isn't it? Pray for me after you get started. Pray for me out there—[pointing in the direction of the audience]—in the West. LUCIA I shall pray for you every day and every night. HELIOGABALUS Yes, yes—every night—out there—[again pointing]—in the West. And now I must get back to my guests. The centurions will see you off. I surely wish you every sort of luck. Let me hear from you now and then. Let me hear how your enterprise comes on. I'll send word that you are to be protected. A happy journey. LUCIA Fare you well! May the Lord keep you! HELIOGABALUS Thanks. Are you sure you don't need more clothes? LUCIA I need no worldly goods. My Faith, the Lord, are enough! HELIOGABALUS So you said. Well, then, good-bye and good luck! LUCIA [Going] The Lord be with you. HELIOGABALUS Thank you. LUCIA The Lord forgive you! HELIOGABALUS Thank you. LUCIA The Lord bless you! HELIOGABALUS Thank you!
SIMON [At the door] I suffer for the Faith. I— HELIOGABALUS [To RUFINIUS] Omit the cowhiding.
DACIA [Stepping forward, somewhat alarmed by his toying with the knife] Be careful! HELIOGABALUS [He gives a start and turns quickly] There you are! And I was wondering what had become of you! DACIA I was here all the while. HELIOGABALUS Here? DACIA Over in the corner. [Snuggling close to him] I was awfully scared. HELIOGABALUS [Now grandly brave] Don't let it worry you, tender baby. It's the trade risk. If this stomach-ache of mine fetches me, or those quacks poison me with their pills, I'll be the first Roman Emperor to die in bed for two hundred years. [Amorously] But we don't want to think of such things, do we? It was worth risking my life to get rid of that theologian. DACIA [Coyly] I thought you—liked her. HELIOGABALUS Bah! I work so hard that sometimes my mind wanders. Then there is my stomach-ache. I thought she could cure it with that Christian magic of hers—that praying, and O Lording, and so on. But it didn't work. DACIA Poor dear! And now you have to go back to the awful banquet. [Yells from within] HELIOGABALUS [Tenderly] Do you want me to go back? DACIA I? What have I to do with it? HELIOGABALUS You have everything to do with it. Do you want me to? DACIA [Half a whisper] No.
HELIOGABALUS Let us cut the banquet! To hell with the banquet! What do you say? DACIA [Like a naughty child] To hell with the banquet! HELIOGABALUS [Half to himself] Imagine that Christian—[taking her arm] Come on! [They sneak half-way across the stage. His eyes feast upon her. He halts a moment] What wonderful hair!
THE CURTAIN FALLS THE END |
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