1. If I speak at length, he is bored; if Ispeak briefly, he is offended; therefore Iwill not speak at all.

2. If virtue is involuntary, vice is also involuntary; but vice is voluntary, hence virtue is also.

3. If a man cannot make progress toward perfection, he must either be a brute or a divinity; but no man is either; therefore every man is capable of such progress. Fowler.

4. If education is popular, compulsion is unnecessary; if unpopular, compulsion will not be tolerated. Fowler.

5. If you are to recover from this illness, then you will. If you are not to recover, then you will not, hence what is the use of calling in a physician?

6. If your act was right, your conscience will approve it; if wrong, your conscience will prick you. Either your act was right or wrong, so you can depend upon your conscience.

7. If he is intoxicated then he is not responsible, but he acts like a sober man.

8. If the Elixir of Life is of any value, those who take it will improve in health; now my friend who has been taking it has improved in health, and therefore the elixir is of value as a curative agent. Hyslop.

9. If you will settle down to business, you may still win out, because Iam confident it is not too late for hard work to be effective.

10. If the end justifies the means then money used for any object of charity may be secured in any way.

11. If might is right then money talks, but Ifind that occasionally money proves ineffective.

12. If the majority of those who use public houses are prepared to close them, legislation is unnecessary, but if they are not prepared for such a measure, then to force it on them by outside pressure is both dangerous and unjust. Hyslop.

13. If the conscience is infallible in matters of right and wrong, then sin is just one thing; namely, doing that which is contrary to one’s conscience. We believe that an educated conscience is infallible.

14. If the earth were of equal density throughout, it would be about 2½ times as dense as water; but it is about 5½ times as dense; therefore the earth must be of unequal density. Hyslop.

15. The end of human life is either perfection or happiness; death is the end of human life, therefore death is either perfection or happiness. Creighton.

16. That chauffeur either lost his head or was drunk because no sane man would deliberately run down an innocent child.

17. If you argue on a subject which you do not understand, you will prove yourself a fool; for this is a mistake which fools always make. Keynes.

18. If you are a man of your word, you will live up to your agreement, or if you have any self respect, you will do the manly thing. Now your neighbors tell me that you are a man in the habit of making good your promises.