When a youth wishes to marry, he does not go to his father and ask for a wife. Such a course would be most disrespectful, and altogether wanting in etiquette. The young men before marriage are not supposed to make requests, or to converse much with their elders. Their duties are chiefly those of herds; the elder boys or youths looking after the cattle, and the smaller boys guarding the sheep and calves. But to return, when a youth wishes to marry, he gets up very early one morning and takes out his father's cattle to the pasture without milking the cows, and lets the calves run with their mothers and drink all the milk. No notice of this is taken on his return, and the same course is pursued by him for thirty days. All his companions leave him severely alone, and nickname him "the silly one." On the thirtieth day his father says, "Surely my son wants to get married." This remark is repeated to the youth, and the next day the cattle return to their former habits and are milked as usual, but on the first morning of their milking the youth must do it unaided. All this milk is then poured into a pot and made into butter. The butter is boiled and poured into a new pot, and kept to anoint the prospective bridegroom's face. No questions are asked as to whom the youth wishes to marry. His wishes are very secondary considerations, and not to be weighed for a moment against those of his father. If the wife selected by his father does not happen to be the "lady of his heart," he is at liberty to choose a second wife for himself, as soon as he can pay the dowry or persuade his father to pay it for him, for when he is a married man, he is on an equality with his father, and can consult him or ask for his help.

After the episode with the cattle, the youth's father will select a girl, and go to talk over matters with her father. After they have agreed as to the number of cattle required for the dowry, about a month is allowed to elapse, at the end of which time the cattle are chosen (as a rule, thirty head are required, but occasionally fifteen or twenty, with a horse or a few sheep and goats thrown in, will suffice). The bridegroom's father prepares a small feast, the mother makes a large quantity of "leting" (mild beer), and all the friends and relations on his side regale themselves. The bridegroom then takes out the remaining cattle to pasture, while his father and male friends start off with the dowry. Some little distance before they reach the bride's home two cattle are chosen from the herd, a male and a female, to represent the bridegroom's parents; these are driven at a gallop through the village and into the kraal. This is supposed to represent the impatience of the parents to welcome their new daughter. The other cattle are driven leisurely along, the herds lustily singing the Basuto wedding song. These cattle are also shut up in the kraal on their arrival. All the relations and friends of the bride then seat themselves on one side of the entrance to the kraal, while the bridegroom's procession sit on the opposite side. For a short time dead silence prevails, until the bride's father (who hitherto has not appeared) joins the party and greets the strangers, after which every one is allowed to talk. The bull and heifer are then driven out and commented upon after the usual manner, very fulsome remarks and compliments being exchanged. No girls must be seen anywhere about, and the bride must be shut up in her father's hut, and the mother in another hut by herself.

After a few pleasantries the bride's father goes to tell his wife his opinion of the cattle. He then calls for "Juala" (strong beer), the first pot being given to the two men who drove in the bull and heifer. After they have drunk as much as they can, they say—

"We are coming to borrow a cup of water for our son."

The bride's father asks—"How many cattle have you brought?"

They reply "Thirty," or whatever the number may be.

The cattle are then counted, and every one drinks again.

The bridegroom's companions now begin to dance, and all the girls of the village must join in the dancing, with the exception of the bride and three chosen companions. This is continued till dark, all the bridegroom's procession sleeping in the bride's village for the night. The next morning the bride's father chooses the fattest ox he possesses and has it killed, thus showing the bargain is completed. Should there be no ox killed, then the bridegroom's father knows there is some hitch, either the dowry is not sufficient, or a more eligible suitor has come forward. A little tact and patience is necessary to find this out, as no direct questions may be asked. If it is merely a matter of dowry, a bargain is made, and, upon the arrival of the extra cattle, the proceedings continue. After the ox is killed, the dewlap is cut off and divided into two strips, one of which is bound round the girl's wrist, and the other sent to the bridegroom to be bound round his wrist. This signifies that they are now bound to each other. The bridegroom's father then sends for a big ox, which is killed, and the skin given to the bride's mother. All that day there is feasting and merry-making. The next day the bridegroom's procession returns home. For a period of from one to three months from this time the bridegroom continues to herd his father's cattle, and life goes on much as usual, except that the father and mother set about preparing their son's future home. When the necessary time has expired, the bride sets out for her husband's home, accompanied by two girl companions and two old women. On leaving her father's house she must not say good-bye to her parents, nor must she speak or look back until she reaches her husband. To look back or bid farewell would show regret, and be an insult to her lord. Silence is enjoined, because her first word must be her greeting to him. As a rule several of her girl friends accompany her part of the way, laughing and singing, and doing all in their power to make her either speak or look back. While they are yet some little distance from the bridegroom's village, they come to a standstill, the old women obstinately refusing to go any farther until some suitable gift is presented to them. The watchers at the village, who have seen all this byplay, and quite understand what it means, hasten to tell the bridegroom's father, who at once sends out either some wearing apparel, an ox, or young animal. As soon as the sun sets, the bride enters the village, being conducted straight to the bridegroom's house. She and her four companions must remain perfectly silent, nor must they accept any refreshment from the bridegroom's mother until his father has killed and roasted a sheep and offered a portion of it to them to eat. The girl must be kept at her mother-in-law's hut for the night, and remain perfectly silent. A number of wedding guests now assemble, and feasting and singing continue all night. In the morning the bride's friends return to their homes.

For the next month the bride is instructed in all household work by her mother-in-law, and carries all the water from the well for the use of the household. While going to fetch water she must neither turn her head nor speak, no matter who may accost her. While in the "skerm," or even in the hut, she is allowed to converse in low tones with any one who comes in, but her voice must not be raised either in anger or laughter. All this time remarks are freely made in her hearing as to her attractions or lack of such, and very outspoken are those remarks.

Meanwhile, the bridegroom endeavours by every means in his power to see and speak to his bride, but on no account must others see him near the hut, and his mother keeps watch more or less strictly, as she happens to be more or less favourably disposed towards his bride. The consequence is that the bridegroom creeps round the hut whenever he gets away from observation, and, should he be fortunate enough to find his bride alone in the "skerm," he crawls in and talks to her in low tones while she is grinding, for, upon seeing him enter in that manner, she knows he is her husband, and instantly begins grinding. Should any one be heard approaching the hut, the bridegroom will at once disappear. When the month of probation is ended, the bride is conducted to her own hut, and freed from all restrictions.

It is the custom of the wife, some few months afterwards, to take her pitcher to the well, break it, and leave the broken pieces where they will be seen, and run away to her own parents, without giving any one a hint as to her intentions. Her mother will at once make her a new pitcher. When it is ready she and her friends will set out for her own home, laden with pots of "leting," and in some cases driving an ox before them. Her return is the signal for renewed feasting and merrymaking.

Of course, now that the missionaries have introduced European marriage customs, a great many of these native rites and ceremonies are done away with, a Christian native's marriage being conducted on the same lines and subject to the same rules as a white man's, the bride even adorning herself with cheap (in quality, but not in price) white finery, with the orthodox wreath and veil, in which, poor creature, did she but know it, she looks extremely ridiculous. She is attended by bridesmaids, all decked out in bright colours, and the bridegroom and best man are resplendent in brand-new suits, white dress shirts, and upright collars, with gorgeous ties.

A Mosuto has no objection to marriage with a blood relation, provided she will prove a desirable connection, and it is the custom for the chiefs to inherit their fathers' wives as well as his other possessions. These wives, as a rule, each chief distributes amongst his councillors and favourites, but their children are always called his, thus giving him a considerable source of wealth, as the sons work for him, and the daughters bring him large dowries of cattle. Fidelity, either from the husband or wife, is a virtue rarely to be found amongst the heathen, but its absence creates no trouble as long as it is not discovered. If a man ill-uses his wife to any great extent, she can return to her father; the marriage is then annulled, and her father is entitled to retain both her and the cattle paid by the ex-husband for her at the time of the marriage.

In cases where a chief wishes to retain the services of a man, he will bestow one of his wives upon him for the length of time his services are required, but any children born of this marriage belong to the chief. This state of affairs is kept as much as possible from the knowledge of Europeans, and indeed the missionaries have done much towards the improvement of the people in this respect, as well as in other ways; but, while such vast numbers are averse to Christianity, the improvement must naturally be slow.

Such a thing as an "old maid" is almost unknown amongst the heathen Basuto, nor are widows allowed to remain as such for any length of time. Generally, a widow is married again twelve months after her husband's death, to his nearest blood relation, most frequently his brother.

The superstitions and practices with regard to illness and death are worthy of record. If any one is taken ill it is believed to be because he or she has offended the spirits of his forefathers. To propitiate them, an ox or a sheep must at once be sacrificed, the blood of which must be used to wash the sick person, while the fat from the entrails of the sacrifice must be wrapped round the patient's neck. The meat of the sacrifice is eaten by the "family doctor" and the male relations, without salt, and at one meal. If the patient recovers, it is because the sacrifice has found favour with the spirits; but if he dies, they are still angry, and further means must be taken to propitiate them.

In cases of serious illness, when it is unmistakable that death is near, the sick person is taken out of the hut, if it is at all possible to remove him, without causing him instant death, as the spirits obtain easier access to the "Skerm" than to the interior of the hut. A hole is cut in the "Skerm" to enable the spirits to enter, as they cannot do so through the doorway of mortals. The friends and relatives of the dying man (or woman) then bid him farewell and leave him to the care of the watchers, old women, blood relations of the family. These heartless creatures resort to the most cruel and barbarous acts, which it would be too revolting to describe; suffice it to say, that, ere life is quite extinct, they place their victims in the recognisedly correct posture, namely, in an upright position, with knees up to chin, and arms doubled up. They then tie him securely so that he cannot move his limbs.

In cases where death has been unexpected, the sinews have to be severed at the elbows, knees, and hips, in order to place the dead in the correct position for burial. As soon as death has occurred, a skin is thrown over the corpse, which on no account must be removed by any one. The old women then break out into a dismal wailing cry, and the watchers outside know that all is over. They immediately throw ashes on their heads and join in the weeping, placing their hands on their bowed heads, and almost prostrating themselves before the dead. All friends are then summoned, each one bringing a present of grain for the dead to sustain him on his journey. They then kill an ox as a sacrifice, which is cooked after dark; the mourners weep and gird their loins with strips of hard hide, and seat themselves in groups by the hut. Very little talking is allowed, the only permissible subject being the good deeds and noble qualities of the deceased. After dark a few of the nearest male relatives set off to dig the grave, which is a circular hole about four feet deep. The doctor is called to pray for clouds, in order that the night may become very dark.

Shortly before midnight the corpse is carried, still wrapped in the skin, and placed at the entrance to the cattle kraal, which is left open all night, as he alone must guard the cattle from straying on this, his first night in the spirit world. Just before dawn he is placed in his grave with the grain, a small piece of meat, salt and leting, and a large stone, as nearly the size of the grave as possible, is placed on his head. He is placed facing the east, to be ready to obey "Molinio's" call, and in a crouching position, so as not to be late in answering it. The grave is then filled up with earth and stones, until there is a fair-sized mound. On the top of this is placed the contents of the stomach of the cow or ox, sacrificed at sunset to the spirits who rule over life and death, after which every one must leave the grave, without one backward glance, if they do not wish to incur the severe displeasure of the spirits.

The entrance to the cattle kraal is then built up, and a new one made. The cattle are called "Melimo a' nko e metse" (the spirits with the wet noses). The graves of old men are always dug round the kraal, others are buried, either on the hill top, or in sight of the kraal, but not very near.

The mourners then return to the hut, where the meat of the sacrifice is divided between them; but before eating, they wash themselves, and the near relations of the deceased fasten a piece of fat from the entrails round their neck, thus signifying that they mourn for a parent, or husband, or child, and to propitiate the spirits, lest another of the family should die. In eating the meat great care must be taken that no bones are allowed to be thrown away, or given to the dogs, because they are a sacrifice to the old god, and dogs may neither partake of such food nor enter the "happy land." When all the meat is eaten the bones are collected and burnt, while the mourners stand round and cry, "Our God, hear us, oh! hear us, we pray, and receive this dead brother (or sister) in peace. There is a light to our grandfather's Father. May the old God pray to the new God for us."

I forgot to mention that the meat of the sacrifice must not be cut with a knife, nor have salt eaten with it. It must be torn in pieces, as to use a knife would be to make sickness sharp. The poles of the dead man's hut are then pulled out, as no one must live in it again, and it is made a ruin.

After four or five months the pieces of fat are removed from the necks of the mourners, and replaced by a black reim, or strap, which is worn until the year of mourning has expired. The nearest male relative, uncle or brother of the deceased, then arrives, and is shown all the clothing, bedding, &c., with any possessions, such as knives, weapons, saddlery, &c., which belonged to the dead man. A sheep is then killed, and the blood is sprinkled over the clothing. The whole sheep must be eaten by the uncle alone before he can return to his own house. When it is finished he breaks the mourning chains, which he takes with him. A pack ox or horse and all the personal effects of the deceased are brought to the door and taken away by the uncle, who thus removes all sickness from the family. When he reaches home, before he enters his own house, another sheep is killed and quickly eaten by him and his family, so as to drive sickness far from the house.

Should any one be so heartless as not to cry at the funeral of friend or relation, the spirits become enraged, and visit him with some terrible sickness as a punishment for his hardness of heart.