Since the Marquis of Twickenham was alive I thought it would be just as well to announce the fact in the grand style. So one morning, having arrived at the conclusion that it was about time that the announcement should be made, I paid up what was owing for those rooms in Clifford Street, Dalston, had my portmanteau put on the top of a cab, and having put myself inside, drove off to Twickenham House in St. James's Square. It was a good horse, and as it took me along as a horse ought to, from the tingle at the tips of my fingers, and the tickle at the balls of my feet, which made me feel I'd like to do something high-toned in the way of fancy dancing, I knew that I was going to enjoy myself.

Cab stopped; I stepped out, overpaid cabby, got in some work on the knocker and the bell. Door opened and there was a young six-footer, in a lovely livery, beautiful silk stockings, and with a teaspoonful of flour on his manly head, looking down at me. I just walked past him as if he wasn't there, tipped my thumb over my shoulder and remarked,

'Luggage.'

He didn't seem as if he knew what to make of me at all.

'I beg your pardon, sir, what name?'

'What name?' I looked him up; I couldn't look him down, he was a size too large. 'Bring in that luggage.'

I don't know whether it was the power of the human eye, or what it was; but he didn't need a second telling. He nipped down the steps, took the portmanteau which the cabman was holding out, and deposited it in the hall as neat and nice as ninepence. While he was engaged in doing this another gentleman in the same rigging came sailing up to me.

'What name, sir?'

'Don't you know me?'

'No, sir.'

'Don't you call me "sir" again, or you never will.'

I turned into a room upon my left--the first there was to turn into. It was a good large room, but it wanted livening up. There was too much darkness about the place, and too much solidity about the furniture, to suit me. Footman No. 2 had followed me to the door.

'May I ask your name, sir?'

'Didn't I tell you not to call me "sir "?'

Plainly he was like his friend--didn't know what to make of me.

'I'll send Mr. Gayer to you.'

Presently in came a tall, thin old party, with a stoop. Old family servant written large all over him. Bound to have been in the house his whole life long. Served my father; probably my grandfather too. So I shot an arrow into the air.

'Hollo, Gayer! Why, you're as thin as I am.'

He came right into the room and took a squint at me.

'My lord!'

He gave a little hop.

'How do? I want something to eat. Now.'

The old chap was trembling all over.

'My lord, I--I'm delighted to see you, if I may make so bold as to say so, but I--I don't understand. It's been given out that your lordship is dead.'

'I'm not dead. As you'll find if you don't soon feed me. Where's every one--or any one?'

'The Marquis has gone to Cressland.'

'Who's gone to Cressland?'

'Your lordship's brother. I--I've got in the way of calling him the Marquis.'

'Then get out of it. What's he gone to Cressland for?'

'Well, my lord, it's not generally known in the house, but I believe he's gone to look at your lordship's coffin.'

'To look at my what?'

'At the coffin, my lord, which your lordship's supposed to be in.'

'Inside or out?'

'I rather think the coffin's to be opened. I imagine some doubt has arisen.'

'If I'm the doubt, I have arisen. Well. Gayer, I'll talk to you another time. At present I want something to eat.'

'Something shall be ready within five minutes. Would your lordship like to go upstairs while it's being prepared?'

'I don't mind.'

'Your lordship's brother occupies the blue room, would your lordship like the oak room?'

'I don't care. Anything will do--for the present.'

I emphasised the last three words, to prepare his mind for the alterations which were at hand. Directly I got into the oak room I knew that if I was to continue to reside in that establishment there'd have to be as many as several. I don't like old-fashioned houses: I don't believe I like old-fashioned anything. If I had my choice, I'd have every thing, and every one, about me up-to-date with the procession; not a mile and a half behind it. That great grim room, with the black oak walls, and the catafalque of a bed wouldn't suit me one little bit. I'd sooner have it a study in rose-coloured silk.

Things had begun well. The mischief was that experience had inclined me to the belief that a good beginning meant a bad ending. Still it was something to have been recognised by Mr. Gayer. It was also something to have learned what was taking place at Cressland. I'd no notion what had caused suspicion to be aroused. If, within a fortnight, Mr. Smith's conscience had pricked him to that extent, then he must be possessed of an outsize in consciences. Anyhow they'd find that it wasn't me who'd been putting in a stay at the family mausoleum.

As I was going downstairs I heard the sound of children's laughter coming from a room above. It sounded queer in that old house. Youth seemed out of place within those black walls. But I'd soon change all that. Youth's what I keep betting on all the time. Where it don't go, I don't go either.

'There are children in the house,' I said to Gayer, as he was settling me at table.

'There are, my lord. They came yesterday. I hope they didn't annoy your lordship.'

'No; they didn't annoy me.' The idea of children annoying me made me smile. I never met a child yet with whom I wasn't on terms of friendship at first sight. 'Send down to Mr. Foster and tell him to come up to me at once.'

'Mr. Stephen Foster?'

'Mr. Stephen. I suppose he's alive.'

'Oh, yes, my lord, and very well. If your lordship will excuse my saying so, he'll be as much surprised to see your lordship as gratified. He told me with his own lips that he was present at your lordship's deathbed.'

'Was he? One day I may return the compliment. Perhaps I'll be present at his. Has he gone with my brother to Cressland?'

'Not that I'm aware of. In fact, I don't believe he knows Lord Reginald has gone.'

'Then fetch him along to me.'

They fetched him along in such fashion that he arrived as I was finishing lunch. I made a hasty meal, for I was aware that a curious interview was close ahead. I can do as much on an empty stomach as most men; but all the same when serious business is on hand, I like to have it comfortably filled. And I'd made up my mind from the very first that I'd have one meal in Twickenham House if I never had another.

Gayer came into the room with an air.

'Mr. Foster has arrived, my lord.'

'Show him in here.'

There appeared the pertinacious old buffer who'd tried to worry me into signing a will. It didn't require more than half an eye to see he was all of a tremble.

'Hollo, Foster! I hear that you recently assisted at my decease.'

'I--I 'He came two or three steps more forward so that he could inspect me at closer quarters. 'It is the Marquis of Twickenham! But--I don't understand.'

'Nor I. I've come back to make a little stay, and I'm received as if I were a ghost.'

'The truth is, we have been made the victims of a most audacious fraud. Your lordship has returned at a most opportune moment. I was just about to hand over the conduct of affairs to Lord Reginald.'

'The deuce you were.'

'It's--it's a most incomprehensible business altogether.' He took out his handkerchief to wipe his brow; agitation actually made him perspire. 'I have advanced Lord Reginald a considerable sum of money.'

'My money or your own?'

'Your lordship's money. But, of course, you can call upon me to refund. I can only plead in mitigation that I supposed myself to have stood beside your deathbed, and to have seen your lordship actually expire. A gigantic imposition has been practised; though how, at present, I altogether fail to understand.'

'How much has he had?'

'I'm afraid as much as twenty thousand pounds.'

'What's he done with it?'

'I have reason to believe that the major part of it has been transferred to Mr. Howarth.'

'What, Douglas! Does he think I'm dead?'

'Mr. Howarth was the prime mover----' He stopped. 'I wish to say nothing--speaking, as I do, as one in the dark--which I may have to recall hereafter, so I will simply observe that it was Mr. Howarth who discovered you.'

'Discovered me?'

'Discovered, that is, the person who pretended to be you.'

'You don't mean to say that Douglas Howarth mistook another man for me?'

'He did.'

'Was the fellow so like me, then?'

'Now that I am actually standing in your lordship's presence I perceive that there are points of difference. But the resemblance was so strong that at the time I was deceived, as were the others.'

'This is a very funny story, Foster.'

'It is. And to you, my lord, I am aware that it must seem strange indeed. A thorough investigation will have to be made, when I think your lordship will allow that I was not deluded so easily, or so egregiously, as may at present appear.'

'On that point, as matters stand, I can, of course, say nothing. But since I've always understood that you were a smart man, Foster, I take it that the man who took you in must have got up early. How much has gone besides that twenty thousand?'

'Nothing. You will find everything in perfect order. The estate was never in a more flourishing condition. And there is a very large sum standing to your lordship's credit.'

'In cash?'

'In investments which are as good as cash.'

'I like your end better than your beginning.'

'May I ask where, all this time, your lordship has been?'

'You may.'

'Your absence has been the cause of great anxiety. Where has your lordship been?'

'Foster, do you remember that I never did like answering questions?'

'I have a clear recollection of that trait in your lordship's character.'

'I've got it still--that trait. I said you might ask, and you have asked; so that's over and done with. What's the next business on the paper?'

We talked figures. Very pleasant figures they were--from my point of view. I learnt more from Mr. Stephen Foster about things I wanted to learn than I should have thought would have been possible in such a very few minutes. It never seemed to enter his head for a single instant that he was being had a second time. His one desire apparently was to rid himself of the consequences of his original blunder as completely as he possibly could. He wanted me, in short, to still give him credit for shrewdness, even though on one occasion he had lacked discretion. And I gave it him. Not ungrudgingly; for that, I felt, would have been to display an undue willingness to overlook his error. But I allowed him to think, by degrees, that his observations were carrying conviction to my mind, and that I perceived that, after all, he was not such a fool as I had at first supposed.

While we were still talking some one came into the room with a rush. It was Lord Reginald--with his hat on his head. I guess he was in too much of a flurry to have thought of removing it.

'What is this I hear? Foster! Who is this?'

He spoke with a bit of a splutter, as though his words tumbled over each other, he was in such a hurry to get them out.

'Lord Reginald, this is your brother--the Marquis of Twickenham.'

I rather fancy Foster gave me the whole of my title because it was like a slap in the face to the young gentleman at the door. There was no love lost between the pair. My affectionate relative frowned till his eyebrows met at the top of his nose.

'Twickenham!'

I wasn't uneasy, and I wasn't flurried. Though this was an odd way of meeting--and greeting--one's brother. It was plain he'd rather I'd kept away. So I just turned in my chair, and I looked at him; this time up and down; and I did a drawl.

'This Reggie? 'Pon my word, how you have grown!'

He came forward to the table, leaning against it with both hands, and bending over it to stare.

'Are you--are you--Foster, are you sure this is my brother?'

'There is certainly no doubt this time, Lord Reginald.'

'But--but--what infernal trick has been played on us?'

'That is what I propose immediately to learn.'

I chimed in.

'And I also.'

'Possibly,' suggested Foster, 'Howarth may be able to offer an explanation.'

I came in.

'Douglas! Don't tell me that Douglas mistook another chap for me. It's too thin.'

'We all mistook him.'

'All? Who's all? What did you know about it? I don't believe you know me now. You were a nice little boy when I saw you last, and I shouldn't have recognised you; that moustache does make a difference. I don't feel flattered. You seem to have been in a deuce of a hurry to take it for granted I was dead. Sorry to disappoint you, but do wait till I've had my innings.'

'Where have you been all these years?'

'What the deuce has that to do with you?'

'We never heard from you; we thought you were dead.'

'It was because you didn't think that I was dead that you arranged that some one else should die instead of me. It's lucky for you that I've come now. If I'd waited till you'd got both your fists in the money-box there might have been trouble. And do you mean to say that you've got some rank outsider down at Cressland in a coffin which bears my name?'

'I don't mean to say anything of the kind.'

'Then who have you got? Are you suggesting that you've got me?'

'That--that's the most infernal part of it! A pretty trick's been played by some one! It's not a man at all.'

'Not a man? Is it a woman?'

'It's a confounded doll!' I leaned back in my chair and laughed. He didn't seem to like it. 'It's all very well to laugh, but it's got up so confoundedly like you that--that----' He hesitated; then brought it out with a plunge. 'Look here, Twickenham, has all this been a joke of yours?'

Although I didn't know it, the question offered me the greatest chance I had had--or was to have. If I'd only owned up that it was a joke, and I'd been amusing myself by bamboozling Howarth, and all the lot of them, I believe--well, I believe it might have been easier. But we're bats--even those of us who have the keenest sight; and I didn't see at the moment what the result of a negative would be. So I let him have it straight from the shoulder; the funniest part being that I thought I was doing something cute.

'What do you mean? Or, rather, perhaps you hadn't better tell me what you do mean. We might both of us be sorry. I don't want to prosecute my only brother; but when, to cover your own action, you suggest that I've been conspiring to defraud myself for your benefit, it's a trifle steep. Especially as Foster tells me you've already got hold of twenty thousand pounds.'

He put himself on a chair by the table, and he covered his face with his hands.

'I wish I was dead!' was the observation which he made.

While Foster and I were watching him some one else appeared at the door--Augustus FitzHoward.