  TURKEY Gobbler awoke as usual before any one else. It was still dark. He woke up his wife and said: "Am I not the wisest of all? Turkey Hen was not quite awake. She coughed and then answered: "Oh, you are very wise. Khe! Khe! Khe! Who does not know that? Khe! Khe! Khe!" "No, it isn't enough to say 'wisest of all,'" said Turkey Gobbler. "There are plenty of wise birds, but the wisest of all is one, and that is I." "The wisest of all! Khe! Khe! Khe! The wisest of all! Khe! Khe! Khe!" "That's right," said Turkey Gobbler. A little cross, Turkey Gobbler added in a voice that other birds might hear: "Do you know, I think that I am not respected enough." "You only imagine that. Khe! Khe!" Turkey Hen calmed him, at the same time smoothing her feathers that had ruffled over night. "You only think that, for one could not "What about the Gander? Oh, I see everything. Of course, he is silent most of the time, never saying anything directly, but I feel that silently he does not respect me." "Don't pay any attention to him," said Turkey Hen. "He isn't worth it. Khe! Khe! Haven't you noticed how foolish he is?" "Any one can see that," said Turkey Gobbler. "It is written all over his face, 'Foolish Gander,' and nothing else. But it isn't really the Gander, for, after all, can one be angry with a fool? The Rooster, for instance. The most ordinary Rooster. Did you hear him scream at me the other day? He screamed so loudly that all the neighbors heard him. It seemed to me he "How strange you are," said Turkey Hen, astonished. "Don't you know why Rooster screams?" "Why?" asked Turkey Gobbler. "Khe! Khe! Khe! It's very simple and everybody knows it. You're a Cock and he's a Cock. Only he is a very, very common Cock, while you are a real beyond-the-sea Indian Cock. That's why he screams with envy. Every bird wishes to be an Indian Cock. Khe! Khe!" "But that's hard to be, mother. Ha! ha! ha! Some ambition for a common little Rooster to become a Turkey Gobbler! No, sir. That never can be!" said Turkey Gobbler. Turkey Hen was a very modest, kind bird. She was always worried when Turkey Gobbler quarreled with anyone. This morning, he was hardly awake when he was thinking with whom to pick a quarrel and fight. He was a restless bird, though not unkind. Turkey Hen was often hurt when other birds made sport of Turkey Gobbler, calling him, "Old Stuck-Up" or "Chatterbox" or "Empty-Head." They were partly right, of course. But then, there are no birds without faults. That's why it is pleasant to find in another bird even the tiniest shortcomings. The birds, now awakened, proceeded from the poultry house into the barnyard, and at once there arose a horrible clatter. The hens made the most noise; they ran around the yard, they climbed on the kitchen windows, and they screamed, beside themselves, "Cut-a-cut! Cut-a-cut! Cut-a-cut! We are hungry! Cook Matryona must "Ladies and gentlemen, have patience!" remarked Gander, standing on one leg. "Look at me. I, too, am hungry, but I don't shout in the way you do. If I were to open my mouth and scream, 'Quack! Quack!' or louder, 'QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!'..." Gander quacked so loudly that Cook Matryona awakened immediately. "It's easy for him to talk of patience," grumbled a Duck. "His throat is like a megaphone. If I had a neck as long as his, and a bill as strong as his, I'd also preach patience. I would also have my food before any one else, and preach patience to the others. We know Master Gander's patience." Rooster, supporting Duck in this, screamed, "Yes, it's easy for Gander to Hungry birds, like hungry people, become unjust—just because they are hungry. IITURKEY Gobbler, through sheer pride, never scrambled for food like other birds. He always waited patiently for Matryona to chase some greedy bird away and to call him. It was the same this morning. Turkey Gobbler strutted along the side of the "Khe! Khe! I am so hungry," complained Turkey Hen, stepping along behind her husband. "Cook Matryona has already strewn the oats and now, I think, the leftover cereal of yesterday is coming. Khe! Khe! Oh, how I do love cereal! I think I could eat nothing but cereal the rest of my life. I even dream of cereal sometimes." Turkey Hen liked to complain when she was hungry and she demanded sympathy from Turkey Gobbler. Compared with other birds, she looked like an old woman, humping her back and coughing. She even walked with a broken gait, as if her legs didn't belong to her. "Yes, it would be nice to have some cereal," said Turkey Gobbler, agreeing with her. "But a wise bird never scrambles "There is not another like you," said Turkey Hen. "Of course not," said her husband. "In reality, cereal is nothing. It is not a question of cereal, but of Matryona. Am I not right? As long as there is Matryona there will be cereal. Everything in the world depends upon Matryona—oats, cereal, grains and crusts of bread." In spite of these discussions, Turkey Gobbler began to feel the pangs of hunger. He became very sad indeed. All the birds had been fed, and still Matryona did not call him. Could she have forgotten him? That would be no joke. Then something happened which A young hen, walking near the barn, began to call, "Cut-a-cut! Cut-a-cut! Cut-a-cut!" All the other hens took up the call at once, screaming with all their might, "Cut-a-cut! Cut-a-cut!" Loudest of all was Rooster, of course, with his "Cock-a-doodle-doo! Who's there?" Attracted by the noise, all the birds ran toward the barn. There they saw a most unusual sight. Close to the barn, in a hole, lay something gray and round and all covered with sharp needles. "Just an ordinary stone," said one. "It's moving," exclaimed Little Hen. "I also thought it was a stone, but it moved when I came close, and it seems to me that I saw eyes. Stones have no eyes, you know." "A foolish hen can see anything if she is frightened," remarked Turkey Gobbler. "Perhaps it ... it ..." He was interrupted by Gander, who screamed: "It's a mushroom. I have seen mushrooms just like this, only they had no needles." Everybody laughed loudly at the Gander. "It looks more like a hat," someone ventured to say, but this remark, too, met with laughter. "A hat has no eyes." "Let us waste no time in empty conversation. Let us act," decided the Rooster for everybody. "Hey, you thing full of needles, you speak for yourself! What sort of beast are you? I like no fooling. Do you hear?" As there was no answer, the Rooster felt insulted, and threw himself upon the unknown "It is nothing but a huge pine cone," he said. "Nothing tasty about it. Would someone like to try?" Everybody chattered, saying the first thing that occurred to him. There was no end to the different opinions. Turkey Gobbler was the only silent one. All the others chattered while he listened to their foolishness. They clattered and chattered for a long time, until someone shouted: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are wasting time, and needlessly tiring ourselves, when we have Turkey Gobbler with us. He knows everything." "I do, indeed!" said Turkey Gobbler, spreading his tail and puffing out his red wattles. "If you do, then tell us who is this strange creature." "And if I don't want to tell you? Just refuse to tell you?" said Turkey Gobbler. Then all the birds began to beg him to tell them. "You are our wisest bird, Turkey Gobbler. Please tell us. It will cost you nothing." Turkey Gobbler plumed himself for a time and finally said: "Very well. I will. Yes, I will tell you. But first you must answer me—what do you think of me?" "Who doesn't know? You are the wisest of all!" they answered in chorus. "Isn't there a saying, 'As wise as a Turkey?'" "Then you do respect me?" asked Turkey Gobbler. "Of course we do. All of us respect you." Turkey Gobbler plumed himself some more, puffed up his red wattles, strutted around the strange beast three times and finally said: "This is.... So you want to know what this is?" "We do! Please tell us! Don't torture us any longer!" said the others. "This ... but it is creeping!" said Turkey Gobbler. The fowls felt like laughing at him when a giggle was heard and a thin little voice said: "There is the wisest bird of all! He! He! He!" And from under the needles appeared a black snout and two tiny black eyes. The tiny black snout sniffed the air and said: "Hello, everybody! Is it possible that IIIEVERYBODY was horrified at this insult that Porcupine hurled at Turkey Gobbler. Of course, Turkey Gobbler did say a foolish thing just now, but it does not mean that Porcupine has any right to insult him. It is very rude to enter a house and then to insult the master. You must admit that a Turkey Gobbler is a very dignified and imposing bird. There is surely no comparison between him and a Gray Porcupine. Suddenly, everybody sided with Turkey Gobbler and there arose a terrific clatter. "Porcupine probably thinks that all of us are foolish," said Rooster, flapping his wings. "He insulted all of us! If any one is foolish, it is surely the Porcupine himself," said Gander, stretching his neck. "I noticed that at once." "How can mushrooms be foolish?" answered Porcupine. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are wasting time talking to him," shouted Rooster. "He will not understand us, anyway. If, instead, you, Mr. Gander, were to grab his needles on one side, and Master Gobbler and I on the other side, we would at once know who is the wiser, for you cannot hide brains under foolish needles." "I am ready," replied Gander. "It would be better still if I were to grab his Turkey Gobbler was silent all this time. At first, he was overwhelmed by the Porcupine's impudence and he did not know what answer to make. Then Turkey Gobbler grew so angry, so angry that he was horrified at himself. His first wish was to throw himself upon the offender and tear him into tiny bits. Then would the world see and be convinced what a strict and serious bird a Turkey Gobbler is. He even started in Porcupine's direction, blowing himself up more and more, and just as he was about to throw himself upon Porcupine everybody began shouting and scolding the stranger. Turkey Gobbler stopped and waited patiently to see the end of it all. When Rooster suggested that they grab Porcupine's needles and drag him in different directions, Turkey Gobbler stopped his ardor. "Ladies and gentlemen," said he, "perhaps all this can be settled amicably. Yes, it seems to me there is a little misunderstanding here. Leave the whole thing to me." "Very well. Let us wait," agreed the Rooster, unwillingly. He was eager to fight Porcupine. "I know nothing will come of it." "This is my affair," answered Turkey Gobbler calmly. "Just stay around and hear what I say." All the birds formed a ring around Porcupine and waited. Turkey Gobbler walked around the stranger, coughed and said: "Listen, Mr. Porcupine. Let us have a "Heavens! How wise! How wise he is!" thought Turkey Hen, listening to her husband, silent with admiration. "First of all, I want you to understand that you are in respectable, well-behaved society," said Turkey Gobbler, "and that means something. Yes, you may consider it an honor to get into our company." "True! True!" shouted several. "But this is between ourselves. The main thing is not ..." here Turkey Gobbler stopped, was silent a moment for better effect, then continued, "Yes, the main thing is—did you really think that we had no idea what a Porcupine was? I have no doubt that Gander was only joking when he took you for a mushroom. And I can say the same of what Rooster and the "You certainly are, Turkey Gobbler," shouted the fowls in a voice so loud, that poor Gray Porcupine tucked in her little black snout. "Oh, how wise he is!" thought Turkey Hen, beginning to understand what her husband was driving at. "You see, Master Porcupine," continued Turkey Gobbler, "we all like our little jokes. I will not speak for myself. Why not have a little joke? And as I see it, you, Mr. Porcupine, seem also to be of a merry disposition." "And you guessed right," admitted Porcupine, once more showing his little black snout. "I have such a merry disposition that I cannot sleep at night. Many cannot stand that, but sleeping bores me." "You will probably agree best with our Rooster, who crows like mad all night," said Turkey Gobbler. Everybody suddenly became gay. They all felt Porcupine was there to complete their happiness. Turkey Gobbler was triumphant at so cleverly getting out of an awkward situation caused by Porcupine's laughing in his face and calling him stupid. "Now Mr. Porcupine," said Turkey Gobbler, winking, "confess that even you were joking when you said that I was not a wise bird." "Of course, I was joking," said Porcupine, reassuring him. "I have a merry disposition. I love to joke." "Yes, yes, I was quite sure of that. Ladies and gentlemen, have you heard him?" asked Turkey Gobbler. "Of course, we did. No one could doubt it. He was joking." Turkey Gobbler bent close to Porcupine's ear and whispered: "I want to tell you a horrible secret. But only on one condition—don't breathe it to a soul. It is true ... I am a little ashamed to talk about myself ... but how can I help it? I am the wisest bird! At times, it even embarrasses me, but as the wise Russians say, 'You can't hide an awl in a sack.' Please not a word of this to anyone!" |
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