Before leaving Manilla on a lengthened country excursion, it is always desirable to procure introductions to the priests of the district you are going to visit, which may be effected with very little difficulty by almost any of your Spanish acquaintances. As although they are in general a most hospitable class of men, and usually invite any respectable looking European whom chance may throw in their way, to sleep at the convento if he be passing the night at their village, yet without an introduction one remains always a stranger to them, and sees nothing of their usual habits or modes of life.

Sometimes their good-nature is put to a trial by the eccentricities of their British guests, and some odd incidents happen. A good story is told of one of the former British merchants of the place, who having taken it into his head to make an excursion, before starting provided himself with letters of recommendation from the Archbishop of Manilla, to whom he paid court by loans of newspapers, addressed to the parish priests, and set off with these in his pocket, finding them of the greatest service in insuring a welcome wherever he went, being described therein in the most favourable colours, by the high church dignitary.

One day, after a long and fatiguing ride, he arrived, about two in the afternoon, in a very ravenous state, at a convent or parsonage. On ascending the stairs of the convento, the first thing which met the eyes of the hungry traveller was a table neatly arranged for the padre’s dinner, who, he was informed by the servants, would be back in about an hour to dine. An hour still—why it seemed to be a century since he had broken his fast; however, he waited for what appeared to a hungry man to be a long time, but in reality was probably ten minutes, when, losing all patience at the non-appearance of the priest, whose house he had so coolly taken possession of, he told the boys to put something to eat on the table, and they, apparently mistaking his meaning, in a trice served up the good priest’s half-cooked dinner, which, without the delay of asking any questions, he proceeded to devour. In a very short space of time he had cleared away the best part of it, and was beginning to relax in his exertions, as the good effects of a hearty meal began to mollify his craving stomach, in fact he was just beginning to attack the last relic of a fat capon, which formed the main battle of the dishes set out before him, when a heavy footstep was heard on the stairs, and in another instant the gaunt figure of the priest himself stood before the empty plates on the dinner table, and the unknown and unexpected guest, whose jaws were at the moment occupied in masticating the last morsel of the fat fowl, which the father had ordered for himself, and looking forward to it had caused him to take a lengthened promenade, in order to promote appetite. Imagine the scene—but whether the good padre’s momentary wrath, and then utter astonishment and indignation, or the guest’s embarrassment, were greatest—or the most ludicrous, it would be hard to determine. For some time they merely looked at each other, without speaking—the priest, probably, because he could not articulate—and his guest, perhaps, because his mouth was full—till the absurdity of the whole affair apparently striking them both at once, they mutually broke out into laughter, the violence of which threatened to convulse them. From this, however, the padre was the first to recover, when the intruder, mastering his muscles, regained his countenance so far as to be able to mutter something in the shape of an apology, in which, probably, the word “starvation” was the only one intelligible; after it had been good-humouredly received, and the priest had welcomed the strange guest, the Archbishop’s letter was produced as his credentials, but not till then. And afterwards they passed the evening together in the old convento, which, as the evening advanced, rang to many a merry laugh and jest about the affair in which both had figured so awkwardly.

The caprices of all the visitors to the country are not, however, so harmless; it is not long since a party of young men, headed by one notorious for his love of fun, and what are called practical jokes, chartered a chatta, or covered cargo boat, of from 25 to 30 tons, and having put two carronades on board of her, set sail for the laguna, and while there amused themselves by bearing down, after nightfall, on the villages and towns on its banks, and bombarding them with the guns, taking care, however, not to do harm or to kill any one, either by not shooting the guns, or if there was a ball in one of them, by aiming it a little over the houses, so as not to damage them. On the noise made by the guns being heard, and the flash seen so close to them in the dark nights, the whole male population of the place would turn out in haste to repel the attack of this supposed band of tulisanes, arming themselves with any sort of weapon, and getting the women and children out of harm’s way by sending them off—and probably an urgent despatch would be forwarded by the gobernadorcillo of the village to the governor of the province, if he lived within some few miles of him, requesting assistance—or detailing the flight of the robbers, who, on seeing the determination and force of the villagers prepared to defend their hearths, had not ventured to attempt landing, but had sailed away without having been able to do any damage to the pueblo.

These midnight bombardments were repeated so frequently as to lead the local authorities to make great efforts to put down the daring troop of robbers who bearded them at their very doors at the town of Santa Cruz, near which the Governor lives, and kept the country people, who had begun to talk about them, in a state of constant alarm.

Notwithstanding all their efforts to discover the hiding-place of the band, nothing could be found out about them, no one ever imagining that the party of gentlemen in the chatta could be at all mixed up with them—in fact, the well-intentioned alcalde of the province, hearing that such a party was visiting the lake, sent off a ministro to give them information about the desperate band of tulisanes who were lurking in the neighbourhood, and advised them to be upon their guard against an attack; for which attention they of course thanked him, and assured the envoy that it was for that reason only they had provided themselves with the two formidable looking pieces of ordnance which he saw in the boat.

They were not found out to have been representing the parts of the supposed tulisanes, till, on their return to Manilla, where people had heard of the disturbances in the province of the Laguna by these robbers, and were talking about it, the story somehow got wind, and, when it was known who had caused so much trouble, of course there was a general laugh at the local authorities.

Lucky enough it was, however, that the affair rested there, as all of the party might have suffered severely for their amusement and fondness for carronading. It only caused the government to increase their strictness in giving passports to the country, which now were only conceded on the pleas of urgent business, or of ill health when that was backed by a medical certificate; the alcalde also became more strict in seeing that all travellers through the province were provided with these documents.