  The follow-up retreat at Pendle Hill was much more than a reunion or season of rejoicing. We undertook together an intensive evaluation of what had been experienced. One couple, for example, had had to cope with a marriage in serious conflict so we set up a role-playing re-enactment of the situation to serve as a learning experience for the whole group. We also tried to pool our ideas about the best way to plan and lead marriage enrichment retreats. Our agenda covered the following areas: Organizing the Retreat. Time, place, cost, recruitment of couples, size of group, preparatory materials. Methods and Techniques. Introductions, agenda, directing discussion, dividing up, special exercises, crisis situations, evaluation. Leadership Roles. Qualifications, goals, training, couple teamwork, preparation, vulnerability, follow-up. Future Plans. Further retreats, training new leaders, cooperation with other groups, books and materials. Other Areas for Enrichment. Retreats for youth, premarital couples, parents and teen-agers, solo parents, senior citizens, Meeting members. A number of issues of particular concern to the group were extensively discussed. One was the distinction between our retreats and group marriage counseling on the one hand, sensitivity training and encounter groups on the other. Another issue concerned our emphasis on positive interaction, and the discouragement, though not avoidance, of overt expression of negative feelings between members of the group. We also discussed what causes marriages to get "stuck" so that they cease to grow. This led us naturally to consider the limitations of lay leaders without training in marriage counseling, and how to make effective referrals to professionals when this seems to be indicated. We also talked about the use of In all our discussions we were looking forward. There was a confident assurance that we had found something of great importance that must be communicated to others—to the Society of Friends generally, but to the wider world as well. |
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