  It was not that Martha Tucker was particularly fond of horses so much as that she was afraid of automobiles of every sort, kind, or description. That was why she said that she would never consent to her husband’s purchasing a motor carriage. “Horses were good enough for my father, and I guess that horses will do for me as long as I live and John is able to keep them,” said she to various friends on numerous occasions. But if she was ridiculously old-fashioned in her notions, John was The Tuckers always spent their summers at Arlinberg, the roads around which were famous for driving; and almost their only out-door “I gave up smoking to please Martha when we first married, but I do not intend to give up the idea of running an automobile of my own, just because she has the old-fogy notions of the Hiltons in her blood. Her father never rode in a steam-car, although the road passed by his back door, and all the Hiltons are old-fogyish—which sums up their faults.” John said this to an old school-mate “Wouldn’t she try one of your neighbor’s automobiles, and see how she likes it?” “No, sir; her no is a no. But I mean to ride in one with her sometime, if I have to blindfold her and tell her it’s a baby-carriage.” It may have been a week after this conversation that John and Martha wandered in the woods picking wild flowers, and Mrs. Tucker was inoculated with ivy-poisoning that settled in her eyes, so that for several days she was confined to her room, and when she came out she was told by her doctor to wear smoked glasses for a week or two, her eyes still being inflamed and very painful. “Keep John was sincerely sorry for his wife’s misfortune, but when he heard that she would see through a glass darkly for the matter of a week or two, he made up his mind to act and act quickly. They went out for a ride that he might test her vision. The horse he was driving was a gray, Roanoke by name. “My dear,” said Mr. Tucker, “don’t you think that the gait of this black horse is very like that of Roanoke?” “I’m sure I can’t tell,” said Martha. “With these dismal glasses on I’m not quite sure “Well, the doctor says you’ll be all right in a week or two. By the way, Martha, I’m going to run down to New York to-morrow on business. I’ll be back in the evening. If your eyes were all right you might come along, but as it is, I guess you’d better not go down.” “No; driving around with James will do me more good than a stuffy train. Come home as soon as you can, dear, and—” She hesitated. “I hate the old things, but if you are so set on trying one of those “Why, I believe I will, my dear. I wish I could overcome your prejudice against them.” “But you can’t, dear, so don’t try.” When Mr. Tucker reached New York, the first thing that he did was to visit an automobile repository. “Would it be possible for you to let me have an automobile that could be operated from behind, so that my wife and I could sit in front and simply enjoy the ride?” “Why, certainly,” said the man. “We have every style known to the most advanced makers.” “And could I have shafts attached to it, so that if it broke down “But, sir, our machines never break down. That is why we are selling one every minute in the working-day. Our agents are located in every known city of the earth, and our factories are running day and night, and in spite of it we are falling behind in our orders in a rapidly increasing ratio.” “Is that so?” said Mr. Tucker, turning to leave the store. “Then I’m afraid I’ll have to go elsewhere, as I wanted one shipped to me to-morrow or next day. A birthday present for my wife, you understand.” “Oh, I suppose,” said the wily salesman, “that I could let you in “Of course the payment will be cash. That’s the only way I ever pay.” A half-hour from that time John Tucker was being propelled through New York’s busy streets in a smoothly running, almost noiseless, automobile worked from behind, and its way led down to a harness store in Chambers Street. As yet there were no shafts, but he had provided for a pair. Mr. Tucker went into the harness-store. “Good-day,” said he. “I want to buy a wooden horse like the one out in front, only covered with horse-skin.” “Well, sir,” said the clerk, “we don’t manufacture them ourselves “No, but I want to try an experiment. Would it be possible for me to have a mechanical horse built that would move its legs in a passable imitation of trotting?” “Nowadays everything is possible,” said the salesman; “but it would be very expensive.” “Well, I’ll tell you just what I want it for,” said Mr. Tucker, and entered into details concerning Mrs. Tucker’s aversion to automobiles, her ivy-poisoning, and his scheme. The clerk seemed interested. “If the lady’s eyes are as inflamed as all that,” said he, “she would not notice the lack of natural motion, and it would be easy to place a contrivance inside of the Mr. Tucker clapped his hands like a boy. “That’s fine! My wife will get thoroughly used to an automobile without knowing she is riding in one, and then when she recovers the use of her eyes I’ll give the wooden horse a well-earned “It’s only a question of expense, sir, and you say that is nothing.” “Of course it’s nothing. Nothing is anything if I can take my wife out automobiling without her knowing it.” Three days later Mr. Tucker said to his wife at luncheon: “My dear, as this is your birthday, I have given myself the pleasure of buying you a new horse and wagon, and it will be ready for us to go out in half an hour.” “Oh, you dear, thoughtful man!” said Mrs. Tucker, beaming as well as she was able to through her smoked glasses. Then she rose “You are always doing things to please me,” said she. “No such thing,” he replied. “You may not like this horse as well as you like Roanoke or Charley, but it is quite a swagger turn-out, and I’ve decided to have James go with us and sit behind on the rumble.” “Oh, but, my dear, we will not be driving alone if he is with us.” “Nonsense! We’ve been married She approached the horse’s head to pet him A half-hour later Mr. Tucker announced to his wife that he was ready, and she put a few finishing touches to her toilet, bathed her eyes with witch-hazel, adjusted her smoked glasses, and went out to the porte-cochÈre. She dimly discerned the horse, the wagon, the groom at the horse’s head, and her husband. There was an indescribably swagger look about the equipage, and she wished that she could take off her glasses and gloat over her new possession, but the doctor’s orders had been They stepped to their seats; the groom left the horse’s head and handed the reins to Mr. Tucker, mounted the rumble, and off they started. “Why, it’s like sailing,” said Mrs. Tucker. “Pneumatic tires, my dear,” answered her husband glibly. “And how rhythmical the horse’s hoof-beats are!” “An evidence of blood, my darling. I know this horse’s pedigree: by Carpenter out of Chestnut—” “Oh, don’t. I never cared for They had been skilfully guided along the winding path that led to the highway by the chauffeur, who, although he was a James, was not the James who generally worked in the stable, but a James hired at the office of the company in order that he might break in the local James. After they reached the road the way for a mile or more was clear and straight, and they met with no teams. The horse was wonderfully lifelike, except in his action, or rather lack of action, for his forefeet were eternally in an attitude of rest. The hind legs rose “This is the poetry of motion,” said Mrs. Tucker. “I don’t believe you’ll ever find an automobile that can run like this.” “I’ll admit that I wouldn’t wish one to go better. Are you all right back there, James?” “All right, sir.” “Why, how queer James’ voice sounds! I never noticed that squeak in it before.” “It’s the exhilarating effect of our fast driving. Do you think that you could stand a faster pace?” “Why, if you’re not afraid of tiring the horse. He seems to be going like the wind now.” “Why do you say that to James? Did you think he was driving, you absent-minded dear, you?” “I did, for the moment.” James was sure he was driving, and at this command from his employer he put on almost the full force of the electricity. The wagon gave a leap forward, and turning into a macadamized road at this point, they went along at the rate of twenty miles an hour. Mrs. Tucker clutched her husband’s arm. “John, his speed is uncanny. We seem to be going like an express-train!” “It’s the smoothness of the road and his perfect breeding, my dear. Do you notice that this furious gait “No, I hadn’t noticed it; but isn’t it queer how regular his hoof-beats are? and they do not seem to quicken their rate at all.” John had noticed this, too, and he had regretted not having told the manufacturer to arrange the mechanism so that the hoof-beats would become more or less rapid according to the gait; but he answered quickly: “That, my dear, is because he reaches farther and farther. You know some breeds of horses gain speed by quickening their gait. This horse gains it by a lengthened reach. He is a remarkable animal. Actually, my dear, we are overtaking a locomobile.” “Nothing will frighten this horse, Martha. You can rest assured of that.” A minute later they passed the locomobile. If Mrs. Tucker could have seen the codfish eyes of the occupant of the vehicle when he saw a hobby-horse going by at the rate of twenty miles an hour, she would have questioned his sanity. If she could have seen the scared looks and the scared horse of the people in the approaching buggy she would have begun to wonder what possessed her new possession. But her goggles saved her from present worry, and the buggy was passed in a flash. “Oh, I do wish I could take off “Don’t touch your glasses,” said Mr. Tucker, hurriedly. “If a speck of dust or a pebble were to get into your eye, you might become permanently blind. Positively, you are like a child with a new rocking-horse. This turn-out will keep until your eyes are fully recovered, and I hope we may enjoy many a spin in this easy carriage, with or without this horse.” “Never without him, dear. After the delight of this swift motion I never would go back to lazy Roanoke or skittish Charley. I have never ridden in any carriage “She’s a convert already without knowing it,” said her husband to himself, but her next remark dispelled his illusion. “How can any one like a noisy automobile better than this? You can’t improve on nature. By the way, I forgot to ask you if you rode in one the other day in New York.” “To be sure. I didn’t tell you, did I? It was really almost as nice as this, although the traffic impeded us some. Oh, James, look out!” This interruption was involuntary on the part of Mr. Tucker, and his words were not noticed by his wife in the confusion of that which “Oh, John, he’s running away!” Now, this was not quite accurate, for he was being pushed away by a runaway automobile. Mr. Tucker noticed the increased speed and turned to admonish James. The departure of James was coincident with the collision, and he was at that moment extricating himself from a sapling into which he had been pitched. He yelled directions to Mr. Tucker which lacked carrying power. The vehicle had now come to a turn in the road, and not receiving any impulse to the contrary, it made for a stone wall that lay before it. Mr. Tucker knew nothing about the working of the machine, but with admirable presence of mind he seized a projecting rod, and the wagon turned to the left with prompt obedience, but so suddenly that it ran upon two wheels and nearly upset. So far so good, but now what He was too obstinate to disclose his secret until he should be forced to, so he sat still and awaited developments. Developments do not keep you waiting long when you are in a runaway automobile, and in just one minute by his watch, although he did not time it, the end came. Too late to do any good, John Tucker jumped over the back of the seat, because he saw the wooden horse again approaching a stonewall beyond which lay a frog pond. He pulled the lever as before, but he could not have pulled it hard enough, for the next moment Mr. Tucker was not hurt by the impact, for he had grasped an overhanging bough and saved himself. He dropped to earth, vaulted a stone wall, and rescued the fainting figure of his wife. The kindly services of a farmer procured her the shelter of a neighboring farm-house. Mr. Tucker knew from past experiences that his wife was an easy fainter, and after assuring himself that no bones were broken he left her for a few minutes that he might He found him gazing upon the ruins of the wooden horse. Upon learning that the man was uninjured he drew a bill from his pocket and said: “My boy, here’s money for your expenses and your wages, and if there is any go in this machine, run her to New York and tell your people that they can have her as a gift. I am through with automobiles.” But a half-hour later Mrs. Tucker, fully conscious but somewhat weak, sat up on the bed in the farmer’s best chamber and said: “John, I think that if it had been a horseless automobile it wouldn’t have been so bad.” Whereupon John overtook James And now John is convinced that his wife is a thoroughbred. WHILE THE A CHRISTMAS EXTRAVAGANZA |
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