COACHING ACQUAINTANCES—STAGE-COACHMEN OF BYGONE AND MODERN DAYS—AMATEUR DRIVERS—REQUISITES FOR DRIVING—CRACK DRIVERS—A POPULAR DRAGSMAN—HIS PRIVILEGES—HIS ACCOMPLISHMENTS.

CHAPTER X.

I once heard a man say that some of his pleasantest acquaintances were people he had picked up on stage-coaches; but I cannot say "ditto" to that. He must either have been singularly fortunate in his companions, or singularly unfortunate in his general acquaintances. A coaching acquaintance seldom—I should imagine—never ripened into intimacy; seldom, indeed, survived the occurrence that produced it. Had the above authority included stage-coachmen, to a certain degree I would have indorsed his opinion; for, in bygone days, I have sat beside many agreeable dragsmen; and, from the time that the heavy coach gave way to the fast one, there has been a wonderful improvement in the coachmen. The driver was formerly a man of enormous bulk, with a rubicund face, greatly addicted to strong ale, often indulging in language the reverse of parliamentary.

There are so many varieties of drunkenness, that it is difficult to define the state the old-fashioned coachman was too often reduced to. We hear of a man being "as drunk as a lord;" of being "on;" of being "muzzy;" of being "cut;" of being "two sheets in the wind;" of having "a drop too much;" of being "incapable." Perhaps of the above epithets "muzzy" would be the most appropriate, as owing to the numerous stoppages at wayside public-houses, the coachman had a tankard to his lips every half-hour.

The fast coachmen were well-conditioned, in many instances well-educated men, who could sing a song, and tell a good story to while away the time. They formed a great contrast to the old-fashioned coachmen of heavy coaches, who were too often drunkards, as I have remarked, and who were conspicuous for their inhumanity in the use of the double thong and a sort of cat-o'-nine tails called "the apprentice," with which they unmercifully lashed their wheelers.

It was rather amusing, though mischievously so, to witness the consternation of the inside passengers when some amateur on the box "handled the ribbons." Except with a very fast team, the coachman would turn to his companion and say,

"If you have your driving-gloves on, and would like to take the reins over the next ten miles, you are welcome to do so."

Of course the reply was in the affirmative. If a tyro accepted the offer, it was very easy to discover the difference between the professional and the unprofessional, which the horses themselves seemed to feel. They became sluggish; not all the "gee upping" and "go alonging," and the harmless use of the whip, the lash of which usually got entangled in the lamp or harness, could keep them up to their work.

This was so apparent that some inside passenger would put his head out of the window and inquire the cause of the creeping pace they were proceeding at.

"A heavy piece of road, Sir," responded the coachman, who thought more of the guinea or half-guinea he expected to receive than of the loss of time. "Why, I declare," said the inquiring gentleman, resuming his seat, "there's a young fellow driving, and I rather think it must be his first attempt!"

"Oh, let me out!" exclaims an elderly spinster; "we shall be overturned."

"Disgraceful!" chimed in another. "It was only last week that the Windsor coach met with an accident through the reckless driving of some inexperienced fellow."

"I'll report you," said an old gentleman, just roused from his slumbers. "I paid my fare to be driven by the proper coachman, and not by a puppy who probably never sat behind four horses in his life."

"And I'll have you dismissed, coachman, for risking our lives," added another.

Then came a jerk, which caused all the insides to break forth into the following exclamations:

"There, I told you!"

"We are going over!"

"Do, pray, take the reins, Mr. Coachman!"

In the mean time the "swell dragsman" and his young friend were laughing heartily at the fears of their precious burden. "Lots of fear, ma'am, but no danger," said the former, while the latter inquired where the coachman was going to "shoot his rubbish."

When some experienced amateur took the reins, and with the aid of the whip judiciously applied, sent the sluggish steed along at the rate of ten miles an hour, the scene above described again took place, for the timid female passenger, like the widows of Ashur, was "loud in her wail."

In those days young Etonians, Harrovians, collegians, and officers were all taught to drive by the professional coachmen on the road, and anyone that could manage a refractory team over a stage or two of ten miles was deemed a proficient, and fit to belong to the four-horse driving club.

A great many aspirants for coaching honours fancy that sitting quietly on the box, and guiding the animals safely along the road, without coming in contact with a post, a curb stone, or another carriage, is all that is required; but this is far from being the case. To become a downright good coachman, a man should be able to put the team together, so as to alter a trace or bit during the journey; he must take care that every horse does his work, and must keep the jades up to the collar. He must then be careful to ease his horses up a hill, spirting down one, and taking advantage of any level piece of road, make up for the slower pace of a heavier one. He must also learn how to handle his whip, so as to flip off a horse-fly from his leaders, and to double thong a refractory wheeler when gibbing or refusing to work; he must remain perfectly placid upon the box, even amidst danger never losing his head or his temper, always remembering that upon his presence of mind depends the fate of his passengers.

Many noblemen and gentlemen there are who can drive cleverly broken thoroughbred horses admirably well, but who would be at a loss if called upon to drive a stage-coach or a "scratch" team to Epsom or Ascot. There are, of course, many honourable exceptions, and I select a few, and there may be others, who could worthily fill the places of the late "Oxford Will," Jack Adams, "Piers," "Falkner," "Probyn," and Parson Dennis.

At the head of the list I would place two noble Plantagenets—the Duke of Beaufort and his son, the Marquis of Worcester, who are nulli secundus; next the Earls of Sefton and Craven, Lords Londesborough, Aveland, Carington, Cole, and Tredegar, Colonels Tyrwhitt, Owen Williams, the Honourable C. White, and Armytage, Messrs. Cooper, Trotter, F. Villiers, and H. Wombwell.

It may appear invidious to select the above when there are probably many more equally good; but I have witnessed the prowess of the above, and speak not only from what I have myself seen, but from what I have heard from others.

There was something in the nature of a stage-coachman, a whip of bygone days, that smacked (we mean no pun) of conscious importance. He was the elect of the road on which he travelled, the imitated of thousands. Talk of an absolute monarch, indeed! The monarch even on his own highway was but a gingerbread one to the "swell dragsman." To him Jem the ostler rushed in servile eagerness, to him Boniface showed the utmost deference, for him the landlady ever had a welcome reception, towards him the barmaid smiled and glanced in perpetual amicability, and around him the helpers crowded as to the service of a feudal lord. Survey him as he bowled along the road, fenced in coats in Winter, or his button-hole decorated with a rose in Summer. Listen to the untutored melody of his voice, as he directed the word of exhortation to his spanking tits—three chestnuts and a grey—enforcing his doctrine with a silver-mounted whip, the gift of some aristocratic patron of the road, and he will present a feature of social life in England which no other country possessed. Hark! already he is entering the village; the well-known horn sounds, the leaders rattle along the road, and the inhabitants rush out to bid him a hearty welcome. To some he grants a familiar nod, to others a smile of recognition, and a few only are honoured by the warmer salutation of,

"Ah! how are you, old fellow? Glad to see you. Why, you are as fresh as paint."

He was regarded by all as a privileged person, being possessed of the power to speed the soft intercourse from soul to soul, and, at the rate of ten miles an hour, bring the travelled husband to the partner of his sorrow and his joy. He could transport the lover to the feet of his mistress; he could convey the long-absent son to the arms of his doting parents; he could bear the schoolboy from the scene of his tasks to his much-sought-for happy holiday home. How delightful was it to behold him on a calm Summer's evening bowling through the market town, through the well-watered streets, with a crew of ragged urchins, screaming and throwing rural bouquets, culled from the hedgerows and verdant meadows, on to the box-seat! A smile is on every face on hearing the sound of the horn—all run to the door to see the coach go by; the maid-servant drops her mop in the hope of a packet from her rustic admirer; the youngster plays truant for a few seconds in the anticipation of a cake from his too-indulgent mother; the shopman quits his counter to ascertain whether a bale of goods has been consigned to him from the metropolis; the potboy from the public-house holds out his rabbit-skin cap as the guard dexterously throws the neighbouring squire's daily newspaper into it; the barber extends his apron for his weekly journal; and even the parson, the pedagogue, the lawyer, and the exciseman, the four most influential inhabitants of the place, doff their hats as they recognise the popular "dragsman" and his well-appointed "turn-out."

With respect to his accomplishments they were usually more select than numerous. I speak of the professional coachman of a century and a half ago, and not of the more gifted ones, and amateurs who came into fashion just before the rail drove horseflesh off the road. If the language of the old whip had not the art of a Sydney Smith, it had the easy style of nature, with expletive beauties more particularly its own. On the Shakespearean principle that "discourse is heavy fasting," the coachman never changed horses at a wayside public-house or inn without fortifying his stomach with a snack. Flowing, natural, anecdotal, and occasionally witty (garnished with a few hearty national Attic anathemas) was the conversation of the driver in bygone days; while in the science of music he was generally no mean proficient, warbling forth "Robin Adair," "The Thorn," "The woodpecker tapping the hollow beech-tree," and other popular melodies of the day, to the delight of the outside passengers.