Involution and Evolution are two rules of arithmetic which signify getting in and getting out. Involution signifies such matters as getting in love, getting into a lawsuit, or getting into debt. It is the rule of entanglement, and is represented by a fly in a spider's web.

Evolution comprehends all the tricks, shifts, schemes, and stratagems, by which we get out of our various difficulties; but it may be observed that it is much easier to become involved in any matter, than to get disentangled: whatever may be our evolutions, it is a difficult matter to get out of love, out of a law-suit, or out of debt.

LAW EVOLUTION—GETTING INTO A LAW-SUIT.

GETTING INVOLVED, OR IN DEBT.

The ways of getting into debt are multiform. To be involved is patriotic, fashionable, genteel, and sentimental. To pay is vulgar, inconvenient, and unpopular. The man who lives within his means is never considered to have any means. A man in debt possesses an interest and an importance truly pleasurable. It is surely something to know that in your little self a hundred are subject to hopes, fears, anxieties, speculations, aspirations, and a world of such like poetry. The greater the number of creditors, the greater must be the sensation produced; and the production of a sensation is every thing in fashionable society.

The old proverb was, "Out of debt out of danger;" but modern arithmetic teaches, "In debt out of danger;" the law of debtor and creditor being fashioned according to this maxim, which is now the Lex Scripta of the courts. To be over head and ears in debt, is the best security; "debt is the safest helmet." To be not worth powder and shot, or to make believe you are not, is the best method of keeping on the wing. It requires, however, some curious evolutions to enable an empty sack to stand upright.

LOVE EVOLUTION, OR GETTING IN LOVE.

This is an involuntary process, and an entanglement equally powerful with the meshes of the law. In this case, however, the pleasure increases with the entanglement, as the fly said in the honey-pot. The arms of a fair lady are the softest bonds; the poison of a maiden's lip the sweetest poison. To be in love is to be entangled in a cobweb of ten thousand ecstasies, where every string is bliss, and every mesh is beauty. In this web, Cupid sits as an angel in one corner, and Hymen on the other; thus bound with sighs, tied with kisses, linked by embraces, chained by tears, lovers disport themselves; till Hymen, in fear that they should die of ecstasy, tightens the web, and binds them hand and foot in the true lover's knot of matrimony.

PARLIAMENTARY EVOLUTION.

HOW TO GET INTO PARLIAMENT.

Supposing yourself to be a green yokel, just raw from school, with little wit, little money, and little influence, act as follows:—

1. Marry for the sake of respectability and a little more money.

2. Give away soup to the poor, flannel petticoats, trusses, and baby linen.

3. Set up schools on the free system, "every boy his own archbishop:" Free-trade in religion, and no walloping.

4. Get into a squabble with your Rector, about free grace and non-election.

5. Write once a week in the dissenters' "slop pail," against clerical intolerance, tithe pigs, "red noses," round paunches, lawn sleeves.

6. Attend the jawy jobations of Exeter hall, as a "flowery speaker," and advocate various Jew, Gipsy, Voluntary Church, Anti-pseudo-baptistical Societies, till you are black in the face.

7. Join the Society for the Diffusion of Useless Knowledge, the Donkey Protecting Society, and other congenial "Institutes."

8. Build a chapel, and bribe a congregation to come to it. Become a teetotaller; be a betwixt and betweenish, half-and-half, out-and-out radical. Defeat the imposition of a Church rate—rave against the taxes—pledge yourself to support triangular parliaments, universal suffering—blindfold voting—and confusion to all order.