T'S a classical fact very few know

(If any one knows it at all),

That Jove once prevail'd upon Juno

To issue her cards for a ball.

Olympus, of course, was delighted;

The notion was charming—so

new!

And the whole of the gods were

invited,

The whole of the goddesses too;

Including a few lucky mortals,

Especially well known to fame,

(For Olympus ne'er open'd its portals,

Except to the crÈme de la crÈme.)

At eleven the guests were arriving,

All drest up remarkably grand;

At midnight Apollo came driving

Full pelt, in a neat four-in-hand!

In passing Parnassus he'd popp'd in,

And brought on the Muses inside;

Minerva soon afterwards dropp'd in,

And Vulcan, escorting his bride.

Lovely Venus was quite condescending,

(But chroniclers freely confess,

She was not in the habit of spending

Extravagant sums upon dress.)

The ball-room, one couldn't help feeling,

Was got up regardless of cost;

And the satyrs and nymphs on the ceiling

Were worthy of Etty or Frost.

The band that was hir'd for the dancers

(The best they could possibly get)

Look'd down with disdain on the "Lancers,"

And stuck to the "Court Minuet."

Young Ganymede carried round ices,

And Hebe (a pert-looking minx)

Cut the pineapple up into slices,

While Bacchus took charge of the drinks.

Terpsichore danced like a feather;

In fact, the spectators agreed

That she and young Zephyr together

Made very good partners indeed.

Then Momus began to grow witty;

The Graces oblig'd with a glee;

While Pan sang a pastoral ditty,

And Neptune a song of the sea!

Minerva sat pompously boring

The Muses with blue-stocking talk;

And Bacchus was put to bed snoring,

Completely unable to walk.

An hour before daylight was shining

The prudish Diana had flown

To the spot where Endymion was pining

To meet her by moonlight alone.

The next to depart was Apollo,

Who leapt on his chariot at seven:

No eye in Olympus could follow

The track of his coursers through heaven!

The lamps were beginning to burn out,

And sunshine was flooding the hall,

When the last who thought proper to turn out

Drove homeward from Jupiter's ball.