Of all the bores whom now and then

Society permits

To speak to literary men,

And mix among the wits,

The worst are those that will devote

Their little minds to anecdote.

I often listen (more or less)

To muffs of many kinds—

Including people who possess

Encyclopaedic minds:

But oh! the biggest muff afloat

Is he who takes to anecdote.

I like the man who makes a pun,

Or drops a deep remark;

I like philosophy or fun—

A lecture or a lark;

But I despise the men who gloat

Inanely over anecdote.

I quake when some one recollects

A "little thing" he heard,

And, while he tells the tale, expects

A grin at every word.

Can any one on earth promote

Good fellowship through anecdote?

Ah me! I'd rather live alone

Upon a desert isle,

Without a voice except my own

To cheer me all the while,

Than dwell with men who learn by rote

Their paltry funds of anecdote!