Ille ego qui quondam, I am hee that in ould season have made Lilly leape out of his skinne, & with a muster of sentences out of his syntaxis have besieged the eares of the audience in the behalfe of the wretched. But alas!—Mihi isthic nec seritur nec metitur; it is to mee neither a sorrye turne nor a merrye turne. I have sifted out for other mens sakes the flower of my fancye, that I have left nothing but the branne in my braine. And yet who is there amongst them that in the depth of my distresse will speake for the poore porter, who meltes 10 the muses into mourninge or turnes Parnassus into plaintes, Hellicon into heavines, Apollo into an apollogie, for my sake? My learninge goeth not beyond Lillye, nor my reading beyond my rules, yet have I for them so canvast their concavitye that I have opened their entraills, so dived into the depth of them that I have manifested their marrowe, soe pried into their profunditye that I have plac't the verye pith of them before you. And, alas that I should F. 83^v rev. now speake for my selfe, what remaines for mee but the rinde & the barke, when I have given the roote & 20 the bodye to others? What remaines for mee but the shell, when I have given others the substaunce, what remaines for mee but the curdes, when I have given others the creame? Yea, what is left for mee but the paringes, when I have given others the peares? But I therin made knowen my valour, for you knowe, Aliorum vitia cernere oblivisci suorum, to supplye other mens wants & to forgett his owne, proprium est stultitiÆ, is the parte of a stoute man; since then I must speake for my selfe, Stat mihi casus renovare omnes; you shall 30 heare the whole cause, case, and the course of it.

Sub nocte silenti, (i) in nocte vel paulo ante noctem, cum spectatur in ignibus aurum; when you might have seene gold in the fier, the fier shin'de so like gold, Ecce per opaca locorum, came the fidlers creeping alonge, densa subter testudine casus, their instruments vnder their arms, in their cases, & at lenghe, Itum est in viscera terrÆ, broke open into the harte of the hall; neither when they were there could they bee content to F. 83^r rev.warme their fingers by the fier and bee gone, though I 40 would have persuaded them thereto, but Iuvat vsque morari et conferre gradum; they would needes staye & the youth daunce; but oh to see, woe to see, that pleasure is but a pinch and felicitye but a phillippe; when as Juvat ire per altum, some were cutting capers aloft in the ayre, canit similiter huic, and they likewise with their minstrelsey fitting it to their footing, all on a suddaine, Subito I may say to them, but Repente to mee, their sporte was spoild, their musicke marrd, their dauncinge dasht with a vox hominem sonat, with a voyce, 50 with an awefull voice, HÆccine fieri flagitia; ar these the fruites of the fires; statur a me, (i) sto, statur ab illis, (i) stant; they that even now scrap't so fast with their stickes fell now to scraping faster with their leggs; their fum fum was turn'd to mum mum, and their pleasaunt melodye to most pittifull making of faces; but when they look't that their fiddles should have flyen about their eares, their calveskin cases about their calveshead pates, as the sunne shines brightest through a shower, so did softnes in the midst of severitye: F. 82^v rev.there was noe more 60 said to them but, Teque his ait eripe flammis; they were best, since they had made many mens heeles warme with shakinge, to coole their owne by quaking without doore. But the more mercy was shewed before, the lesse was left for mee. Had I beene dealt with soe mercifullye, I had not neede to have come with this exclamation, or had it beene but gratia ab officio, but a groat out of mine office, I should not have stonied the stones nor rented the rockes with my dolorous outcryes.

But when it shall come to denarii dicti quod denos, 70 when tenn groats shall make a muster togeather and sitte heavy on my head, actum est ilicet, the porter periit. O weathercoke of wretchednes that I am, seated on the may-pole of misfortune; whither shall I turne, or to whome shall I looke for releife? Shall I speake to my minstrells for my money? Why, they have allready forsaken mee, to the verifieng of the ould proverbe; Quantum quisque sua nummorum servat in arca, tantum habet et fidei; as long as a man hath money in his purse, so long hee shall have the fidlers. What is to bee looked 80 for of them that will doe nothing without pay, and hard-mony for their harmonye? Shall I speake to my frends? Why: nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes. F. 43^r rev.Oh, then, lett mee runne to the speare of Achilles (recorded by auncient philosophers) which first hurt mee and last can heale mee: lett my penitencye find pittye, and my confession move compassion; if you will live according to rule, ever after penitet, tÆdet, lett miseret, miserescit succeede.

That they came in, it was a fault of oversight in not overseeing my office: if any should slinke by Cerberus 90 out of hell, it weare a thing to bee wondred at, & yet wee see there doth, ther are so many spirritts walking. If any should steale by Janus into heaven, it weare much woorthy of marvaile, and yet wee see there doth, there are soe many of Jupiters lemmans: if anye should skippe in or out by mee it is not to bee admired: for why? Cerberus the porter of hell hath 3 heads, Janus hath two, & I your poore colledg porter have but one. That they weare not putt out of the colledge when they weare in, it was a fault; but a fault of curtesie; for who could 100 find in his hart, when hee seeth a man accompanied with musicke, musis comitantibus, to bidd him, Ibis Homere foras, gett you home for an asse?

F. 42^v rev.But though my breast (I must confesse) weare then somewhat moved with their melodye, yet heerafter my breast shall bee marble when they warble: Nemo sibi Mimos accipere debet favori, I will never lett in minstrells againe vpon favour; for your selves I can say no more but profit; & when (after this Christmas cheere is ended) you fall againe to your studdies, I could wish that 110 Hippocrene may bee Hippocrise, the muses Muskadine, & the Pierides pies every day for your sakes; and as for my tenn groates, if it will please you to remitte it, I will give you decies decem mille gratiarum. Dixi.

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II.

F. 46^r rev. A speech delivered by Francis Clarke to the Ladie Keneda.

Noble ladye, give him leave that hath beene so bolde as to take leave, to speake before your ladyshipp, and out of the prognosticks, not of profound pond or deepe dale, but out of the candlesticke of mine owne observation, to give your ladyshipp some lightning of a great thunder that will happen in the morning.

The reason of it is a flatt, slimye, & sulphureous matter exhaled out of the kitchins & enflamed in the highest region of the dripping pannes, which will breed fiery commetts with much lightning and thunder. And 10 the influence of it will so domineere in the cooks heads, that are brought vpp under the torridd zone of the chimney, that few of them will take rest this night, & suffer as few to take rest in the morning. They have sett a little porch before so great an house, and have called their show the flye. Some say because a maide comming to towne with butter was mett by a cooke & by him deceaved in a wood neare adioyning, whose laments the dryades and hamadriades of the place, pittieng, turned her into a butterflie; & ever since the cooks are bound to this 20 anniversary celebration of her metamorphosis; but soft, if the cooks heare that the porridgpott of my mouth F. 45^v rev.runnes over soe, they will keele it with the ladle of reprehension; therfore I will make hast away, onely asking this boone, which wilbee as good as a bone to the cookes; that your ladyshipps servaunt Monsieur Piers may ride to-morrowe with the fierye fraternitye of his fellowe cookes, & make vpp the worthy companye of the round table, which they are resolvd not to leave till the whole house goe rounde with them. 30

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III.

A Speech spoken by Francis Clarke in the behalfe of the freshmen.

F. 44^v rev.Ne sÆvi, magne sacerdos, bee not so severe, great session holder; lett pittie prevaile over the poenitent, lett thy woords of woormwood goe downe againe into thy throate, & so by consequence into thy belly, but lett not those goe to the place from whence they came, & so by cohÆrence to the place of exequution: and though these bee, as it is rightly said in the rule, Turba gravis paci placidÆque inimica quieti, yet thinke what goes next before, Sis bonus Ô felixque tuis: and although I must needes say I am sorry for it that Fertur atrocia flagitia 10 designasse, yet remember what followes immediatlye in the place; Teque ferunt irÆ poenituisse tuÆ.

Your lordshipp is learned as well as I (it is bootles & I should offer you the bootes), you knowing the Latine to expounde.

I am heere the jaylor, the Janus, the janitor; you are the judge, the justice, the Jupiter, to this miserable companye; yet beare I not two faces under a hoode, neither deale I doubly betweene your lordshipp & the lewde; for though Janus & the jaylor goe together, vt bifrons, 20 custos, yet Bos stands for a barre to distinguish the jaylor from the theefe, vt bifrons, custos, bos, fur.

O that you weare Jupiter, to bee a helping father to these sonnes of sorrow, or I weare Janus indeed, that I might have two tongues to intreate for this pittifull crew. F. 44^r rev.Looke, O thou flower of favour, thou marigold of mercye and columbine of compassion, looke, O looke on the dolorous dew dropps distilld from the limbecks or loope-holes of their eyes, and plentifully powred on the flower of their faces; O see in these (O thou most exalted 30 eldest sonne of Justice) a lamentable example; consider that homo bulla, honor is but a blast; pittie, O pitty the cause of these hopeles, helples, hartles and indeed half-hanged young men; if they have erred, humanum est, they are men; looke not thou for that of them which you can but expect of gods. Have they spoken against the lawes of your court, why, Dolet dictum imprudenti adolescenti et libero: has their tongue tript, why, Lingua percurrit, it was too quicke for the witt, quicknes is commendable. Pectora percussit, have they fought with 40 your highnes servaunts, have they beene obstinate? Why, they have had their punishment, and toties quoties, went either wett skind or dry beaten to bedd. Quid est quod, in hac causa defensionis egeat; take pittie (O thou peerles patterne of equity) if on nothing els, yet on their youth.

Some of them are heires, all of good abilitye; I beseech your lordshipp with the rest of the ioynd stooles, I would say the bench, take my foolish iudgment, & lett them fine for it, merce them according to their merritts 50 F. 43^v rev.and their purses, wee shall all fare the better for it.

As for other punishments (I speake it with weeping teares) they have suffered no small affliction in my keeping; Est locus in carcere quod dungeanum appellatur; there they lay, noctes atque dies, at no great charge, for, Constat parvo fames; but so laded with irons that I made them Livida armis brachia, & now, see, they are come foorth after all, Trepidus morte futura. O miseresce malis, take pitty on the poore prisners, Patres Æquum esse censent nos iam iam; you may very 60 well remember, since yourselfe weare in the same case. Cutt not off for some few slippes those younge plantes of such towardnes; make not mothers weepe, winke at small faultes, rovoke your sentence, lett the common good have their fines, mee have my fees, they have their lives, and all shalbee well pleased. Dixi.

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IV.

F. 84^v rev.A letter composd for Francke Clarke, the porter of S. John's, who in his brother's behalfe did breake one's head with a blacke staffe.

To Master Laude, then Proctor.

Worshipfull and woorthy Master Proctor, wheras I, your poore vassaile, in charitye towardes my afflicted brother, have stepped over the shooes of my duetye in participatinge or accommodatinge my blacke staffe to the easinge of his over-charged artickles & members, wherby I have iustlye plucked the oulde house, or rather the maine beame of your indignation, upon my impotent and impudent shoulders, I doe now beseech you upon the knees of my sorrowfullnes and marybones of repentance to forgive mee all delictes & crimes as have beene10 formerly committed.

And wheras you, contrary to my desertes, have out of the bottomles pitt of your liberalitye restored mee out of the porters lodge of miserye into the tower of fÆlicitie, by giving that which was due from mee (silly mee) vnto your worshippfull selfe, I meane my ladye pecunia; lett mee intreate you that I may burden the leggs of your liberalitie so much farther, as to deliver mee the afore-said blacke staffe, without which I am a man & noe beast, a wretch & no porter. But wheras it is thus20 by my most vnfortunate fate, that so woorthy a President F. 85^r rev.hath seene so vnworthy a present, I cannott but condole my tragedies, committing you to the profunditye or abisse of your liberalitie, & my selfe to the 3 craues of my adversitie. Dixi.

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NOTES TO THE PLAY OF "NARCISSUS."

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