[1] One of the questions of a questionnaire submitted to prominent neurologists, and published in Mental Hygiene (Oct., 1920) was the following: “Do you consider that absolute continence is always to be insisted upon, or may it be taught that under certain conditions intercourse in the unmarried is harmless or beneficial?”

To this question A. A. Brill of New York gave the following answer: “Years ago I encouraged intercourse in some neurotics who were constantly worrying about sex. I soon found out that it had not benefited them. The same factors which produced the original conflicts continued to disturb them. Now I remove their conflicts by analysis, and then they need no advice. I have known a number of cases who have successfully abstained from two to three years following analysis.”

[2] Used in technical sense explained in § 141.

[3] Berman: The Glands Regulating Personality, N. Y., 1921, p. 96.

[4] Erotism is defined in the dictionaries as a medical word meaning “abnormal sexual desire.” But that is simply because the doctors got hold of it first. There is no Greek word erotism nor yet eroticism, but “erotism” has resulted from being the common element in autoerotism and allerotism and being shorter than eroticism was adopted by the present writer to name the highest type of the combination of body and soul mating. He never suspected till he looked up the word that it had a bad sense in the minds of others. (See also p. 82.)

[5] As will appear in the following chapters (especially § 43), egoistic-social impulses or instincts are those which include the trends toward self-maintenance and self-magnification—practically all impulses that are not truly erotic.

[6] The “playmate” is a new term for an old thing, which does not, however, imply that present conditions are exactly the same as those of Sheridan’s day who, in The School for Scandal, makes Lady Teazle say: “You know I admit you as a lover no farther than fashion sanctions,” to which Joseph Surface replies: “True—a mere Platonic cicisbeo, what every wife is entitled to.” And the Century Dictionary defines cicisbeo as “In Italy, since the 17th century, the name given to a professed gallant and attendant of a married woman; one who dangles about women,” and shows that the word is derived from chiche, little, and beau.

“Tame cats” and “house friends” are also names given today, by these discontented women, to the persons who engage in this form of cicisbeism.

[7] Havelock Ellis, who coined the word autoerotism, defines it as follows (Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Vol. I, page 161): “By ‘autoerotism’ I mean the phenomena of spontaneous sexual emotion generated in the absence of an external stimulus proceeding, directly or indirectly, from another person.” The present writer calls autoerotic those husbands who, in the love episode, secure their own erotic acme, in which their sexual, if not their erotic, tension is relaxed; but either do not know or do not care whether their wives reach a corresponding relaxation. The opposite of autoerotism is allerotism, where the husband places on the wife’s erotic relaxation a value at least equal to that which he places on his own.

[8] Hologamy, however (see §§ 187 to 198), depends on a direct and not an alternating current.

[9] See § 43.

[10] Derived ultimately from cano, sing or utter in impassioned tone and rhythm. Women are more erotically impressed by men’s singing than men are by women’s.

[11] In § 44.

[12] See § 65.

[13] Further discussed in §§ 100-106.

[14] For a more detailed explanation of mother imago, see the chapter on Hologamy and Prostitution.

[15] Stekel, W., in The Homosexual Neurosis (Boston, 1922) says: “The evil effects produced upon the child witnessing marital bickerings, the household inspiration it receives with regard to judgment-feelings about women and men, the decisive manner in which parents affect it when they transfer their conflicts on the child—these capital facts the life histories of homosexuals given above illustrate very clearly for anyone willing to look squarely at the truth. We do not yet appreciate how careful we must be in our relations with the children. Our educators are still guilty of a serious blunder when they conceive their duty to be to instil goodness in the child through the instrumentality of fear. There are only two educational levers: one’s own example and—love. The healthiest children come from happy marriages. It is love that determines whether a marriage shall be a happy one and whether the offspring will be healthy or weak. The unconscious sexual instinct manifesting itself in love is the guide for the regeneration of the human race. Social conditions favouring early love marriages are the only social reform to which I look for results.” (Page 316.)

[16] The Glands Regulating Personality, Macmillan, 1921.

[17] See § 187.

[18] §§ 128-169.

[19] Dr. Alice B. Stockham, Karezza: Ethics of Marriage, N. Y., 1896. She recommends that both husband and wife refrain from the erotic acme. “During a lengthy period of perfect control, the whole being of each is merged into the other, and an exquisite exaltation experienced. This may be accompanied by a quiet motion, entirely under subordination of the will, so that the thrill of passion may not go beyond a pleasurable exchange.... With abundant time and mutual reciprocity the interchange becomes satisfactory and complete, without emission or crisis. In the course of an hour the physical tension subsides, the spiritual exaltation increases and not uncommonly visions of a transcendent life are seen and consciousness of new powers experienced.” (Page 25.) She suggests that such episodes should take place from two weeks to three months apart, and should be the only type of love episode except where procreation is desired.

[20] BeitrÄge zur Psychologie des Liebeslebens. Psychoanalytische Jahrbuch (1910).

[21] Harrow: Glands in Health and Disease, N. Y., 1922, p. 105.

[22] For a discussion of masochism see §§ 177, 180.

[23] For a discussion of the Mother-Imago see the chapter on Prostitution.

[24] “When we say that for health any individual requires an adequate sexual outlet, it must be understood that this outlet may be secured in a great number of different ways. A person may be having regular and frequent sexual intercourse (excessive intercourse, in fact) without this affording him an adequate outlet, or preventing his libido from becoming dammed up.”—Frink: Morbid Fears and Compulsions, p. 268.

[25] Lombroso and Ferrero: ap. Ellis, op. cit., VI, 415.

[26] § 102.

[27] Stekel, W.: The Homosexual Neurosis, Boston, 1922, p. 117.